𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
@bzvowell.bsky.social
𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚂𝚊𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝
𝙱𝙱𝙴𝙶
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚏𝚝
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝙸 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑-𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚛-𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚐𝚘.
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚂𝚊𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝
𝙱𝙱𝙴𝙶
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚏𝚝
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝙸 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑-𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚛-𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚐𝚘.
Pinned
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
A leaked memo indicates that federal shock troops will no longer conduct operations in the Cumberland Plateau after a string of HCBT (Head Crushed Between Thighs) incidents perpetrated by sexy trailer park MILFs (Marxists I’d Like to Fuck)
#RevolutionHeadlines
#RevolutionHeadlines
February 18, 2026 at 4:13 AM
A leaked memo indicates that federal shock troops will no longer conduct operations in the Cumberland Plateau after a string of HCBT (Head Crushed Between Thighs) incidents perpetrated by sexy trailer park MILFs (Marxists I’d Like to Fuck)
#RevolutionHeadlines
#RevolutionHeadlines
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Cephalopods are nothing to be afraid of. They don't see humans as prey, so they probably wouldn't hurt you
But Humboldt squids (Dosidicus gigas) are big squids with a reputation for being aggressive, so I would be pretty scared if one grabbed by like this
🦑📷ferleys (inaturalist.ca/observations...)
But Humboldt squids (Dosidicus gigas) are big squids with a reputation for being aggressive, so I would be pretty scared if one grabbed by like this
🦑📷ferleys (inaturalist.ca/observations...)
February 18, 2026 at 3:59 AM
Cephalopods are nothing to be afraid of. They don't see humans as prey, so they probably wouldn't hurt you
But Humboldt squids (Dosidicus gigas) are big squids with a reputation for being aggressive, so I would be pretty scared if one grabbed by like this
🦑📷ferleys (inaturalist.ca/observations...)
But Humboldt squids (Dosidicus gigas) are big squids with a reputation for being aggressive, so I would be pretty scared if one grabbed by like this
🦑📷ferleys (inaturalist.ca/observations...)
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Just told my teary-eyed child that I have to keep drinking beers, I have to win the contest
February 18, 2026 at 4:00 AM
Just told my teary-eyed child that I have to keep drinking beers, I have to win the contest
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Is this that Heated Rivalry show?
February 18, 2026 at 2:30 AM
Is this that Heated Rivalry show?
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
CHECK BEFORE YOU GO! @lululenin.bsky.social recounts their bathroom nightmare as @talibkweli.bsky.social jump scared the shit outta them! It seems the rapper is now clogging toilets...with himself?? And where's Patrick!?!
February 18, 2026 at 1:43 AM
CHECK BEFORE YOU GO! @lululenin.bsky.social recounts their bathroom nightmare as @talibkweli.bsky.social jump scared the shit outta them! It seems the rapper is now clogging toilets...with himself?? And where's Patrick!?!
Thousands of naked Goblins... And one(1) very turgid Skeletor.
almost got trampled by the thousands of naked goblins streaking thru the forest
February 17, 2026 at 11:04 PM
Thousands of naked Goblins... And one(1) very turgid Skeletor.
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
See, that's your mistake- the internet simply always gets worse because more people keep getting on it, and People Are Terrible.
February 17, 2026 at 10:34 PM
See, that's your mistake- the internet simply always gets worse because more people keep getting on it, and People Are Terrible.
This is the real scary thing about the hardware shortages. We are literally letting Tech Companies and ISPs take control all the processing power and storage. If you thought a Photoshop Subscription was bad, wait until you have to pay to make computer work gooder.
FML, it's all so dumb.
FML, it's all so dumb.
i think lots of people underestimate how badly these “AI” companies want people to be unable to afford computers. they view personal computing as a roadblock to their desire for complete end-to-end centralization. the fact that their tech is putting hardware out of reach is not just a happy accident
WD and Seagate confirm: Hard drives for 2026 sold out
February 17, 2026 at 9:52 PM
This is the real scary thing about the hardware shortages. We are literally letting Tech Companies and ISPs take control all the processing power and storage. If you thought a Photoshop Subscription was bad, wait until you have to pay to make computer work gooder.
FML, it's all so dumb.
FML, it's all so dumb.
I don't mind asking for a little help at work.
February 17, 2026 at 7:19 PM
I don't mind asking for a little help at work.
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Everybody says this. Then your Wizard Baby storms a dungeon two levels too high for him and you have to bail him out a three in the goddamn morning.
February 17, 2026 at 1:34 PM
Everybody says this. Then your Wizard Baby storms a dungeon two levels too high for him and you have to bail him out a three in the goddamn morning.
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
this is actually how @bzvowell.bsky.social gets around town
Hollywood is COOKED
I made this $50,000,000 movie for free using AI
I made this $50,000,000 movie for free using AI
February 17, 2026 at 7:07 AM
this is actually how @bzvowell.bsky.social gets around town
Advertise your account with a gif
February 17, 2026 at 6:46 AM
Advertise your account with a gif
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Now the secret to smoking salvia is to do big fat bong rips from a seated position with a friend nearby to catch the bong when you inevitably lose motor control and drop it or knock it over.
February 17, 2026 at 3:16 AM
Now the secret to smoking salvia is to do big fat bong rips from a seated position with a friend nearby to catch the bong when you inevitably lose motor control and drop it or knock it over.
Can someone find Mayor Coleslaw? I tried coleslaw on my burger and we need to talk about it.
February 17, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Can someone find Mayor Coleslaw? I tried coleslaw on my burger and we need to talk about it.
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
I want to make this absolutely clear: joining COBRA is absolutely justified if the result is getting a literal goddamn dinosaur. This is INCREDIBLY badass and I now understand that GI Joe are in the wrong.
So to make this toy even better, we now know this guy's real name is Crispin Killgore and he's a wealthy South African who wanted to own a real dinosaur ever since he was a spoiled little brat, and works with Cobra exclusively because they were willing to fund his sketchy cloning project.
February 16, 2026 at 9:21 PM
I want to make this absolutely clear: joining COBRA is absolutely justified if the result is getting a literal goddamn dinosaur. This is INCREDIBLY badass and I now understand that GI Joe are in the wrong.
Remember to vote to your values, because if a politician or party is not catering to you or your values it's important they learn to do that if they want your vote.
If a government can be destroyed or harmed by this, Democracy has failed and it's time for revolution.
That's the line in the sand.
If a government can be destroyed or harmed by this, Democracy has failed and it's time for revolution.
That's the line in the sand.
This. Precisely this. Serious people don’t threaten to vote third party, because it’s a tantrum.
I don’t like Newsom at all, I think he’s an amoral opportunist. But JD Vance is quite literally a man who gets his ideas from neo-Nazis. He’s a white supremacist fascist. It’s an easy, easy choice!
I don’t like Newsom at all, I think he’s an amoral opportunist. But JD Vance is quite literally a man who gets his ideas from neo-Nazis. He’s a white supremacist fascist. It’s an easy, easy choice!
Threatening not to vote just shouldn’t be as much a thing as it is in progressive spaces instead of being the fucking constant monotonous feature that it is and more then anything else if you’re doing that over Newson you’re just telling me and everyone else that what’s happening now is nbd to you.
February 16, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Remember to vote to your values, because if a politician or party is not catering to you or your values it's important they learn to do that if they want your vote.
If a government can be destroyed or harmed by this, Democracy has failed and it's time for revolution.
That's the line in the sand.
If a government can be destroyed or harmed by this, Democracy has failed and it's time for revolution.
That's the line in the sand.
Having a hard time not quitting everything today because it's all just so fucking stupid all the time and it never relents and I really need a couple Tylenol with Hydrocodone.
February 16, 2026 at 5:35 PM
Having a hard time not quitting everything today because it's all just so fucking stupid all the time and it never relents and I really need a couple Tylenol with Hydrocodone.
Mummies are actually Revenants. The undead corpse is just a vessel for power.
Some actually have magical powers, but most are just a dusty Jason Voorhees wrapped up in Bog-roll.
Some actually have magical powers, but most are just a dusty Jason Voorhees wrapped up in Bog-roll.
For legal purposes is a mummy classified as a zombie?
February 16, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Mummies are actually Revenants. The undead corpse is just a vessel for power.
Some actually have magical powers, but most are just a dusty Jason Voorhees wrapped up in Bog-roll.
Some actually have magical powers, but most are just a dusty Jason Voorhees wrapped up in Bog-roll.
Does anyone want to hear about our lord & savior, Voltron?
February 16, 2026 at 4:31 PM
Does anyone want to hear about our lord & savior, Voltron?
Good luck today hunting across the Veldt.
May your teeth take down a large elk so you and your office coworkers feast together as a pack. (But you get to keep the liver).
May your teeth take down a large elk so you and your office coworkers feast together as a pack. (But you get to keep the liver).
February 16, 2026 at 1:29 PM
Good luck today hunting across the Veldt.
May your teeth take down a large elk so you and your office coworkers feast together as a pack. (But you get to keep the liver).
May your teeth take down a large elk so you and your office coworkers feast together as a pack. (But you get to keep the liver).
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
7 Federal agents have gone blind after drinking confiscated moonshine. The jugs were labeled “Oops! All Methanol!” but none of the victims could read. The Kentucky Marxist Brigades (KMB) have claimed responsibility with a press release saying simply “lol” #RevolutionHeadlines
February 16, 2026 at 1:51 AM
7 Federal agents have gone blind after drinking confiscated moonshine. The jugs were labeled “Oops! All Methanol!” but none of the victims could read. The Kentucky Marxist Brigades (KMB) have claimed responsibility with a press release saying simply “lol” #RevolutionHeadlines
Wizard Baby wore Grey sweatpants today and I was intimidated.
February 16, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Wizard Baby wore Grey sweatpants today and I was intimidated.