Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
@jesswhitecroft.bsky.social
Writes romance and horror. Sometimes combines the two in a horrible romance. Gluten-free. May contain nuts. No DMs, please, because the UK has determined I'm not adult enough to read them.
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
Spot Alan Moore in his 6th form Northampton Grammar School photo, taken two days before he was expelled
December 1, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Spot Alan Moore in his 6th form Northampton Grammar School photo, taken two days before he was expelled
You notice they're not mentioning his brain.
New — White House doctor's memo on Donald Trump’s recent MRI (which White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt just called “preventative").
The memo says Trump's cardiovascular and abdominal imaging is “perfectly normal" and that "he remains in excellent overall health."
The memo says Trump's cardiovascular and abdominal imaging is “perfectly normal" and that "he remains in excellent overall health."
December 1, 2025 at 7:20 PM
You notice they're not mentioning his brain.
New fash cross stitch pattern just dropped - Angry Old Man Confused About Why He's Taking a Shit on Camera. Stitch size: visible from space.
Christmas decorations at the White House, which were personally selected by first lady Melania Trump, aim to reflect the American spirit of generosity, patriotism and gratitude under the theme: "Home is Where the Heart Is." bit.ly/4pjksLW
📸: Anna Moneymaker, Getty Images
📸: Anna Moneymaker, Getty Images
December 1, 2025 at 4:19 PM
New fash cross stitch pattern just dropped - Angry Old Man Confused About Why He's Taking a Shit on Camera. Stitch size: visible from space.
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
This They Might Be Giants TONIGHT SHOW performance of "Birdhouse In Your Soul" from 1990 remains firmly lodged in my noggin thanks to the Tonight Show Band's full commitment and Doc Severinsen's incredible trumpeting... It took an already great song and made it transcendent.
August 23, 2025 at 8:44 AM
This They Might Be Giants TONIGHT SHOW performance of "Birdhouse In Your Soul" from 1990 remains firmly lodged in my noggin thanks to the Tonight Show Band's full commitment and Doc Severinsen's incredible trumpeting... It took an already great song and made it transcendent.
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
"Women naturally want to do womanly things because God created us with those womanly desires in our hearts."
December 1, 2025 at 5:36 AM
"Women naturally want to do womanly things because God created us with those womanly desires in our hearts."
I appreciate that at least one of these got slapped with an adult content warning.
December 1, 2025 at 12:44 PM
I appreciate that at least one of these got slapped with an adult content warning.
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
This year we're doing Whamutopia. Every time you hear Last Christmas you have to have a mulled wine at your earliest convenience and toast George Michael, because he was a lad
December 1, 2025 at 8:32 AM
This year we're doing Whamutopia. Every time you hear Last Christmas you have to have a mulled wine at your earliest convenience and toast George Michael, because he was a lad
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
And now for some of my very favourite Smol Paul moments in no particular order, starting with the first ever yeet
November 30, 2025 at 5:19 PM
And now for some of my very favourite Smol Paul moments in no particular order, starting with the first ever yeet
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
This was handed in for a PSYCH CLASS & when the prof said she didn't use empirical sources but rather submitted op-ed she whined about religious liberty + prof got suspended.
I was a *Religious Studies* major; in my time she would have been rightly BBQ'd had she dared to hand in this absolute drek.
I was a *Religious Studies* major; in my time she would have been rightly BBQ'd had she dared to hand in this absolute drek.
Turning Point at OU posted this girl's essay in full and man is it rough
November 30, 2025 at 10:31 PM
This was handed in for a PSYCH CLASS & when the prof said she didn't use empirical sources but rather submitted op-ed she whined about religious liberty + prof got suspended.
I was a *Religious Studies* major; in my time she would have been rightly BBQ'd had she dared to hand in this absolute drek.
I was a *Religious Studies* major; in my time she would have been rightly BBQ'd had she dared to hand in this absolute drek.
Lies. She just had a cat. And opinions.
Libra: Libra is on a holiday break, so please enjoy this Classic Sorrowscope from 1637: The Widow Jeffords is a witch! Take heed!!!
November 30, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Lies. She just had a cat. And opinions.
Imagine having to go on TV and pretend that Pete Hegseth isn't a bloodthirsty moron.
GOP Rep. Don Bacon: "I don't think Secretary Hegseth would be foolish enough to make this decision to say, 'Kill everybody. Kill the survivors,' because that's a clear violation of the law of war."
November 30, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Imagine having to go on TV and pretend that Pete Hegseth isn't a bloodthirsty moron.
These creatures can talk about eros when they start practising agape. Honestly. Sick of these fucking scrubs acting like they know the Bible from the hole in their arse.
“Sex must be civilized and civilizing”
The Christian right is *really* aching to get into your bedroom. They’ve flooded the zone with pseudoscience and moral panics around porn, but their real missionary position is to control sexuality like the old Catholic Church.
ifstudies.org/blog/the-pro...
The Christian right is *really* aching to get into your bedroom. They’ve flooded the zone with pseudoscience and moral panics around porn, but their real missionary position is to control sexuality like the old Catholic Church.
ifstudies.org/blog/the-pro...
November 30, 2025 at 6:04 PM
These creatures can talk about eros when they start practising agape. Honestly. Sick of these fucking scrubs acting like they know the Bible from the hole in their arse.
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
The best description of the Telegraph you'll read this week.
I just don't need to know what the Telegraph has written about Dungeons & Dragons. It's a newspaper for people who are frightened of samosas.
November 30, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The best description of the Telegraph you'll read this week.
One in three children in the UK are growing up in poverty.
The sheer scale of media outrage this week about plans to lift hundreds of thousands children out of poverty, by taxing millionaire homeowners, tells you everything you need to know about the real priorities of the British press
www.adambienkov.co.uk/p/the-real-b...
www.adambienkov.co.uk/p/the-real-b...
The Real 'Benefits Street' Protecting Britain's Wealthiest
The sheer scale of outrage about plans to lift children out of poverty, by taxing millionaire homeowners, tells you everything you need to know about the priorities of the British press
www.adambienkov.co.uk
November 30, 2025 at 10:15 AM
One in three children in the UK are growing up in poverty.
TBF he seems like kind of a crêpe.
France’s far-right leader hit by egg, days after flour attack
French far-right leader hit on the head with an egg
Jordan Bardella, leader of France’s far-right National Rally party, was hit on the head with an egg Saturday, just days after another incident in which a protester threw flour at him.
www.ctvnews.ca
November 30, 2025 at 9:29 AM
TBF he seems like kind of a crêpe.
My feet and my brain feel like they're trying to work out which hates me the most right now. And my lower spine is eagerly chiming in on the shittalk.
November 29, 2025 at 10:22 PM
My feet and my brain feel like they're trying to work out which hates me the most right now. And my lower spine is eagerly chiming in on the shittalk.
I do enjoy his baseball bat thing, but I think if he wants to get really serious he should hammer a bunch of nails into it. You know. For those who need it.
November 29, 2025 at 9:03 PM
I do enjoy his baseball bat thing, but I think if he wants to get really serious he should hammer a bunch of nails into it. You know. For those who need it.
Unseasoned, basic, dry, totally lacking in taste. And don't even get me started on the food.
Karoline Leavitt's Thanksgiving spread. Please dissect.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...
November 29, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Unseasoned, basic, dry, totally lacking in taste. And don't even get me started on the food.
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
A story Stoppard told several times, in several places:
November 29, 2025 at 6:10 PM
A story Stoppard told several times, in several places:
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
Quokkas can’t juggle but they do enjoy watching
November 29, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Quokkas can’t juggle but they do enjoy watching
Reposted by Jess Whitecroft (she/her)
Just over 600 more signatures to get to 100k. Please consider signing if you're eligible, or sharing if you're not.
Let's try to shine a light on the traitors!
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/74...
Let's try to shine a light on the traitors!
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/74...
Petition: Call a public inquiry into Russian influence on UK politics & democracy
We are concerned about reported efforts from Russia to influence democracy in the US, UK, Europe and elsewhere. We believe we must establish the depth and breadth of possible Russian influence campaig...
petition.parliament.uk
November 29, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Just over 600 more signatures to get to 100k. Please consider signing if you're eligible, or sharing if you're not.
Let's try to shine a light on the traitors!
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/74...
Let's try to shine a light on the traitors!
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/74...
Look, I know how when the going gets tough the tough tend to turn into the People's Front of Judea, but there's absolutely no reason to go this hard.
Zarah Sultana boycotts first day of Your Party conference over 'witch hunt' expulsions
Zarah Sultana boycotts first day of Your Party conference over 'witch hunt' expulsions
Zarah Sultana has boycotted day one of the Your Party Conference over the expulsion of members of left-wing groups.
news.sky.com
November 29, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Look, I know how when the going gets tough the tough tend to turn into the People's Front of Judea, but there's absolutely no reason to go this hard.
Still have to frost a birthday cake, too. I need a nap.
November 29, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Still have to frost a birthday cake, too. I need a nap.
I KNOW, I KNOW, I MADE SHIT MACARONS. NOW TELL ME USEFUL THINGS TO DO WITH THEIR SHITTY CORPSES INSTEAD OF YELLING AT ME UNTIL I AM INSPIRED TO DO SOMETHING IMMODERATE AND TURN MY RECYCLING BIN INTO A MACARON NGANGA. IT'S FUELLED BY SPITE AND PROTEIN AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT.
November 29, 2025 at 2:42 PM
I KNOW, I KNOW, I MADE SHIT MACARONS. NOW TELL ME USEFUL THINGS TO DO WITH THEIR SHITTY CORPSES INSTEAD OF YELLING AT ME UNTIL I AM INSPIRED TO DO SOMETHING IMMODERATE AND TURN MY RECYCLING BIN INTO A MACARON NGANGA. IT'S FUELLED BY SPITE AND PROTEIN AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT.