The Needling
@theneedling.com
Seattle's Only Real Fake News
(Satire/Parody)
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TheNeedling.com
(Satire/Parody)
Have a hot headline tip? Send it to [email protected]
TheNeedling.com
Reposted by The Needling
“We needed a test subject we could only measure on the Richter scale, so we called Your Mom,” said researcher Dr. Sykes. “Getting the right daily dose was harder than we anticipated since Your Mom spans multiple hemispheres.”
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom: tinyurl.com/bddhnv5p
November 25, 2025 at 7:01 AM
“We needed a test subject we could only measure on the Richter scale, so we called Your Mom,” said researcher Dr. Sykes. “Getting the right daily dose was harder than we anticipated since Your Mom spans multiple hemispheres.”
Reposted by The Needling
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom: tinyurl.com/bddhnv5p
November 25, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom: tinyurl.com/bddhnv5p
“We needed a test subject we could only measure on the Richter scale, so we called Your Mom,” said researcher Dr. Sykes. “Getting the right daily dose was harder than we anticipated since Your Mom spans multiple hemispheres.”
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom: tinyurl.com/bddhnv5p
November 25, 2025 at 7:01 AM
“We needed a test subject we could only measure on the Richter scale, so we called Your Mom,” said researcher Dr. Sykes. “Getting the right daily dose was harder than we anticipated since Your Mom spans multiple hemispheres.”
Reposted by The Needling
We knew that was a great ad campaign 👏: tinyurl.com/2c5ysbd7
November 25, 2025 at 1:50 AM
We knew that was a great ad campaign 👏: tinyurl.com/2c5ysbd7
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom: tinyurl.com/bddhnv5p
November 25, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom: tinyurl.com/bddhnv5p
We knew that was a great ad campaign 👏: tinyurl.com/2c5ysbd7
November 25, 2025 at 1:50 AM
We knew that was a great ad campaign 👏: tinyurl.com/2c5ysbd7
Reposted by The Needling
Five. Fucking. Stars. Good question!
Annoying friend Jeffrey then asked what the point of giving the lease acknowledgment is if you’re not going to give the lease back to the previous tenants or at least make some donation to the Tenants Union of Washington.
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
November 23, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Five. Fucking. Stars. Good question!
Reposted by The Needling
Just wait until he gets to the Pacific Northwest room at the British Museum.
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
November 22, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Just wait until he gets to the Pacific Northwest room at the British Museum.
Reposted by The Needling
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
November 21, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
Reposted by The Needling
A Puyallup man exploring London for the first time announced he’s named the towering clock he discovered today all on his own “Tahoma” after his favorite mountain back home almost 5,000 miles away.
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
November 22, 2025 at 12:04 AM
A Puyallup man exploring London for the first time announced he’s named the towering clock he discovered today all on his own “Tahoma” after his favorite mountain back home almost 5,000 miles away.
Reposted by The Needling
Annoying friend Jeffrey then asked what the point of giving the lease acknowledgment is if you’re not going to give the lease back to the previous tenants or at least make some donation to the Tenants Union of Washington.
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
November 21, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Annoying friend Jeffrey then asked what the point of giving the lease acknowledgment is if you’re not going to give the lease back to the previous tenants or at least make some donation to the Tenants Union of Washington.
Reposted by The Needling
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
November 21, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
Reposted by The Needling
I mean
Annoying friend Jeffrey then asked what the point of giving the lease acknowledgment is if you’re not going to give the lease back to the previous tenants or at least make some donation to the Tenants Union of Washington.
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
November 21, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I mean
A Puyallup man exploring London for the first time announced he’s named the towering clock he discovered today all on his own “Tahoma” after his favorite mountain back home almost 5,000 miles away.
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
November 22, 2025 at 12:04 AM
A Puyallup man exploring London for the first time announced he’s named the towering clock he discovered today all on his own “Tahoma” after his favorite mountain back home almost 5,000 miles away.
Annoying friend Jeffrey then asked what the point of giving the lease acknowledgment is if you’re not going to give the lease back to the previous tenants or at least make some donation to the Tenants Union of Washington.
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
November 21, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Annoying friend Jeffrey then asked what the point of giving the lease acknowledgment is if you’re not going to give the lease back to the previous tenants or at least make some donation to the Tenants Union of Washington.
Reposted by The Needling
"Taking the girlfriend home to meet the parents shouldn’t just be limited to human girlfriends"
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Alaska Airlines to Extend Companion Fare to AI Girlfriends
Just in time for holiday travel to visit loved ones, today Alaska Airlines announced that it’s extending its discount Companion Fare to AI girlfriends. “Here at Alaska, we don’t discriminate: Takin…
theneedling.com
November 21, 2025 at 8:43 PM
"Taking the girlfriend home to meet the parents shouldn’t just be limited to human girlfriends"
@theneedling.com
theneedling.com/2025/11/17/a...
@theneedling.com
theneedling.com/2025/11/17/a...
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
November 21, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away at Home: tinyurl.com/ms62y9kx
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
November 21, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Central District Friendsgiving Begins with Lease Acknowledgment of Previous Tenants: tinyurl.com/bbahuzn6
Reposted by The Needling
What a relief
November 20, 2025 at 3:46 PM
What a relief
Reposted by The Needling
Teehee! We come in peace. But don’t try us. I can’t imagine that @altmtrainier.com is happy about losing 20 feet in elevation thanks to you humans, so…
November 20, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Teehee! We come in peace. But don’t try us. I can’t imagine that @altmtrainier.com is happy about losing 20 feet in elevation thanks to you humans, so…
Reposted by The Needling
Whew, what a relie--
November 20, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Whew, what a relie--
Reposted by The Needling
Odds are good my obit will go "he was criticizing his friend's method of starting the campfire when the lahar hit him"
November 20, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Odds are good my obit will go "he was criticizing his friend's method of starting the campfire when the lahar hit him"
Reposted by The Needling
The Needling is to The Onion as
Almost Live was to SNL. 😂
Almost Live was to SNL. 😂
November 20, 2025 at 6:34 AM
The Needling is to The Onion as
Almost Live was to SNL. 😂
Almost Live was to SNL. 😂
Reposted by The Needling
lol
At press time, J.K. Rowling and Dave Chappelle’s legacies were also reportedly feared dead on the hill every transphobe’s legacy dies on.
Group of Mountain Climbers Dies on Mountain Everyone Dies On: tinyurl.com/emzu2z7v
November 20, 2025 at 7:11 AM
lol
Reposted by The Needling
I remember when I lived in Olympia, every time I saw Rainier I was like "ohhh, you fucker, I know you're thinking about it! I don't trust youuuu!"
November 20, 2025 at 5:28 AM
I remember when I lived in Olympia, every time I saw Rainier I was like "ohhh, you fucker, I know you're thinking about it! I don't trust youuuu!"