Ben Helford
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benzored.bsky.social
Ben Helford
@benzored.bsky.social
350 followers 1.8K following 960 posts
City fan, dog dad, Seattlite. He/him.

"It is difficult with these evil folk to know when they are in league, and when they are cheating one another." - Aragorn
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benzored.bsky.social
Traveling to see family. Won't see my Coltrane for a week. Here's a pic to help me deal.
Coltrane with his head in my hands and paw on my arm.
November 23, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
theneedling.com
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
November 21, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
paintedsky.ca
Zohran did a Charisma check and rolled a nat 20
kevjg.bsky.social Kevin @kevjg.bsky.social · 3d
he never looks at JD that way
November 21, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
atherton.bsky.social
TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?

MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes

TRUMP: surely they ate him

MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't

TRUMP: Unbelievable
November 21, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
shadesofbluenw.bsky.social
If you see this post your getaway vehicle.
November 21, 2025 at 4:58 PM
benzored.bsky.social
I solved the daily Clues by Sam, Nov 21st 2025 (Hard), in 05:50
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cluesbysam.com
Clues by Sam
A daily logic puzzle where you deduce who are criminals and who are innocent!
cluesbysam.com
November 21, 2025 at 5:05 PM
benzored.bsky.social
If you see this post your getaway vehicle.
November 21, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
theonion.com
Dennis Hastert Just Going To Assume He Welcome Back In GOP
Dennis Hastert Just Going To Assume He Welcome Back In GOP
November 20, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
pookleblinky.bsky.social
Sam Altman: yeah so data centers, well you know they take a lot of power to run. And I figure, what is more powerful than Goku?

Interviewer: Goku is pretty powerful.

Altman: Goku will power our data centers.

Interviewer: yeah
August 19, 2025 at 5:52 AM
Reposted by Ben Helford
refrag.bsky.social
Today is the day to repost this meme about International Men's Day, one of the most unironically wholesome memes that has ever been made.

Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊
Nerdy kid at keyboard: Hi guys, I've noticed that it is International Men's Day today, and I'm confused. Why do we need a day to talk about men? We're not a marginalised group like women, queer people, or people of colour. The media is already full of stories about men. Big buff shirtless dude at keyboard: I'm glad you asked, champ. Whatever your view on men's place in society, it's still true that we face a lot of issues - like social isolation, risk of suicide, health problems, and attitudes towards sex and child rearing. Having a day to talk about those doesn't take away from anyone else's problems. In fact, having a day to talk about them helps us be more mindful, and listen better at other times. Second shirtless buff dude on a couch at his laptop: The chief here is really on to something. I want to echo what he said, and also point out that the idea we should remain silent about our problems actually contributes to a lot of our issues. We are human beings, with human needs. Seeking mutual support and understanding isn't the same thing as placing a burden on others. Especially if we're providing it for each other. Third buff dude at his laptop: Right on, my fellow kings. We've inherited a social legacy of competition and division, and a lot of what makes a man in our era is under question. IMD is a chance for us to examine and rethink what we are together, and build the bonds of solidarity and support that will make a better way possible - like in this meme. Because in our hearts, we're all curious kids and buff guys on keyboards.
November 19, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
barrydeutsch.bsky.social
Thank goodness we have cis white male pundits to tell us how to win elections. #PoliCartoon

(If you like our cartoons, help us make more at patreon.com/barry.)
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON This cartoon has four panels, all showing a prosperous-looking middle aged white guy sitting at his desk in a home office. PANEL 1 He talks directly to us, with a stern expression. MAN: I have a message for all the identity politics liberals! As long as identity politics exist, Democrats can't win elections. And if we can't win elections, then we can't make the changes you want. PANEL 2 MAN: Trans rights, for example. That alienates normal voters. so just be quiet about it. Just like Black activists, and feminists, and student protestors... you people are why Trump is president! PANEL 3 He lectures, looking very self-assured. MAN: The only way to get elected is to say nothing that could alienate white Trump voters. Trump voters will flock to Democrats if liberals just quit mentioning Blacks or gays or trans or women or any other identity politics crap! PANEL 4 He leans back in his chair, looking downright smug, and smiling at us. MAN: But don't worry! Once the Democrats are elected, we'll be in power, and then... you people should continue shutting up. Because we've got to get re-elected, right? TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW BOTTOM OF CARTOON MAN: I'm just saying we have to look at things objectively! And white men like me are aces at objectivity!
November 27, 2024 at 8:05 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
ceej.online
oscar the grouch, the curious green creature who makes a trash can his home and positively revels in his life among the filth, has made of me a cuckold
November 18, 2025 at 3:28 AM
benzored.bsky.social
"Champagne Supernova" and "Red Wine Supernova" are both absolute bangers. This leads one to ask, what other combinations of alcoholic beverage and astronomical phenomenon will result in awesome music? In this Ted talk, I will . . .
November 18, 2025 at 9:42 PM
benzored.bsky.social
It is true, they're always saying that.
November 18, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
exocomics.com
demands
November 18, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
theonion.com
Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’ https://theonion.com/trump-to-vance-i-need-you-to-say-you-stole-my-face-in-the-1990s/
Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’
November 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
adamparkhomenko.bsky.social
Be kind. Pass along. Share with a friend.
November 14, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
chrislhayes.bsky.social
Something that’s so striking in these emails is how…unimpressive Epstein is. He comes off as a pompous, sub-literate lech. Yes everyone is so mortifyingly solicitous of him! All fawning and flattery! Why?????
November 13, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Reposted by Ben Helford
rincewind.run
the biggest lesson from the emails today is that powerful people are so unafraid of consequences for crimes as bad as “raping children” that they will just talk about it openly in emails

the only path to a better society is one where that is no longer true
November 12, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
panasonicdx4500.bsky.social
QANON CULTIST IN 2017: "In this 1,879 page thread I will unravel the byzantine system of codewords and phrases the global elite use to mask their pedophile cabal."

JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"
lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 12d
pretty funny in retrospect that QAnon hinged on the idea that powerful elites at the highest levels of government were smart enough to talk in code when sending emails to each other about their despicable crimes
November 12, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
theonion.com
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
November 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
michaelhobbes.bsky.social
How dare you imply that our friendship was based on leering at teenage girls, it was based on sorting races into C, B, A and S tiers
November 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
michaelhobbes.bsky.social
The Epstein stuff is always so amazing to me because it's like "yes he was a sex criminal but if you can get past that, he was also an avowed eugenicist"
November 12, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Reposted by Ben Helford
ianzpotter.bsky.social
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
It's an artistic representation of a circulatory system walking through a kitchen, as drawn by Dave Gibbons and written about by Alan Moore. It happens a lot 'round here.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM