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@noahgrim.bsky.social
Writer of stuff.
Website: noahgrim.com
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaatdk2bj2ce
avi by geraldinepiche.bsky.social
Website: noahgrim.com
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaatdk2bj2ce
avi by geraldinepiche.bsky.social
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@noahgrim.bsky.social
· 22d
noahgrim.com
a stupid blog for jerks.
noahgrim.com
Did you know that you can subscribe to my website for free? You could give me your entire email address. I could write it down on a yellow legal pad and rub it with my finger. I’d probably get black ink all over me. Ha ha. lol.
Then later I could email you stuff.
noahgrim.com
Then later I could email you stuff.
noahgrim.com
When I was a kid we had a little thing called turtle power
February 1, 2026 at 11:25 PM
When I was a kid we had a little thing called turtle power
Don’t know who needs to hear this but do your kegels, bro
February 1, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Don’t know who needs to hear this but do your kegels, bro
Reposted by slice
The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll
January 30, 2026 at 11:21 PM
The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll
Reposted by slice
Went to get acupuncture for a pain in my neck. She put a needle in my ass.
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
January 14, 2026 at 5:52 PM
Went to get acupuncture for a pain in my neck. She put a needle in my ass.
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
Told her my back hurt too. She put a needle in my ass.
Said I also get headaches. She put a needle in my ass.
Then I told her my ass hurt. She said, “No shit.”
Reposted by slice
What this vague apology is about is sexually harassing me telling me that he wants to fly over to me and fuck me until we both cant stand. And, of course, nothing says "im sorry" like blocking only the accounts of the person you harassed. But tell me again how you "learned so much", Mike.
January 30, 2026 at 10:46 PM
What this vague apology is about is sexually harassing me telling me that he wants to fly over to me and fuck me until we both cant stand. And, of course, nothing says "im sorry" like blocking only the accounts of the person you harassed. But tell me again how you "learned so much", Mike.
Oh, you have the same name as me? I GUESS THAT MAKES US NAME BUDDIES
January 29, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Oh, you have the same name as me? I GUESS THAT MAKES US NAME BUDDIES
I’m starting this new theory it’s called everybody is nine actually
January 29, 2026 at 5:47 PM
I’m starting this new theory it’s called everybody is nine actually
Reposted by slice
"90's kids remember-"
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
January 29, 2026 at 5:38 PM
"90's kids remember-"
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
90s kids dont remember shit, we're like 80 years old and in dire need of dialysis
Reposted by slice
Me, listening to Beethoven: "when you think about it, its pretty impressive that a dog wrote that"
January 29, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Me, listening to Beethoven: "when you think about it, its pretty impressive that a dog wrote that"
Reposted by slice
showing up naked and uncirc’ed at the bris and joking to the baby “well ONE OF US has to change”
January 29, 2026 at 2:51 PM
showing up naked and uncirc’ed at the bris and joking to the baby “well ONE OF US has to change”
Reposted by slice
Gonna start measuring my peen in centimeters instead of inches to make myself feel better.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
January 28, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Gonna start measuring my peen in centimeters instead of inches to make myself feel better.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
*measures*
Shit, never mind.
Duo ‘bout to suck this D
January 28, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Duo ‘bout to suck this D
Reposted by slice
finally learned the number 100 today
January 28, 2026 at 1:42 PM
finally learned the number 100 today
Just joined the mile pie club (ate a whole blueberry pie sitting on an airplane toilet)
January 28, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Just joined the mile pie club (ate a whole blueberry pie sitting on an airplane toilet)
It should be standard practice for police officers to say “I love you” after every traffic stop
January 26, 2026 at 8:20 PM
It should be standard practice for police officers to say “I love you” after every traffic stop
Guys the me on the other app is NOT the real me. I’M THE REAL ME
January 26, 2026 at 7:13 AM
Guys the me on the other app is NOT the real me. I’M THE REAL ME
I know people are scared and angry right now, but fear not! Sources are reporting that the next Spider-Man movie will be a “tonal shift”
January 25, 2026 at 3:35 PM
I know people are scared and angry right now, but fear not! Sources are reporting that the next Spider-Man movie will be a “tonal shift”
If you super-size your order at white castle they let you bite the cashier
January 23, 2026 at 9:11 PM
If you super-size your order at white castle they let you bite the cashier
Asking the pilot if he can keep the plane no higher than fifty feet for the first few hundred miles
January 23, 2026 at 6:51 PM
Asking the pilot if he can keep the plane no higher than fifty feet for the first few hundred miles
What if there was a frog guy
January 22, 2026 at 8:23 PM
What if there was a frog guy
HR is giving me shit about the porridge
January 22, 2026 at 7:00 PM
HR is giving me shit about the porridge
Are you gonna fuckin’ Wang Chung or not?
January 22, 2026 at 5:48 PM
Are you gonna fuckin’ Wang Chung or not?
Reposted by slice
*during sex
Me: Are you sure we’re not related?
Her: Yes.
Me: Goddammit.
Me: Are you sure we’re not related?
Her: Yes.
Me: Goddammit.
January 21, 2026 at 11:52 PM
*during sex
Me: Are you sure we’re not related?
Her: Yes.
Me: Goddammit.
Me: Are you sure we’re not related?
Her: Yes.
Me: Goddammit.
I can’t stop picturing myself naked
January 22, 2026 at 12:22 AM
I can’t stop picturing myself naked