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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩

@beardium.bsky.social

700 followers 460 following 4K posts

American by chance, not by choice. My YouTubes https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · Mar 16

Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1h

😂😂😂

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 9h

Xzibit gonna be doing Pimp My Casket in a few years.

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · Jan 3

Wtf is wrong with me

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · Dec 28

If that vampire guy came at me, I would just be like Nopesferatu

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · Jun 3

If you call me cheeky, I assume it's because you're thinking about my butt

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · Aug 31

Replying with, "AI generated content." whenever someone shows me pictures of their kids

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 9h

I ate here every day as a kid. My dad would leave me at the cafeteria with a fiver and tell me not to go anywhere while he went and banged the store manager in the fitting rooms.

Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · Sep 17

who up heading to the kmart cafeteria for some liver & onions

1970s Kmart Cafeteria menu (includes Liver & Onions Luncheon)

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 13h

Never saw it for that reason alone.

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 13h

Let's do it!

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 14h

Nah. Euthanizing them is the only way

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 21h

Fuck a movie that starts with a phone conversation

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 2d

Don't underestimate me. I could do much worse.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2d

*takes a drag off a cigarette* I remember when I had a favorite notification

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Gupp @kenny-loggoff.bsky.social · 2d

if u listen to the hotdog rollers w yr heart u can hear angels simg

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1d

Kill all billionaires

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Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 1d

I'm more disturbed about the voices outside my head. They be yapping.

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Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 1d

They need to be euthanized

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Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 1d

"Just be yourself."
*Tries being my true self*
*boos from the crowd*

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Kim @kmbrly.bsky.social · 1d

Trump losing the Nobel Prize to a woman who fought against what he is trying to become is poetry.

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Kim @kmbrly.bsky.social · 1d

The terrorist apartheid state of Israel has violated ceasefires 962 times, but sure this one will be different even though Palestinians are only allowed half of their country.