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Travis from his porch 🌻

@freeulysses.bsky.social

350 followers 930 following 2K posts

Casual troublemaker. Reader of books. Boston sports fan. Cat dad. Music lover. Renowned home chef.

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · Mar 2

we need ONE Congressional leader to file a bill to officially change the name of the US to Trumpland.

once he hears the idea, he'll latch on to it and never stop fucking talking about it. he'll make Johnston and the rest of the stooges vote for it. make this happen.

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 22h

and that has what to do with a foreign base in Idaho?

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 22h

why the f would we want a foreign military base in Idaho?!?

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 23h

can't find the time to swear in an elected rep, or negotiate to end the shutdown, or to be in session at all ... but there's always time for this shit

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 1d

maybe you’re the ghost?

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 1d

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

“c’mon man that’s obviously an 83 mph change and not. 96 mph fastball. get your damn head in the game!”

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

fully half of the bullets in the WH bullshit release occurred during Trump’s first term: between 5-9 years ago

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

That’s her!

a man and woman are walking down a street

ALT: a man and woman are walking down a street

media.tenor.com

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

no, that’s pretty much it

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

Goin lootin’!!

a cat driving a car with the words headed to portland written below it

ALT: a cat driving a car with the words headed to portland written below it

media.tenor.com

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

I didn’t stab that stranger on the train platform! I simply perforated his heart muscle with a metal blade

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

Jesus. She’s 1000x better at this than Jeffries is

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

got my antifa pardon and I’m all outta fucks to give

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

Latin? as in LATIN AMERICA? i don't fucking think so

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

ah yes, the Federal That's a Crime Act

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

apparently it was all performative, mostly just for fundraising text content

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 2d

it's simply not possible for me to obtain the permission of each house i intend to loot before doing so, therefore i will simply rob them unless they sign this particular form i've prepared for them to opt-out of my string of burglaries

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

thing is, very few agency heads have been actively participating in criminal acts while appearing before Congress.

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Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

don't even be heading down to new orleans when there's still shit to take care of by the lake

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

nope. even more of them equate "crime" with seeing black people, so ...

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

lolz

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

"as a former farmer, i can tell you with certainty ..."

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

the finding out phase is often the most difficult phase

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 3d

always a great negotiation strategy to preemptively give the other side what they want in exchange for a promise of a subsequent negotiation with zero leverage

Travis from his porch 🌻 @freeulysses.bsky.social · 4d

are you now, or have you ever, eaten a baguette?