Pinned
Autotuned
@autotuned.bsky.social
· Nov 23
Just got your text.
Are we still on for last night?
Are we still on for last night?
According to the weather prediction models, you’re to get anywhere between 1” to 2531” of snow
January 21, 2026 at 7:01 PM
According to the weather prediction models, you’re to get anywhere between 1” to 2531” of snow
Fuck it. I’m gonna start pronouncing the p in psycho
January 18, 2026 at 9:32 PM
Fuck it. I’m gonna start pronouncing the p in psycho
Reposted by Autotuned
I excel at saying two words at the same time.
January 17, 2026 at 11:09 PM
I excel at saying two words at the same time.
Reposted by Autotuned
One of my favorite ways to waste time is to do nothing about everything.
January 18, 2026 at 3:40 PM
One of my favorite ways to waste time is to do nothing about everything.
Reposted by Autotuned
LEADER: welcome to amnesia club do you have any stories you’d like to share
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
January 17, 2026 at 5:06 PM
LEADER: welcome to amnesia club do you have any stories you’d like to share
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
Reposted by Autotuned
Of course, personal growth is where it’s at. But it’s just so inconvenient, you know?
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
December 18, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Of course, personal growth is where it’s at. But it’s just so inconvenient, you know?
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
Reposted by Autotuned
Whenever I feel homesick I go into a dive bar.
January 2, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Whenever I feel homesick I go into a dive bar.
Reposted by Autotuned
Get in, loser
- me, during sex
- me, during sex
December 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Get in, loser
- me, during sex
- me, during sex
Good for you! Time can be the great healer. Stunning pic
January 3, 2026 at 10:03 PM
Good for you! Time can be the great healer. Stunning pic
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
January 1, 2026 at 3:04 PM
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
Reposted by Autotuned
I meant well. I think it was on a Thursday in 1978.
December 20, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I meant well. I think it was on a Thursday in 1978.
$10 bucks says I can’t pronounce Açaí correctly
December 29, 2025 at 1:23 AM
$10 bucks says I can’t pronounce Açaí correctly
Reposted by Autotuned
I left you on read.
Please respond.
Please respond.
December 29, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I left you on read.
Please respond.
Please respond.
Reposted by Autotuned
Inside me are a dozen Christmas cookies.
December 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Inside me are a dozen Christmas cookies.
Walmart Radio was absolutely fucking bangin today!
December 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Walmart Radio was absolutely fucking bangin today!
I hope everyone got a podcaster equipment starter kit cause lord knows there’s just not enough podcasters in the world
December 26, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I hope everyone got a podcaster equipment starter kit cause lord knows there’s just not enough podcasters in the world
Reposted by Autotuned
I don’t really want to do a new year. I’m all yeared out
December 26, 2025 at 7:50 AM
I don’t really want to do a new year. I’m all yeared out
Love the cardboard cutout… but this gift receptacle deal. Girl… you the queen on this one!! Brilliance achieved
December 23, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Love the cardboard cutout… but this gift receptacle deal. Girl… you the queen on this one!! Brilliance achieved
What am I bringing to the party?
A desire to leave.
A desire to leave.
December 23, 2025 at 11:11 AM
What am I bringing to the party?
A desire to leave.
A desire to leave.
Reposted by Autotuned
Joined the Flat Earth Society for the 50% discount on round-the-world air tickets.
December 17, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Joined the Flat Earth Society for the 50% discount on round-the-world air tickets.
Ahhhh ok. So like that old song “stuck in the 67 with you”… 😀
December 15, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Ahhhh ok. So like that old song “stuck in the 67 with you”… 😀
Hell, I don’t even know what 67 means 😆
December 15, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Hell, I don’t even know what 67 means 😆
Reposted by Autotuned
Cover me in potato chips and tell me I’m salty.
December 14, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Cover me in potato chips and tell me I’m salty.