Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
@beardium.bsky.social
American by chance, not by choice.
My YouTubes
https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ
https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl
My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com
My YouTubes
https://youtube.com/@josephlongwellbeardedturner?si=Nr42Z7DJC_7UGAlZ
https://youtube.com/@longwellcraftworks?si=YVixuSxhEnXB4Dxl
My online store: www.longwellcraftworks.com
Pinned
Pushing on a pull door is how my shame spiral started this morning
In high school, I was voted Most Likely To Be A Person of Interest In A Murder Case.
November 27, 2025 at 5:29 AM
In high school, I was voted Most Likely To Be A Person of Interest In A Murder Case.
Happy Thank A White European for Killing Off Indigenous People and Stealing Their Land Day tomorrow!
November 27, 2025 at 5:27 AM
Happy Thank A White European for Killing Off Indigenous People and Stealing Their Land Day tomorrow!
Y'all seen Carmen San Diego or nah
November 27, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Y'all seen Carmen San Diego or nah
I miss Constantinople
November 27, 2025 at 5:24 AM
I miss Constantinople
It's A Stomach Pump, Charlie Brown!
November 27, 2025 at 5:21 AM
It's A Stomach Pump, Charlie Brown!
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
my family makes me eat thanksgiving dinner alone in the bathroom
November 26, 2025 at 9:18 PM
my family makes me eat thanksgiving dinner alone in the bathroom
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Campbell's soup took out my internet because I was getting too close to the truth
November 27, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Campbell's soup took out my internet because I was getting too close to the truth
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Just remember that eating pie makes your boobs bigger so eat the damn pie
November 27, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Just remember that eating pie makes your boobs bigger so eat the damn pie
Gonna do a Vulcan Mind Meld on the turkey tomorrow and just scream in agony as my family looks confused and hungry.
November 27, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Gonna do a Vulcan Mind Meld on the turkey tomorrow and just scream in agony as my family looks confused and hungry.
The fatter I get, the funnier I am. It's science.
November 27, 2025 at 4:42 AM
The fatter I get, the funnier I am. It's science.
Huffing cans of whipped cream for dessert tomorrow
November 27, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Huffing cans of whipped cream for dessert tomorrow
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Harry Potter and the bidet of fire
November 27, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Harry Potter and the bidet of fire
How many of you fuckers are gonna set your house on fire this year trying to deep fry a turkey?
November 27, 2025 at 4:35 AM
How many of you fuckers are gonna set your house on fire this year trying to deep fry a turkey?
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
"Pay me for having a powerful ass" -you
November 27, 2025 at 4:05 AM
"Pay me for having a powerful ass" -you
Does anybody want to invest in my toilet clogging machine?
November 27, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Does anybody want to invest in my toilet clogging machine?
Thanksgiving is tomorrow?
I still have my 9/11 tree up
I still have my 9/11 tree up
November 27, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Thanksgiving is tomorrow?
I still have my 9/11 tree up
I still have my 9/11 tree up
Sack of farts and fat logging in
November 26, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Sack of farts and fat logging in
Perchance you could enlighten me as to what ponderings have brought such a wistful look upon thine brow, bro?
November 25, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Perchance you could enlighten me as to what ponderings have brought such a wistful look upon thine brow, bro?
Repurposing my butt
November 25, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Repurposing my butt
Every kindergarten class had that one kid who looked like a 5 year old pedophile
November 25, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Every kindergarten class had that one kid who looked like a 5 year old pedophile
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Are ye even giving anything yer full concentration if yer tongue’s no stickin oot??
November 24, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Are ye even giving anything yer full concentration if yer tongue’s no stickin oot??
A YouTube video in which the YouTuber speaks into the camera while driving is the worst genre of YouTube videos.
November 25, 2025 at 4:28 AM
A YouTube video in which the YouTuber speaks into the camera while driving is the worst genre of YouTube videos.
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
Thanksgiving combines the two things I love most.
1. Eating
2. Giving people food poison
1. Eating
2. Giving people food poison
November 23, 2024 at 11:48 PM
Thanksgiving combines the two things I love most.
1. Eating
2. Giving people food poison
1. Eating
2. Giving people food poison
Reposted by Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩
You guys go and get some sleep I'll stay up and catastrophize for all of us
November 24, 2025 at 12:29 PM
You guys go and get some sleep I'll stay up and catastrophize for all of us
Of course, I'm into Asstrology. I've been staring at your Gemini twins all night 😏
November 24, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Of course, I'm into Asstrology. I've been staring at your Gemini twins all night 😏