Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social
Comedian and maker of nonsense.
Pinned
Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social
· Nov 14
Okay Bluesky, this is the greatest thing I have ever made and now it’s here for you. Mr Blobby in the Virtual Insanity video.
Veronica, I know we’ve had some marital issues of late but I have decided to run for Mayor of New York City.
January 31, 2026 at 6:41 PM
Veronica, I know we’ve had some marital issues of late but I have decided to run for Mayor of New York City.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
January 30, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
January 27, 2026 at 4:24 PM
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
Ahhh man. Catherine O’Hara 😔 What an absolute talent. Just stole every minute she was on screen and seemed to still be getting better and funnier every year. 💔
January 30, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Ahhh man. Catherine O’Hara 😔 What an absolute talent. Just stole every minute she was on screen and seemed to still be getting better and funnier every year. 💔
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
January 30, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
One of the most frustrating byproducts of AI is now everything you make someone will dismiss as if you haven’t put effort in. Because they never have. As if all creative endeavour is a kind of afterthought. The fact posts now has to have not AI or I actually made this just sucks.
January 30, 2026 at 3:30 PM
One of the most frustrating byproducts of AI is now everything you make someone will dismiss as if you haven’t put effort in. Because they never have. As if all creative endeavour is a kind of afterthought. The fact posts now has to have not AI or I actually made this just sucks.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing
January 30, 2026 at 9:42 AM
january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing
Okay thumb, brain here. We’re gonna type out this message. You’re confident you know where the right letters are and can hit them?
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
January 30, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Okay thumb, brain here. We’re gonna type out this message. You’re confident you know where the right letters are and can hit them?
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social Heheh, thankyou for what you've started.
January 29, 2026 at 1:04 PM
@matthighton.bsky.social Heheh, thankyou for what you've started.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
From the man who brought you that meme…
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
January 29, 2026 at 1:14 PM
From the man who brought you that meme…
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
He cometh… Misty morning on the marsh.
January 29, 2026 at 10:15 AM
He cometh… Misty morning on the marsh.
It’s one of those days. Time to reshare the dumbest thing I’ve ever made. Here’s the first level of Super Mario Bros. but all the sound effects are farts. Enjoy.
January 28, 2026 at 9:16 PM
It’s one of those days. Time to reshare the dumbest thing I’ve ever made. Here’s the first level of Super Mario Bros. but all the sound effects are farts. Enjoy.
This has gone so ridiculously viral in multiple places. You better believe I’m annoyed I forgot to watermark it 😂 Glad you’re all enjoying it and thanks to you who keep tagging me in places for credit. The main thing is it’s giving people a giggle. You’re all great*
*most of you are great
*most of you are great
January 28, 2026 at 8:00 PM
This has gone so ridiculously viral in multiple places. You better believe I’m annoyed I forgot to watermark it 😂 Glad you’re all enjoying it and thanks to you who keep tagging me in places for credit. The main thing is it’s giving people a giggle. You’re all great*
*most of you are great
*most of you are great
Reposted by Matthew Highton
This is art
January 28, 2026 at 3:42 PM
This is art
Wife: is his nose still runny?
Me:
Me:
January 28, 2026 at 12:23 PM
Wife: is his nose still runny?
Me:
Me:
It was all innocent everyone. Please be nice. Let’s not turn into the other place ❤️
I was genuinely unaware and got sent just the image by a friend (and them unsure where it came from), and so I just threw it up on a lark before I went to bed (and didnt expect itd explode).
I am really really sorry about this Matthew. I'll link your original skeet right now.
I am really really sorry about this Matthew. I'll link your original skeet right now.
January 28, 2026 at 11:11 AM
It was all innocent everyone. Please be nice. Let’s not turn into the other place ❤️
Reposted by Matthew Highton
with alt-text:
January 28, 2026 at 10:57 AM
with alt-text:
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Featuring: @waltydunlop.bsky.social @johnrain.co.uk @real-meaning.bsky.social @ofalafel.bsky.social @frovo.bsky.social @matthighton.bsky.social @ofadam.com @alistaircoleman.bsky.social and @markhamillofficial.bsky.social
Many thanks.
Many thanks.
a cat is standing on its hind legs and giving a thumbs up .
Alt: a cat is standing on its hind legs and giving a thumbs up .
media.tenor.com
January 28, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Bon Mot Podcast with Matthew Highton
Podcast Episode · Bon Mot Podcast · 28/01/2026 · 1h 15m
podcasts.apple.com
January 28, 2026 at 9:14 AM
Reposted by Matthew Highton
I think at this point the UK has accepted Paddington as the Death Bear, collector of souls. So, I think as a nation we should start smearing marmalade on the eyes of the dead and whisper “fare for the crossing”. It’ll feel weird now but, in three of four generations, no one will question it.
January 26, 2026 at 11:36 AM
I think at this point the UK has accepted Paddington as the Death Bear, collector of souls. So, I think as a nation we should start smearing marmalade on the eyes of the dead and whisper “fare for the crossing”. It’ll feel weird now but, in three of four generations, no one will question it.
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
January 27, 2026 at 4:24 PM
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Four fictional characters who would definitely defect to Reform
January 27, 2026 at 10:13 AM
Four fictional characters who would definitely defect to Reform
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Four fictional characters who would definitely defect to Reform.
January 27, 2026 at 10:13 AM
Four fictional characters who would definitely defect to Reform.
This photo I took years ago on a rainy London night popped up and I thought I’d share it.
January 27, 2026 at 10:17 AM
This photo I took years ago on a rainy London night popped up and I thought I’d share it.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.