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A. Parise

@jerseyoutwest.bsky.social

1.6K followers 1.4K following 8.5K posts

I like soup. Sci-fi writer. Data architect. BLM. ACAB includes AI. Plants, rocks, cats, occasional hiking pics. He/him. Located in sunny NE Portland, OR. Also I wrote this li’l thing: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CKXS61S

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A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 1h

That would be a stomachache for sure!

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 5h

Happy pepperman over here!

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

Acorn squash is great!

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

My ex was doing some weird diet that year and asked me to grow them, i did it only because she asked. There are so many better squash choices! I really like delicata i’m sad my seedlings failed this year :-/

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

I can’t fault them as being lazy producers but that is NOT a credit in my ledger after the year in question.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

Oh yes adaptive’s great too! I’ve gotten some wild stuff from them :)

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

Boooooooooooooooooooo 😢😢😢

But also… a blessing in disguise because you didnt have The Zucchini Problem 😹

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

Have you ever checked out Experimental Farm Network? They’re one of my fave sources for experiments/mistakes, i’m going to get my first skirret harvest this year from some plants i grew from their seeds.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 15h

Snack/sandwich peppers are great to have around. Shishitos are nice too, they are easy to make a fancy-feeling appetizer/snack out of and always produce very well for me, and they’re mostly nice and mild :)

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

I also have a “one zucchini mound” rule for very similar reasons 😹😹😹

Romanesco are great zucchini, but they are still zucchini and you only plant them for the moral victory of an assured harvest because zucchini will never ever fail lol

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

After that i will NEVER look at a spaghetti squash again, but i’m glad it happened, because when people say “Baker Creek’s politics suck but where else will i get these seeds” i can whip out that story and horrify them 😹😹😹😹

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

I have never, ever had so much of a problem getting rid of veggies. I got to the point that i made a goddamn spaghetti squash beer because it would get rid of three of them. My ex liked them… well, she did before i accidentally squashbombed us, and i was neutral, but…

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

Story time! One year, i decided to grow a lot of squash, and i made the mistake of ordering from Baker Creek, and even though i ordered four varieties of squash they were mislabeled and EVERY SINGLE ONE was spaghetti squash. I grew 37 goddamn spaghetti squash. Over 100 pounds.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

I am forever handing out jars of fermented peppers and hot sauce, i grow way more than i can use. They make nice gifts!

I highly recommend goat horns/rams horns if you want to branch out, they’re excellent producers and make beautiful fermented sandwich peppers, but are also tasty and sweet fresh.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

(My partner’s Guyanese and i get big points with my MIL by getting her proper peppersauce, which i apparently do, which i only know because she grilled me on how i made it lol)

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

Current plans are:

Chop and freeze the italians and sweets
Guyanese peppersauce with the bonnets and habaneros
Pickled jalapeno rings
Dry the longs, make Schezuan hot oil in a month or so
Fermented sandwich peppers with the goat horns and ajis

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

They were… too much lol.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

2023’s garden mistake 😹😹😹

A yellow, red, purple, and orange pepper growing from a plant. It is wrinkly and bumpy and hooked and was absolutely absurdly hot.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

Those are mushroom bonnets! I love those peppers. So good, and about the top end of what i can personally handle spice-wise. I wonder if i can find some pics of the experimental superhots, those were wild.

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 16h

Nothing hotter than scotch bonnets & habaneros — i learned my lesson the year i grew experimental superhots and still have a jar of homegrown, artisianal bear spray in my basement — but they’re plenty hot enough for me! :)

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 17h

Did a big harvest on the peppers today. Boy howdy do i have a lot of peppers, and there’s at least as many underripe ones on the plants still.

Two large pots filled with red and orange and brown peppers.

Reposted by A. Parise

Senator Ron Wyden @wyden.senate.gov · 1d

Congratulations to the happy couple

The Oregonian @oregonian.com · 1d

The couple in costumes said they wanted to bring joy to the protests and show that demonstrators are "fun loving people."

Unicorn bride marries Kenny from South Park at Portland ICE protest

The couple in costumes said they wanted to bring joy to the protests and show that demonstrators are "fun loving people."

www.oregonlive.com

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 1d

Literally nothing.

Followed me, they had no pfp, no posts, no reskeets, they followed 6000 other accounts. You sketchy AF, goodbye.

Clitasaurus Rex 🦖 @naiijah.bsky.social · 1d

what did the last person you blocked say to get blocked?

Reposted by A. Parise

Sheryl Gay Stolberg @sherylnyt.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: Friday night massacre underway at CDC. Doznes of "disease detectives," high-level scientists, entire Washington staff and editors of the MMWR (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report) have all been RIFed and received the following notice:

A. Parise @jerseyoutwest.bsky.social · 1d

Its related to sweet potatoes! Also very easy to grow from seed, as this one was. They’re fun plants :)