Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
@beardium.bsky.social
Fuck ICE
Fuck MAGA
He/him
My YouTubes
https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ
https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl
My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com
Fuck MAGA
He/him
My YouTubes
https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ
https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl
My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com
Pinned
Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning
Becoming your favorite person
January 19, 2026 at 5:12 AM
Becoming your favorite person
Drinking a glowing elixir that I found in a stone chest in the ruins of an ancient pagan temple
January 19, 2026 at 5:11 AM
Drinking a glowing elixir that I found in a stone chest in the ruins of an ancient pagan temple
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
He looks TERRIFIED that his mask has been pulled off‼️
January 18, 2026 at 11:03 PM
He looks TERRIFIED that his mask has been pulled off‼️
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
I was in the middle of typing that my lap was forlorn because my cat left me and he came back because he didn’t want me talking shit. But he already left again so I’m talking shit anyway. Your move, cat
January 19, 2026 at 4:05 AM
I was in the middle of typing that my lap was forlorn because my cat left me and he came back because he didn’t want me talking shit. But he already left again so I’m talking shit anyway. Your move, cat
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
I always talk to myself and swat at invisible birds when I'm out in public just in case I ever need to plead insanity
January 18, 2026 at 11:34 PM
I always talk to myself and swat at invisible birds when I'm out in public just in case I ever need to plead insanity
Being led up to an altar by a bunch of mysterious bros in hooded cloaks
January 18, 2026 at 11:32 PM
Being led up to an altar by a bunch of mysterious bros in hooded cloaks
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
The truth is simple:
1. Renee Good deserves to be alive
2. Jonathan Ross is a murderer
1. Renee Good deserves to be alive
2. Jonathan Ross is a murderer
January 18, 2026 at 10:22 PM
The truth is simple:
1. Renee Good deserves to be alive
2. Jonathan Ross is a murderer
1. Renee Good deserves to be alive
2. Jonathan Ross is a murderer
Why is it cloudy today? Isn't it Sunday?
January 18, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Why is it cloudy today? Isn't it Sunday?
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
My international friends top question is why can we just not get rid of him? They dont understand depravity to this degree and a helpless population.
January 18, 2026 at 8:24 PM
My international friends top question is why can we just not get rid of him? They dont understand depravity to this degree and a helpless population.
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
watchimg bro help an old lady cross the street w erotic precision
January 18, 2026 at 7:22 PM
watchimg bro help an old lady cross the street w erotic precision
This cyanide capsule is tough
January 18, 2026 at 5:05 PM
This cyanide capsule is tough
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Playing the bongos on my dad’s tits
January 17, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Playing the bongos on my dad’s tits
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Starting this week I’ll be posting a single letter of the alphabet every day for twenty-six days!
Follow me so you don’t miss one!
Follow me so you don’t miss one!
January 17, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Starting this week I’ll be posting a single letter of the alphabet every day for twenty-six days!
Follow me so you don’t miss one!
Follow me so you don’t miss one!
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
If you aren’t aware of this you need to watch this immediately….
He’s forcing people to wear his name TO EAT???????-
He’s forcing people to wear his name TO EAT???????-
January 17, 2026 at 11:45 PM
If you aren’t aware of this you need to watch this immediately….
He’s forcing people to wear his name TO EAT???????-
He’s forcing people to wear his name TO EAT???????-
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
But the bigger reason that you should write and make art, is that your work is someone else's respite.
You don't know who they are. They may be someone in the future. But if you have escaped into a book, or a painting, or a TV show... Someone created that.
You can do that for someone else.
You don't know who they are. They may be someone in the future. But if you have escaped into a book, or a painting, or a TV show... Someone created that.
You can do that for someone else.
January 16, 2026 at 3:48 PM
But the bigger reason that you should write and make art, is that your work is someone else's respite.
You don't know who they are. They may be someone in the future. But if you have escaped into a book, or a painting, or a TV show... Someone created that.
You can do that for someone else.
You don't know who they are. They may be someone in the future. But if you have escaped into a book, or a painting, or a TV show... Someone created that.
You can do that for someone else.
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
I was standing at the bus stop when a man walked up to me. He stood far too close, not saying anything. His face melted off and tentacles came out of his eyesockets. Then he said, "WHERE IS THE BUS? IT IS LATE. I NEED TO GET ON THE BUS."
January 18, 2026 at 3:12 PM
I was standing at the bus stop when a man walked up to me. He stood far too close, not saying anything. His face melted off and tentacles came out of his eyesockets. Then he said, "WHERE IS THE BUS? IT IS LATE. I NEED TO GET ON THE BUS."
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
the woods are lovely, dark and deep
there is beaker, hear him
there is beaker, hear him
January 18, 2026 at 7:30 AM
the woods are lovely, dark and deep
there is beaker, hear him
there is beaker, hear him
I quit my poop removal job. I was tired of taking their shit.
January 18, 2026 at 3:16 PM
I quit my poop removal job. I was tired of taking their shit.
Give me a gun. I'll do it for free.
January 18, 2026 at 6:45 AM
Give me a gun. I'll do it for free.
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
The "ICE is using military tactics suited for a warzone, not for American streets" rhetoric kinda misses the point that warzones are not naturally occuring. The US military creates war zones from residential neighborhoods and the tactics are not more justifiable just because it's overseas
January 18, 2026 at 1:42 AM
The "ICE is using military tactics suited for a warzone, not for American streets" rhetoric kinda misses the point that warzones are not naturally occuring. The US military creates war zones from residential neighborhoods and the tactics are not more justifiable just because it's overseas
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
I'm too handsome to be this poor
February 25, 2025 at 12:46 AM
I'm too handsome to be this poor
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Shoutout to everyone hard of hearing
January 18, 2026 at 5:55 AM
Shoutout to everyone hard of hearing
So many pedophiles. So little time
January 18, 2026 at 6:02 AM
So many pedophiles. So little time
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Saving up all of my existential dread for a rainy day.
*checks forecast
Fuck.
*checks forecast
Fuck.
July 10, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Saving up all of my existential dread for a rainy day.
*checks forecast
Fuck.
*checks forecast
Fuck.