Lord Rat Squirt
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lordratsquirt.bsky.social
Lord Rat Squirt
@lordratsquirt.bsky.social
Screenwriter/co-creator/showrunner for the upcoming TLC series What the F*** is this S***? and Lifetime Network's Pet Waste Makeover. 🇺🇦
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
Don't let the bastards get you down, use the bastards' own body weight against them
December 15, 2025 at 9:56 PM
There's no such thing as a consensus...everybody knows that.
December 15, 2025 at 12:15 PM
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Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
December 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
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December 15, 2025 at 5:44 AM
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BREAKING

Two people have been found dead at the home of director and actor Rob Reiner.

The LA Fire Department said the ages of the two victims is 78 and 68 which matches the ages of Rob and his wife Michele.

Full Story: bit.ly/497DhMd
December 15, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Organs are like little weirdos that live in our bodies. Frankly, I don't feel comfortable about that.
December 14, 2025 at 2:08 PM
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Think I have job poisoning
December 13, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I expel feces from bowels. AITA?
December 13, 2025 at 3:44 PM
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rain or shine, my windshield wipers are always on full speed as a threat display
December 12, 2025 at 6:46 PM
I don’t have an arthropod fetish, but I’d be lying if I said a trilobite’s thorax doesn’t stir something primordial.
December 12, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Shit yourself. Right now! There's no stopping us if we all do it together! Keep America strong!
December 12, 2025 at 1:44 AM
In the grand vision of AI supremacy, humanity’s just a basket of trembling, delicious puppies.
December 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
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I put the 'cum' in 'vacuum'.

Also, my vacuum is broken.
December 10, 2025 at 4:39 PM
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A pox is one thing but on my head? Damn.
December 11, 2025 at 3:40 AM
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someone should really just try punching The Joker in his nards one time. See if that calms his ass down for a second.
December 11, 2025 at 3:45 AM
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Normalize not pretending that you care if squirt is piss
December 11, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Sorry, Hollywood: my ass is "offer only".
December 11, 2025 at 3:04 AM
If you show fear, it’s all over. That’s why I’m terrified of fear.
December 10, 2025 at 1:24 PM
No shit, Sherlock. Watson's chest will have to wait until you solve the mystery, sir.
December 10, 2025 at 2:53 AM
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When cartoon characters discuss numbers in base ten rather than base eight, it takes me completely out of my suspension of disbelief. Their society would not have developed that way.
December 9, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? And who cares.
December 9, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Let's sit in my Wrangler, converse, and sip Darjeeling. A chat Jeepy tea, if you will.
December 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Aliens: Invent some kind of rudimentary landing gear to prevent embarrassing crop circles.
December 7, 2025 at 2:03 PM
I've never eaten sushi off a naked woman, but I once ate Chef Boyardee ravioli off my hairy belly.
December 6, 2025 at 11:37 PM
You can always tell if a house was built in the '70s by the untrimmed bush in front.
December 6, 2025 at 3:04 PM