𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
banner
bzvowell.bsky.social
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
@bzvowell.bsky.social
𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚂𝚊𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝
𝙱𝙱𝙴𝙶
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚏𝚝

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝙸 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑-𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚛-𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚐𝚘.
Pinned
THANK YOU LISTENERS FOR SUPPORTING THE FOREST OF TRUTHS!
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Now the secret to smoking salvia is to do big fat bong rips from a seated position with a friend nearby to catch the bong when you inevitably lose motor control and drop it or knock it over.
February 17, 2026 at 3:16 AM
Can someone find Mayor Coleslaw? I tried coleslaw on my burger and we need to talk about it.
February 17, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
I want to make this absolutely clear: joining COBRA is absolutely justified if the result is getting a literal goddamn dinosaur. This is INCREDIBLY badass and I now understand that GI Joe are in the wrong.
So to make this toy even better, we now know this guy's real name is Crispin Killgore and he's a wealthy South African who wanted to own a real dinosaur ever since he was a spoiled little brat, and works with Cobra exclusively because they were willing to fund his sketchy cloning project.
February 16, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Remember to vote to your values, because if a politician or party is not catering to you or your values it's important they learn to do that if they want your vote.

If a government can be destroyed or harmed by this, Democracy has failed and it's time for revolution.

That's the line in the sand.
This. Precisely this. Serious people don’t threaten to vote third party, because it’s a tantrum.

I don’t like Newsom at all, I think he’s an amoral opportunist. But JD Vance is quite literally a man who gets his ideas from neo-Nazis. He’s a white supremacist fascist. It’s an easy, easy choice!
Threatening not to vote just shouldn’t be as much a thing as it is in progressive spaces instead of being the fucking constant monotonous feature that it is and more then anything else if you’re doing that over Newson you’re just telling me and everyone else that what’s happening now is nbd to you.
February 16, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Having a hard time not quitting everything today because it's all just so fucking stupid all the time and it never relents and I really need a couple Tylenol with Hydrocodone.
February 16, 2026 at 5:35 PM
Mummies are actually Revenants. The undead corpse is just a vessel for power.

Some actually have magical powers, but most are just a dusty Jason Voorhees wrapped up in Bog-roll.
For legal purposes is a mummy classified as a zombie?
February 16, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Does anyone want to hear about our lord & savior, Voltron?
February 16, 2026 at 4:31 PM
Good luck today hunting across the Veldt.

May your teeth take down a large elk so you and your office coworkers feast together as a pack. (But you get to keep the liver).
February 16, 2026 at 1:29 PM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
7 Federal agents have gone blind after drinking confiscated moonshine. The jugs were labeled “Oops! All Methanol!” but none of the victims could read. The Kentucky Marxist Brigades (KMB) have claimed responsibility with a press release saying simply “lol” #RevolutionHeadlines
February 16, 2026 at 1:51 AM
Wizard Baby wore Grey sweatpants today and I was intimidated.
February 16, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
A group calling itself the Appalachian People’s Liberation Front (APLF) has splintered off from the Appalachian Socialist Popular Front (ASPF) after a heated disagreement over whether or not cornbread can have sugar and if it’s okay to bake it in those stupid corn shaped pans #RevolutionHeadlines
February 15, 2026 at 7:09 PM
I miss the old internet :-{
February 15, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horn when it comes to love.
February 15, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
i’ve been beyond happy ever since i gave up my job as a carpenter to become the protector if the swamp, and the creatures that call it home.
February 14, 2026 at 1:56 PM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Discovering that conversation hearts are literally older than the fucking American Civil War was a trip and a half, let me tell you. It also explains why they taste like shit.
SALE: Hiram's is offerin' a whole bag o' Conversation Hearts (which, yes, somehow already exist in 1881, an' prob'ly explains why they taste like chalk) fer the price of one nickel! With such delightful phrases as:

-"My darling husband I have given you infectious genital sores out of love"
February 14, 2026 at 7:31 PM
February 14, 2026 at 5:44 PM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
In all seriousness I feel like there's a real apology owed to a lot of people in conspiracy circles by the MSM.

Also I have a LOT of questions about Bohemian Grove right now. A LOT.
MSM spent the last decade at least denigrating "conspiracy theorists", late night TV hosts would literally joke about how loony people are who think there's a satanic cult of cannibal pedophilic elites running the USA. Now the least certifiable allegation in that statement is that they were satanic.
February 14, 2026 at 3:23 PM
I haven't carried anyone across the River Styx in a long time if you know what I mean
February 14, 2026 at 2:13 PM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
I will never vote for Ice Spice.
February 14, 2026 at 8:20 AM
Trust your local Civil Servent. Not all of them are evil.
February 14, 2026 at 7:28 AM
The first decade of the 2000's was a lost generation of hip hop greatness.
youtu.be/MQdptdYohno?...
Eyedea & Abilities - Kept (Official Audio)
YouTube video by Rhymesayers Entertainment
youtu.be
February 14, 2026 at 7:22 AM
The God That Became a Demon King
YouTube video by Pantheon Mythology
youtu.be
February 14, 2026 at 6:51 AM
Valentines... Whatever.
February 14, 2026 at 6:33 AM
I started out the evening in such a good mood. Now I'm gonna drink and hope I don't stew. Imagine that I am doing something else.
February 14, 2026 at 4:45 AM
Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
tried to scare tall legged adventurers walking thru the forest tonite and this one just grabbed me, put me down! aaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhh
February 14, 2026 at 12:53 AM