Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social
Comedian and maker of nonsense.
Pinned
Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social
· Nov 14
Okay Bluesky, this is the greatest thing I have ever made and now it’s here for you. Mr Blobby in the Virtual Insanity video.
Here’s that wholesome episode of Teletubbies where Pennywise visits.
February 4, 2026 at 4:50 PM
Here’s that wholesome episode of Teletubbies where Pennywise visits.
Person in charge of the office fire alarm test:
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Hold...
Hold...
Not yet...
*everyone starts to get up and walk out
STOP!
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Hold...
Hold...
Not yet...
*everyone starts to get up and walk out
STOP!
February 4, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Person in charge of the office fire alarm test:
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Hold...
Hold...
Not yet...
*everyone starts to get up and walk out
STOP!
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Hold...
Hold...
Not yet...
*everyone starts to get up and walk out
STOP!
Reposted by Matthew Highton
There's something very wrong with Matthew
Timeline break: Here's the Dolmio Family doing the "funny how" scene from Goodfellas.
February 4, 2026 at 12:02 PM
There's something very wrong with Matthew
Timeline break: Here's the Dolmio Family doing the "funny how" scene from Goodfellas.
February 4, 2026 at 11:57 AM
Timeline break: Here's the Dolmio Family doing the "funny how" scene from Goodfellas.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
A story in three parts
October 16, 2025 at 3:33 PM
A story in three parts
Genuinely think the iPhone weather app gets you through winter by always promising snow less than a week away but when you get near it goes “actually it was just cold rain. But honestly next week. I swear.”
February 3, 2026 at 11:57 PM
Genuinely think the iPhone weather app gets you through winter by always promising snow less than a week away but when you get near it goes “actually it was just cold rain. But honestly next week. I swear.”
“With all six Stones, I could simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist. If I clap half of them become monkeys, but in people clothes. If I tap. Double people. And if I fart, half the planet farts, but on the same side and so it goes slowly towards the sun. I call that stinky mercy.”
February 3, 2026 at 8:17 PM
“With all six Stones, I could simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist. If I clap half of them become monkeys, but in people clothes. If I tap. Double people. And if I fart, half the planet farts, but on the same side and so it goes slowly towards the sun. I call that stinky mercy.”
Reposted by Matthew Highton
The Room Next Door - Donald Trump and the New Guy
Only on YouTube.
Only on YouTube.
The Room Next Door - Donald Trump and the New Guy
YouTube video by Michael Spicer
youtu.be
February 2, 2026 at 8:25 AM
The Room Next Door - Donald Trump and the New Guy
Only on YouTube.
Only on YouTube.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Peter Mandelson will return in... AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY
February 3, 2026 at 3:12 PM
Peter Mandelson will return in... AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY
Reposted by Matthew Highton
BREAKING: Viewers of “Melania” Documentary Receive Call Telling Them They Will Die in 7 Days
February 3, 2026 at 7:02 AM
BREAKING: Viewers of “Melania” Documentary Receive Call Telling Them They Will Die in 7 Days
Breaking: The number 1 detective in Paris has been dispatched to Elon Musk's offices.
February 3, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Breaking: The number 1 detective in Paris has been dispatched to Elon Musk's offices.
Nigel Farage is gonna cut pint prices by 5p. Finally a pint for under £9.40 in central London!
February 3, 2026 at 11:50 AM
Nigel Farage is gonna cut pint prices by 5p. Finally a pint for under £9.40 in central London!
Weird we all grew up and stopped celebrating Opposite Day.
February 1, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Weird we all grew up and stopped celebrating Opposite Day.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Coming out of January like:
February 1, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Coming out of January like:
Coming out of January like:
an old man with a beard and a crown on his head .
ALT: an old man with a beard and a crown on his head .
media.tenor.com
February 1, 2026 at 9:55 AM
Coming out of January like:
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
January 30, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
January 27, 2026 at 4:24 PM
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
Ahhh man. Catherine O’Hara 😔 What an absolute talent. Just stole every minute she was on screen and seemed to still be getting better and funnier every year. 💔
January 30, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Ahhh man. Catherine O’Hara 😔 What an absolute talent. Just stole every minute she was on screen and seemed to still be getting better and funnier every year. 💔
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
January 30, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the last Dúnedain and Isildur's heir.
One of the most frustrating byproducts of AI is now everything you make someone will dismiss as if you haven’t put effort in. Because they never have. As if all creative endeavour is a kind of afterthought. The fact posts now has to have not AI or I actually made this just sucks.
January 30, 2026 at 3:30 PM
One of the most frustrating byproducts of AI is now everything you make someone will dismiss as if you haven’t put effort in. Because they never have. As if all creative endeavour is a kind of afterthought. The fact posts now has to have not AI or I actually made this just sucks.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing
January 30, 2026 at 9:42 AM
january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing
Okay thumb, brain here. We’re gonna type out this message. You’re confident you know where the right letters are and can hit them?
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
January 30, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Okay thumb, brain here. We’re gonna type out this message. You’re confident you know where the right letters are and can hit them?
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
Ansolutey just stat dictatong. I gut this.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social Heheh, thankyou for what you've started.
January 29, 2026 at 1:04 PM
@matthighton.bsky.social Heheh, thankyou for what you've started.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
From the man who brought you that meme…
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
January 29, 2026 at 1:14 PM
From the man who brought you that meme…
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...
My interview with @matthighton.bsky.social is out now, enjoy…
shows.acast.com/bonmotpodcas...