Lord Rat Squirt
@lordratsquirt.bsky.social
Screenwriter/co-creator/showrunner for the upcoming TLC series What the F*** is this S***? and Lifetime Network's Pet Waste Makeover. 🇺🇦
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
Don't let the bastards get you down, use the bastards' own body weight against them
December 15, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Don't let the bastards get you down, use the bastards' own body weight against them
There's no such thing as a consensus...everybody knows that.
December 15, 2025 at 12:15 PM
There's no such thing as a consensus...everybody knows that.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
December 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
BREAKING
Two people have been found dead at the home of director and actor Rob Reiner.
The LA Fire Department said the ages of the two victims is 78 and 68 which matches the ages of Rob and his wife Michele.
Full Story: bit.ly/497DhMd
Two people have been found dead at the home of director and actor Rob Reiner.
The LA Fire Department said the ages of the two victims is 78 and 68 which matches the ages of Rob and his wife Michele.
Full Story: bit.ly/497DhMd
December 15, 2025 at 2:08 AM
BREAKING
Two people have been found dead at the home of director and actor Rob Reiner.
The LA Fire Department said the ages of the two victims is 78 and 68 which matches the ages of Rob and his wife Michele.
Full Story: bit.ly/497DhMd
Two people have been found dead at the home of director and actor Rob Reiner.
The LA Fire Department said the ages of the two victims is 78 and 68 which matches the ages of Rob and his wife Michele.
Full Story: bit.ly/497DhMd
Organs are like little weirdos that live in our bodies. Frankly, I don't feel comfortable about that.
December 14, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Organs are like little weirdos that live in our bodies. Frankly, I don't feel comfortable about that.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
Think I have job poisoning
December 13, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Think I have job poisoning
I expel feces from bowels. AITA?
December 13, 2025 at 3:44 PM
I expel feces from bowels. AITA?
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
rain or shine, my windshield wipers are always on full speed as a threat display
December 12, 2025 at 6:46 PM
rain or shine, my windshield wipers are always on full speed as a threat display
I don’t have an arthropod fetish, but I’d be lying if I said a trilobite’s thorax doesn’t stir something primordial.
December 12, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I don’t have an arthropod fetish, but I’d be lying if I said a trilobite’s thorax doesn’t stir something primordial.
Shit yourself. Right now! There's no stopping us if we all do it together! Keep America strong!
December 12, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Shit yourself. Right now! There's no stopping us if we all do it together! Keep America strong!
In the grand vision of AI supremacy, humanity’s just a basket of trembling, delicious puppies.
December 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
In the grand vision of AI supremacy, humanity’s just a basket of trembling, delicious puppies.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
I put the 'cum' in 'vacuum'.
Also, my vacuum is broken.
Also, my vacuum is broken.
December 10, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I put the 'cum' in 'vacuum'.
Also, my vacuum is broken.
Also, my vacuum is broken.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
A pox is one thing but on my head? Damn.
December 11, 2025 at 3:40 AM
A pox is one thing but on my head? Damn.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
someone should really just try punching The Joker in his nards one time. See if that calms his ass down for a second.
December 11, 2025 at 3:45 AM
someone should really just try punching The Joker in his nards one time. See if that calms his ass down for a second.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
Normalize not pretending that you care if squirt is piss
December 11, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Normalize not pretending that you care if squirt is piss
Sorry, Hollywood: my ass is "offer only".
December 11, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Sorry, Hollywood: my ass is "offer only".
If you show fear, it’s all over. That’s why I’m terrified of fear.
December 10, 2025 at 1:24 PM
If you show fear, it’s all over. That’s why I’m terrified of fear.
No shit, Sherlock. Watson's chest will have to wait until you solve the mystery, sir.
December 10, 2025 at 2:53 AM
No shit, Sherlock. Watson's chest will have to wait until you solve the mystery, sir.
Reposted by Lord Rat Squirt
When cartoon characters discuss numbers in base ten rather than base eight, it takes me completely out of my suspension of disbelief. Their society would not have developed that way.
December 9, 2025 at 9:21 PM
When cartoon characters discuss numbers in base ten rather than base eight, it takes me completely out of my suspension of disbelief. Their society would not have developed that way.
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? And who cares.
December 9, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? And who cares.
Let's sit in my Wrangler, converse, and sip Darjeeling. A chat Jeepy tea, if you will.
December 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Let's sit in my Wrangler, converse, and sip Darjeeling. A chat Jeepy tea, if you will.
Aliens: Invent some kind of rudimentary landing gear to prevent embarrassing crop circles.
December 7, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Aliens: Invent some kind of rudimentary landing gear to prevent embarrassing crop circles.
I've never eaten sushi off a naked woman, but I once ate Chef Boyardee ravioli off my hairy belly.
December 6, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I've never eaten sushi off a naked woman, but I once ate Chef Boyardee ravioli off my hairy belly.
You can always tell if a house was built in the '70s by the untrimmed bush in front.
December 6, 2025 at 3:04 PM
You can always tell if a house was built in the '70s by the untrimmed bush in front.