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mom mom mom mom mom

@momsoverhere.bsky.social

3.9K followers 600 following 630 posts

Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Check out my children's book “We Only Color on Paper!” Formerly of Twitter @notmythirdrodeo and IG @momsoverhere Only my posts- bit.ly/momsoverhere

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Nov 30

It’s time to put up the Christmas tree with my kids. I’m going to take some meds, get a coffee, and be ready to watch it burn - A thread

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One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom.bsky.social · 11d

I’m out of town and 7yo FaceTimed me to tell me that he wiped his butt too hard. It hurts now and he’s asking me how to make it feel better, if you’re wondering what it’s like to be the default parent.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 11d

It's beautiful watching a teen remember who they were before a phone. Like a wet, newborn foal stumbling into the living room-knock kneed and bumbling.

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 15d

I guess that’s the silver lining

mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 16d

I warned my son that he could not say “I’m bored” during Rosh Hashanah services today. About ten minutes in, he leaned on my shoulder and whispers “I’m un-entertained”

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 21d

Ok, but now I need to know if they spoke to everyone else and the other states said no…
Maryland usually gets lumped in with the Northeast designation

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Adam @adamgreat.bsky.social · 21d

american democracy right now

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One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom.bsky.social · 21d

‘Mommy look, a bone! Just like we have in our bodies.’

-my 4 year old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots.

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Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 21d

Cranada. like Canada but a little more tart.

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 25d

Sharp as a tack

mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 25d

My kid buys a toy vending machine and exclaims “it doesn’t take any money!” and then mutters “that’s not a very good business model.”

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Sep 6

You know those Highlights “circle what’s wrong” pictures? I’m about to take a pic of my kids’ bathroom counter and hand one a pen.

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Late to the party Laura @latetopartylaura.bsky.social · Aug 31

Miss 11: Get out of the way.
Me:
11: In a nice way.

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · Aug 31

I only wear cargo shorts because i can fit a Rotisserie Chicken into each pocket

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · Aug 21

I always knew I would end up on my own like Carrie Bradshaw, single in heels

My husband: Hey, I am not dead yet!

Me: Oh, that reminds me, I got you a Peloton

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · Aug 20

My signature move is writing “please see attached” and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached.

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · Aug 27

I hate it when people hog the 5 lb weights at the gym like c’mon Brenda I’m trying to get ripped here

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · Aug 27

and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling kids

Picture of cemetery with headline reading “Man fined for pretending to be ghost in Portsmouth cemetery.”

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RealLifeMommy3 @reallifemommy3.bsky.social · Aug 29

I’m a marriage, kids, a mortgage and a serious job into this thing and I still wonder who the grown up looking person is in the mirror when I get dressed for work

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 27

I was talking to a new doc last week and giving my medical history and I said I had aphasia, and she raised an eyebrow and asked to clarify. I realized I meant dysphagia, but she failed to see the irony in my mistake

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 25

Kid 1 is playing pretend with a toy campfire set; he cut up a log and placed four pieces in a frame and placed the flames in the center. Kid 2 went to scout camp this summer, so I asked, “Kid 2, any tips for Kid 1 as he builds the fire?”

“Yeah,” says Kid 2, “Don’t put your hands in the fire”

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 24

Great question, hopefully someone more motivated than us can find out and share

mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 21

I asked my kid what he’d like to wear for the first day of school.

“Um, I think…the picnic table shirt.”

Gingham, he chose a gingham patterned button down

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 12

Shit. My fairy gives out $2 bills. Electronic $2 just doesn’t have the same vibe as I seemingly have trapped myself into.

mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 12

They tell you a kid will lose their teeth when it’s time. But the longer you wait, the more time they have to boobytrap their bedroom to make the tooth fairy’s job like mission impossible

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · Aug 4

Can someone help me understand how Texas House members don’t have a quorum to pass their gerrymandering new districts, but are able to pass legislation that allows them to arrest those that left the state to prevent a quorum?

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