Author | Lightnews

Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 11h

I used Lyft yesterday for the first time and they awarded me the "Marathoner" badge for having traveled 5 miles with them. Obviously they have no runners on their marketing team. (For those who don't know, a marathon is 26.2 miles.)

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 1d

Oooh, the Toronto subway is just like New York's! An "unauthorized person on the tracks" and power has been cut. Good thing I'm not in a hurry.

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 1d

Hi again, Canada! I'm in Toronto, who wants to meet up? (I have very little meeting-up time.)

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 2d

this is what will happen if mamdani makes bus rides free

A cat is seen riding a bus. They are standing up and have their front paws on the back of the front seat.

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 1d

"Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real."

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

First published on October 9, 2009, this classic by Colin Nissan is our most-read article of all time. We’re celebrating the 16th anniversary of th...

buff.ly

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 1d

We don't make the rules, but we do have to obey them. Sorry about your bread.

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 2d

I was about to get up after a short nap, but then Dio decided it was her naptime, on my lap. Guess I'll go back to sleep. Rules are rules.

A fluffy tortoiseshell cat is curled up on a teal knitted blanket.

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

The Onion @theonion.com · 2d

Diplomatic Talks Break Down Between Trump, Motion-Activated Ghost Decoration

WASHINGTON—In what they described as a disappointing turn in the ongoing negotiations, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that diplomatic talks had broken down between President Donald Trump an...

theonion.com

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 3d

I hear the Epstein Ballroom will be illuminated solely by gaslighting.

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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 5d

I'm not sure you can get more marie antoinette than taking away food stamps before thanksgiving while you build a gold and marble dance hall so the other crooks can bring bribe you over a badly-cooked (argentinian) steak

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Andy Kostrub @andrewkostrub.bsky.social · 4d

Updating my LEGO White House

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 6d

I am not a voter in Maine, but thank you.

Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 6d

I haven't scrolled quite that long yet. Might quit while I'm ahead.

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 6d

I proofread half that book!

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 6d

I would really like to be asleep, considering I have to be up in about 3 hours. #insomnia

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 6d

But I pronounce carry differently. Some weirdos (jk) pronounce all three the same.

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 7d

Yes.

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

🎃 Iva Cheung 🍗 @ivacheung.com · 11d

A'ight—I think we have to get the band back together, because this cannot stand. We (politely) mobbed @merriam-webster.com into adding "pube"; surely we can do it again for "dookie."

Screen shot from Merriam-Webster dictionary saying "'dookie.' The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above."

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 12d

Seems ... not so covert.

New York times headline reads Trump administration authorizes covert CIA action in Venezuela

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 12d

New shoes? Different socks? Longer run? Wet feet?

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 15d

He had the best ears! ❤️💔

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Jaime Sperling @diedofennui.bsky.social · 18d

Even editors need editors! It's a fact.

Zora O'Neill @zoraoneill.com · 18d

I'm an editor and I need an editor!

Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 19d

repost this if an editor has ever saved you from yourself

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

Dakota Williams @not-wyoming.bsky.social · 19d

it's true, portland is a warzone and if you live there you should definitely sell me your house ASAP at a severe markdown (for your own safety)

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

Benjamin Dreyer @bcdreyer.social · 21d

Saw a T-shirt today that said "If CrossFit were easy, it would be called your mother," in case you were wondering whether people still use the subjunctive.

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Reposted by Jaime Sperling

ʕᵔᴥᵔʔ Milla Lorelei Mélomane 💙 ʕᵔᴥᵔʔ @britpoptarts.bsky.social · 21d

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