The Captain
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captainmorton.bsky.social
The Captain
@captainmorton.bsky.social
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thecaptain.neocities.org

It's a Webbed Site, that I made, with some games on it, that I made
I was born in a haunted cave and I will die in a haunted cave. Here are some Quests I have made.
thecaptain.neocities.org
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The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."
December 15, 2025 at 4:51 PM
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"From hell's heart I stab at thee!"
🎵 here in
🎵 Duck Berg
July 17, 2025 at 7:12 PM
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I think it's important not to misunderstand what these social media platforms are. They are not public arenas where we bravely take on reactionary forces in honorable combat. They are apps that expose you to stress and thereby simulate the feeling of having done something useful
December 15, 2025 at 9:41 PM
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i would kill for her and i would lie for her
December 16, 2025 at 10:18 AM
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December 15, 2025 at 9:08 PM
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you must not, in every case at least, take the higgledy-piggledy whale statements, however authentic, in these extracts, for veritable gospel cetology.
December 15, 2025 at 11:47 AM
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December 14, 2025 at 5:27 PM
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the only pill at the gas station that actually works
December 13, 2025 at 9:27 PM
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since driving discourse is raging on the timeline, i guess it's time to reup this, the greatest op ed the NYT ever ran
LONG ISLAND OPINION; DRINKING AND DRIVING CAN MIX (Published 1984)
www.nytimes.com
December 13, 2025 at 4:13 PM
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🎵Mitosis brings all the cells to the yard
🎵And they're like o ꝏ oo ꝏꝏ oooo ꝏꝏꝏꝏ oooooooo ꝏꝏꝏꝏꝏꝏꝏꝏ
December 12, 2025 at 2:01 PM
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Yeah, so wishlist We Kill Monsters because trust me, Jacob is cooking. store.steampowered.com/app/1792460/...
December 13, 2025 at 4:20 AM
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December 13, 2025 at 10:12 AM
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Anti-A.I. stamps!

For illustrations, comics, photos and all your creative works, printed and digital!

You can download the transparent file for free here: ko-fi.com/i/IT6T718NAKF (but consider donating please 😘)
January 7, 2025 at 7:28 PM
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December 10, 2025 at 6:44 PM
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SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
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oh, okay then
December 9, 2025 at 5:53 PM
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November 29, 2025 at 9:00 PM
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for the emperor
December 8, 2025 at 11:11 PM
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I appreciate Skate Story upping the game on the "we did not use Generative AI to make this game" disclosure meta.
December 9, 2025 at 6:30 AM
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Being a British parent is so weird bc you're actually worried about paying the sky high rent/mortgage & getting GP appointments but the entire press keeps telling you you're worried there's a trans person or immigrant nearby & the vat on Eton means there'll only be two skiing holidays this year
December 7, 2025 at 7:44 PM
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I dunno man the concept of actually owning something you pay for must be like a drug if you're under 30
December 7, 2025 at 6:57 PM
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The Great Ace Attorney is proud to present:

The Blowjob Brothers
December 7, 2025 at 10:18 PM
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December 6, 2025 at 12:31 AM
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To quote David Lynch on watching feature films on a phone:
"It's the most sickening, horrifying joke. [...] It's such a sadness that you think you've seen a film on your fucking phone. Get real."
December 7, 2025 at 8:48 AM
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David Lynch in full.
David Lynch on iPhones - Full Clip
YouTube video by Sir Mix-A-Lot Rare Music
youtu.be
December 7, 2025 at 8:49 AM