Bar Mageddon
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barmageddon.bsky.social
Bar Mageddon
@barmageddon.bsky.social
Writer, millennial, certified baby whisperer. My phone has been on silent since 2011 and everyone can just deal with it. What Would Jim Larkin Do?

sports alt: https://bsky.app/profile/robadelphia.gobirds.online
Pinned
well i for one [falling onto the floor]
i use the following feed which means i miss a lot of posts from the people i follow

but it also gives me plausible deniability for the ones i don’t miss and choose to ignore
November 25, 2025 at 7:04 PM
my take on ranking the star wars movies is they aren’t good enough to bother
November 25, 2025 at 6:26 PM
- i appreciate a good semicolon
- i appreciate not bothering with a semicolon
- incorrect semicolons: why

why
November 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
suddenly so annoyed i got a brother in the family pollyanna instead of a sister
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:48 PM
getting ready for thanksgiving by repeatedly leaving quietly out the back
November 25, 2025 at 4:27 PM
i got a darkness in my heart and a coldness in my spleen
i’m not a sweetie i am v rude and mean
November 25, 2025 at 1:07 AM
[irish rapper shouting out their bisexual DJ] and we got cathal on the wans and dudes
November 24, 2025 at 11:25 PM
one thing i would never ever admit publicly is that i secretly believe i could kill as a rapper
November 24, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
White House Reclassifies Nursing As Hobby https://theonion.com/white-house-reclassifies-nursing-as-hobby/
November 24, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
November 24, 2025 at 4:22 PM
the clip of elon getting excited about the possibility of AI roasting someone at a party is the most dork-ass shit i’ve ever seen from an adult human, and in the context of who he is and the harm he’s caused, jfc

take all of his money away

the man needs a britney spears conservatorship
November 24, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
i am willing to survive on this hill
November 24, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
TECH EXEC 1: this icon is simple and functional, and there is beauty in its simplicity, and we have had zero user complaints

TECH EXEC 2: absolutely

[brief pause]

TECH EXEC 1: let’s change it

TECH EXEC 2: i hate it actually
November 23, 2025 at 2:41 PM
in case bluesky starts revealing account locations let me get ahead of this and admit that no i’m not actually from here (earth)
November 24, 2025 at 3:08 AM
i need to watch something apocalyptic

no i don’t mean a movie i need a volcano to open up on my street
November 24, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
we saw you from across the bar
November 23, 2025 at 8:46 PM
[seizing a la the pluribus hive]
bluesky checked the IP addresses of pro-turkey posters and they're all posting from hungry
November 23, 2025 at 9:04 PM
magic tricks

no i’m serious babies love magic and you don’t even have to be any good because they’re so easy to fool

however if you don’t feel like performing for an entire flight you may need to retain the services of a professional uncle
What are your top non-screen ways to keep an 11 month old baby entertained or at least not screaming on a long flight?
November 23, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
DMing "I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" to everyone who likes one of my posts
May 30, 2025 at 1:29 PM
really

on the lord’s day
November 23, 2025 at 7:49 PM
my brother and sister-in-law did a christmas photoshoot with their kids a week before thanksgiving this is heinous

do i call child services now or wait for the new year
November 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
tech companies are obsessed with making their products look worse they simply will not stop

bluesky recently did this but i’m actually talking about my apple TV
November 23, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
today i thought about driving 30 minutes to look at a bird

so yeah i am definitely still losing it
November 23, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Reposted by Bar Mageddon
(peering through my blinds) those motherfuckers better not come a wassailing
November 23, 2025 at 2:48 AM
not a great day to be named robert
November 23, 2025 at 2:38 AM