Mari Cohn
@maricohn.bsky.social
Your least favorite drag queen’s least favorite drag queen
Writer by day
📍San Francisco 🌁
Argentinean 🇦🇷
Eat the rich 🌹
Free Palestine 🇵🇸
Be gay, do crime
Writer by day
📍San Francisco 🌁
Argentinean 🇦🇷
Eat the rich 🌹
Free Palestine 🇵🇸
Be gay, do crime
Pinned
Mari Cohn
@maricohn.bsky.social
· Sep 9
Things said at my D&D table with no context, a thread:
*bonk* “Why is there a newt in a forcecage!?”
*bonk* “Why is there a newt in a forcecage!?”
This lipless Nazi’s name is Tatum King. He was the ICE Homeland Security Investigations San Francisco Special Agent in Charge and was promoted last year to Acting Assistant Director of Domestic Operations.
Boo him if you see him in public.
Boo him if you see him in public.
January 20, 2026 at 7:32 AM
This lipless Nazi’s name is Tatum King. He was the ICE Homeland Security Investigations San Francisco Special Agent in Charge and was promoted last year to Acting Assistant Director of Domestic Operations.
Boo him if you see him in public.
Boo him if you see him in public.
When it happens, they’ll have to bury him at sea, because I will take every opportunity to shit on his grave.
January 20, 2026 at 6:50 AM
When it happens, they’ll have to bury him at sea, because I will take every opportunity to shit on his grave.
Is affordability important? Yes, of course.
But every Democrat tweeting about affordability like it’s the most urgent thing at the moment WHEN THEYRE SHOOTING US IN THE FUCKING FACE needs to log the fuck off and get out of the way.
But every Democrat tweeting about affordability like it’s the most urgent thing at the moment WHEN THEYRE SHOOTING US IN THE FUCKING FACE needs to log the fuck off and get out of the way.
January 19, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Is affordability important? Yes, of course.
But every Democrat tweeting about affordability like it’s the most urgent thing at the moment WHEN THEYRE SHOOTING US IN THE FUCKING FACE needs to log the fuck off and get out of the way.
But every Democrat tweeting about affordability like it’s the most urgent thing at the moment WHEN THEYRE SHOOTING US IN THE FUCKING FACE needs to log the fuck off and get out of the way.
Random thought but I’m not going to be able to emotionally handle it when Carol Burnett eventually leaves this world. I simply won’t have it in me.
January 19, 2026 at 8:04 AM
Random thought but I’m not going to be able to emotionally handle it when Carol Burnett eventually leaves this world. I simply won’t have it in me.
Reposted by Mari Cohn
Reposted by Mari Cohn
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
There’s a joke I used to tell when I was a reporter. I’d tell someone I have a Pulitzer Prize.
They’d say “You won a Pulitzer!?”
I’d say “Oh no I *have* a Pulitzer…which I stole…from Ronan Farrow’s house.”
Anyway that’s the energy MAGA is giving off when they claim Trump has a Nobel Peace Prize.
They’d say “You won a Pulitzer!?”
I’d say “Oh no I *have* a Pulitzer…which I stole…from Ronan Farrow’s house.”
Anyway that’s the energy MAGA is giving off when they claim Trump has a Nobel Peace Prize.
January 17, 2026 at 11:06 PM
There’s a joke I used to tell when I was a reporter. I’d tell someone I have a Pulitzer Prize.
They’d say “You won a Pulitzer!?”
I’d say “Oh no I *have* a Pulitzer…which I stole…from Ronan Farrow’s house.”
Anyway that’s the energy MAGA is giving off when they claim Trump has a Nobel Peace Prize.
They’d say “You won a Pulitzer!?”
I’d say “Oh no I *have* a Pulitzer…which I stole…from Ronan Farrow’s house.”
Anyway that’s the energy MAGA is giving off when they claim Trump has a Nobel Peace Prize.
I need $30,000 and a forehead kiss
January 17, 2026 at 7:36 PM
I need $30,000 and a forehead kiss
I’ve said some pretty mean things in the comments of Nancy Mace’s Instagram posts, and I really regret what I’ve said.
I could have been meaner.
I could have been meaner.
January 17, 2026 at 2:52 AM
I’ve said some pretty mean things in the comments of Nancy Mace’s Instagram posts, and I really regret what I’ve said.
I could have been meaner.
I could have been meaner.
Reposted by Mari Cohn
mighta been something to the "don't give him an excuse" stuff in trump's first term but it's clear now when he wants to see something he just makes it so. he's the showrunner of the news. head of the executive producer branch. when he wanted to see boats blow up he didn't wait for them to act unruly
January 17, 2026 at 12:31 AM
mighta been something to the "don't give him an excuse" stuff in trump's first term but it's clear now when he wants to see something he just makes it so. he's the showrunner of the news. head of the executive producer branch. when he wanted to see boats blow up he didn't wait for them to act unruly
Look if I can’t have been the one to comment on Hockey Butt Sluts on @extrahotgreat.com I’m glad it was @pizzakari.bsky.social
January 16, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Look if I can’t have been the one to comment on Hockey Butt Sluts on @extrahotgreat.com I’m glad it was @pizzakari.bsky.social
I love my city and hate my mayor. He keeps saying we’re a “city on the rise” but he means only for millionaires and billionaires.
Lurie is building a San Francisco where Waymo, Blackstone, and Marc Benioff can thrive and nobody else.
Lurie is building a San Francisco where Waymo, Blackstone, and Marc Benioff can thrive and nobody else.
January 16, 2026 at 7:47 PM
I love my city and hate my mayor. He keeps saying we’re a “city on the rise” but he means only for millionaires and billionaires.
Lurie is building a San Francisco where Waymo, Blackstone, and Marc Benioff can thrive and nobody else.
Lurie is building a San Francisco where Waymo, Blackstone, and Marc Benioff can thrive and nobody else.
There’s a throwaway joke I think about once a week.
In an episode of the show Trophy Wife, someone mentions Robert Downey Junior, to which Michaela Watkins’s character responds, “ROBERT DOWNEY HAS A SON!?”
In an episode of the show Trophy Wife, someone mentions Robert Downey Junior, to which Michaela Watkins’s character responds, “ROBERT DOWNEY HAS A SON!?”
January 16, 2026 at 6:31 PM
There’s a throwaway joke I think about once a week.
In an episode of the show Trophy Wife, someone mentions Robert Downey Junior, to which Michaela Watkins’s character responds, “ROBERT DOWNEY HAS A SON!?”
In an episode of the show Trophy Wife, someone mentions Robert Downey Junior, to which Michaela Watkins’s character responds, “ROBERT DOWNEY HAS A SON!?”
Live, Laugh, Lie to the Cops 💖
January 16, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Live, Laugh, Lie to the Cops 💖
I kinda wish I hadn’t blocked that turd so I could send him this
January 16, 2026 at 8:07 AM
I kinda wish I hadn’t blocked that turd so I could send him this
Reposted by Mari Cohn
The energy the base wants is less proclamation of amnesty and more Sherman’s March to the Sea.
January 15, 2026 at 6:38 PM
The energy the base wants is less proclamation of amnesty and more Sherman’s March to the Sea.
It’s not an exaggeration to say the US government is openly in a civil war against its own people.
January 15, 2026 at 6:00 AM
It’s not an exaggeration to say the US government is openly in a civil war against its own people.
Despite the federal government actively trying to kill people like me and my own desire to no longer exist in this timeline, I am planning to be here for a very, very long time.
I just submitted my articles of organization for my LLC ☺️ hoping to open up my bar this year
January 15, 2026 at 1:57 AM
Despite the federal government actively trying to kill people like me and my own desire to no longer exist in this timeline, I am planning to be here for a very, very long time.
My life before Heated Rivalry is starting to feel like a distant memory
January 15, 2026 at 12:38 AM
My life before Heated Rivalry is starting to feel like a distant memory
Democrats: “We’re the good guys. We can’t just ‘do stuff.’”
Socialists 2 weeks into taking office:
Socialists 2 weeks into taking office:
Last week, we announced a plan to make child care universal. Today, applications are open for pre-K & 3-K. If your child is turning 3 or 4, apply now for the fall at: myschools.nyc
January 14, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Democrats: “We’re the good guys. We can’t just ‘do stuff.’”
Socialists 2 weeks into taking office:
Socialists 2 weeks into taking office:
I just submitted my articles of organization for my LLC ☺️ hoping to open up my bar this year
January 14, 2026 at 11:05 PM
I just submitted my articles of organization for my LLC ☺️ hoping to open up my bar this year
A rare glimpse of me out of drag doing what I do best: comparing strangers’ shitty ex-boyfriends to DND classes
January 14, 2026 at 5:45 AM
A rare glimpse of me out of drag doing what I do best: comparing strangers’ shitty ex-boyfriends to DND classes
Reposted by Mari Cohn
The president said "Fuck you" to a citizen and only the citizen will face any consequences
UPDATE: TJ Sabula, the worker who shouted "pedophile protector" at Trump, has been suspended - WaPo
WATCH: Trump shows his middle finger and appears to say "fuck you" after Ford worker yells "pedophile protector" - TMZ
January 14, 2026 at 2:59 AM
The president said "Fuck you" to a citizen and only the citizen will face any consequences
Reposted by Mari Cohn
I hope Hudson and Connor never go through PR training. Ever.
January 13, 2026 at 5:02 AM
I hope Hudson and Connor never go through PR training. Ever.