Pinned
Jay Tee Lan
@jayteelan.bsky.social
· Dec 28
welp, i guess i've settled in here, so here's how i can be pigeonholed:
- plant nerd
- mycophile
- grew up on IRC and Usenet
- really big faggot
- he/him/they/them
- polyglot (primarily 國語/Mandarin, English, Español)
- recovering pastry chef
- offal enthusiast
- music and audio geek
- weird-brained
- plant nerd
- mycophile
- grew up on IRC and Usenet
- really big faggot
- he/him/they/them
- polyglot (primarily 國語/Mandarin, English, Español)
- recovering pastry chef
- offal enthusiast
- music and audio geek
- weird-brained
Apropos of absolutely nothing, one of my favorite Spanish words is "crujipollo," a portmanteau of "crujiente" (crunchy) and "pollo" (chicken) for fried chicken.
February 11, 2026 at 4:54 PM
Apropos of absolutely nothing, one of my favorite Spanish words is "crujipollo," a portmanteau of "crujiente" (crunchy) and "pollo" (chicken) for fried chicken.
Just started a workplace harassment training course and all I can think is:
...wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes!
...wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes!
February 11, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Just started a workplace harassment training course and all I can think is:
...wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes!
...wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes!
Age verification?
The dread I had dialling up friends who lived in area code 908
The dread I had dialling up friends who lived in area code 908
February 10, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Age verification?
The dread I had dialling up friends who lived in area code 908
The dread I had dialling up friends who lived in area code 908
My latest YouTube find is a bilingual-bicultural chef in Shenzhen who's teaching me the vocabulary to discuss water binding and sugar inversion in Mandarin.
When he speaks English, he's just as blue as the rest of the kitchenfolk I came up with
When he speaks English, he's just as blue as the rest of the kitchenfolk I came up with
为了1颗糖，卖了全家人
YouTube video by 鞑厨高寒
youtu.be
February 9, 2026 at 9:18 PM
My latest YouTube find is a bilingual-bicultural chef in Shenzhen who's teaching me the vocabulary to discuss water binding and sugar inversion in Mandarin.
When he speaks English, he's just as blue as the rest of the kitchenfolk I came up with
When he speaks English, he's just as blue as the rest of the kitchenfolk I came up with
Me before Dupixent:
February 7, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Me before Dupixent:
I just misread Weird Al as "Weird AI" and damn you, sans serif.
February 5, 2026 at 4:16 AM
I just misread Weird Al as "Weird AI" and damn you, sans serif.
January 30, 2026 at 11:42 PM
My softcore:
The Life of the forest. Bryophytes
YouTube video by Forest Film Studio
youtu.be
January 26, 2026 at 11:06 PM
My softcore:
Pseudo-alt: a promo poster for the new film Melania hangs in a bus shelter. Someone has tagged it in red marker with "MY HUSBAND FUCKS KIDS"
Now, *this* is the cut of Melania's new vanity movie I'd watch.
(I'm kidding. I wouldn't watch anything about her.)
(I'm kidding. I wouldn't watch anything about her.)
January 26, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Pseudo-alt: a promo poster for the new film Melania hangs in a bus shelter. Someone has tagged it in red marker with "MY HUSBAND FUCKS KIDS"
I installed a flow control valve in between the shower diverter and hose and it feels like I've levelled up in my homosexuality.
Now I just need to find my libido so I'll actually use it again.
Now I just need to find my libido so I'll actually use it again.
January 25, 2026 at 8:00 PM
I installed a flow control valve in between the shower diverter and hose and it feels like I've levelled up in my homosexuality.
Now I just need to find my libido so I'll actually use it again.
Now I just need to find my libido so I'll actually use it again.
Man, i love being able get medhu vada at the goldang *mall* of all places
January 23, 2026 at 9:53 PM
Man, i love being able get medhu vada at the goldang *mall* of all places
73%of New Yorkers' reputation for walking quickly is because we're holding it in. A legit life skill is knowing the cheapest item on the menu of a restaurant so you can get the bathroom code on your receipt.
Mayor Zohran Mamdani and City Council Speaker Julie Menin on Saturday announced an initiative to install more public bathrooms across the city.
January 11, 2026 at 8:26 PM
73%of New Yorkers' reputation for walking quickly is because we're holding it in. A legit life skill is knowing the cheapest item on the menu of a restaurant so you can get the bathroom code on your receipt.
Lukewarm take: it's okay to taste the vegetables in a salad instead of just straight dressing
January 11, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Lukewarm take: it's okay to taste the vegetables in a salad instead of just straight dressing
My Problem With Pop Culture is how heavily "the 90s" leans on Y2K-iMac-teen-pop touchstones instead of flannel-beige-new-jack-swing.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
January 10, 2026 at 5:56 PM
My Problem With Pop Culture is how heavily "the 90s" leans on Y2K-iMac-teen-pop touchstones instead of flannel-beige-new-jack-swing.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
Kids. Lawn. Off-get.
Reposted by Jay Tee Lan
This is not who we are. I became an ICE agent because I truly believed in the value of getting a $50,000 signing bonus to violently assault and terrorize anyone I wanted while never getting in trouble for anything. Being held accountable conflicts strongly with my deeply-held personal beliefs
January 7, 2026 at 10:15 PM
This is not who we are. I became an ICE agent because I truly believed in the value of getting a $50,000 signing bonus to violently assault and terrorize anyone I wanted while never getting in trouble for anything. Being held accountable conflicts strongly with my deeply-held personal beliefs
At last, a jackoff sleeve for dolphins!
Here’s their paper! www.mdpi.com/2077-1312/13...
www.mdpi.com
January 7, 2026 at 11:39 AM
At last, a jackoff sleeve for dolphins!
who are YouTube Playables for? who is actually out there scrolling their feed with too many damn Shorts and podcast clips and taking a sidebar to play some Cut The Rope or Drag Queen Makeover on goddamn *YouTube*?
January 4, 2026 at 11:12 PM
who are YouTube Playables for? who is actually out there scrolling their feed with too many damn Shorts and podcast clips and taking a sidebar to play some Cut The Rope or Drag Queen Makeover on goddamn *YouTube*?
Went to bed before midnight on NYE again even though my natural bedtime is usually around 1-2a. Hell yeah.
January 1, 2026 at 1:38 PM
Went to bed before midnight on NYE again even though my natural bedtime is usually around 1-2a. Hell yeah.
About a year ago, I converted one of my masala dabbas from Indian spices to ones I use in my typical cooking: fennel, coriander, Mexican oregano, chiltepines, star anise, cumin, bay leaf.
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
December 31, 2025 at 3:01 AM
About a year ago, I converted one of my masala dabbas from Indian spices to ones I use in my typical cooking: fennel, coriander, Mexican oregano, chiltepines, star anise, cumin, bay leaf.
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
Tonight, I converted my other dabba into a seasoning/finishing box (contents in the alt)
Sweet, I love waking up to fraudulent activity on my bank card.
December 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Sweet, I love waking up to fraudulent activity on my bank card.
Michael Cera sat at the table next to me and my now-husband on one of our first dates
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 30, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Michael Cera sat at the table next to me and my now-husband on one of our first dates
Adding this to my underappreciated vegetables series
#CruciferCrew
#CruciferCrew
For some of us, every year is the year of the cabbage. Please reply with the best cabbage dish you ate (restaurant or cooked at home) in 2025! www.businessinsider.com/year-of-the-...
2026 will be the year of the cabbage
High-fiber, cheap, and a vessel for flavor, the humble cabbage is popping up on menus and in Pinterest searches.
www.businessinsider.com
December 29, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Adding this to my underappreciated vegetables series
#CruciferCrew
#CruciferCrew
I used to lament the frustrations of being a bottom who's also an ass man, but it turns out I was just looking for my tribe.
December 28, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I used to lament the frustrations of being a bottom who's also an ass man, but it turns out I was just looking for my tribe.
Streaming is for convenience; it's just an open-ended rental. If you haven't downloaded a DRM-free digital file (or acquired physical media that can be ripped to make the same), you don't own shit.
December 27, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Streaming is for convenience; it's just an open-ended rental. If you haven't downloaded a DRM-free digital file (or acquired physical media that can be ripped to make the same), you don't own shit.
When you let all the blood drain out both of your brain cells into your dick at the same time
Reasons why I won't date beige men. I'm not your danger fantasy.
December 27, 2025 at 7:25 PM
When you let all the blood drain out both of your brain cells into your dick at the same time