RealLifeMommy3
@reallifemommy3.bsky.social
3 kids, 1 dog, and a full time job. What could possibly go wrong?! posts are mine ➡️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:am4xjbphjjv7zy5riv7gbfr3/feed/aaacwhjhkazly
Pinned
Dentist: have you been clenching your jaw lately?
Me: have you been reading the news lately?
Me: have you been reading the news lately?
I don’t care what thread count your sheets are, if they don’t have a “top/bottom” label they’re not classy enough for me
November 19, 2025 at 11:46 AM
I don’t care what thread count your sheets are, if they don’t have a “top/bottom” label they’re not classy enough for me
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My Thanksgiving plan is to eat semi responsibly until the dessert comes out and I lose all dignity.
November 18, 2025 at 6:02 PM
My Thanksgiving plan is to eat semi responsibly until the dessert comes out and I lose all dignity.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Start marinating your liver now if you want to be ready in time for holidays with your family
November 18, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Start marinating your liver now if you want to be ready in time for holidays with your family
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
[my gf on her death bed]
idk, what do you want to eat?
idk, what do you want to eat?
November 19, 2025 at 9:24 AM
[my gf on her death bed]
idk, what do you want to eat?
idk, what do you want to eat?
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Sherlock Holmes sure was a braggadocios mf about finishing elementary school
November 19, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Sherlock Holmes sure was a braggadocios mf about finishing elementary school
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
black friday 2005: we have great deals one day only!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
November 18, 2025 at 6:55 PM
black friday 2005: we have great deals one day only!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
black friday 2025: we have bad deals all month long!
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Friend: what are you eating?
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
November 16, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Friend: what are you eating?
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
Me: protein bar.
Friend: that looks like a cheese quesadilla.
Me: exactly. protein bar.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I’m sorry, I have to cancel, I agreed to those plans while ovulating and I’m not that person anymore.
November 16, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I’m sorry, I have to cancel, I agreed to those plans while ovulating and I’m not that person anymore.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Wiping my 3yo’s butt, he caught a glimpse of the wipe & goes ‘EWWWW, mom that’s disgusting!’
My brother in christ, you’re the one who baked it.
My brother in christ, you’re the one who baked it.
November 17, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Wiping my 3yo’s butt, he caught a glimpse of the wipe & goes ‘EWWWW, mom that’s disgusting!’
My brother in christ, you’re the one who baked it.
My brother in christ, you’re the one who baked it.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Waiting for my kid to get ready in the morning is like watching a sloth in slow motion
October 23, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Waiting for my kid to get ready in the morning is like watching a sloth in slow motion
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My 3yo is playing restaurant with me and she’s asking me what I want to eat. She grabbed a few toys to use as food options she’d cook and here’s what’s on offer:
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
November 1, 2025 at 7:15 PM
My 3yo is playing restaurant with me and she’s asking me what I want to eat. She grabbed a few toys to use as food options she’d cook and here’s what’s on offer:
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
FedEx guy just pulled up pulled some big boxes off his truck and then put them back in and drove off so now I know how my dog feels when I come back in because I forgot my keys
October 16, 2025 at 8:16 PM
FedEx guy just pulled up pulled some big boxes off his truck and then put them back in and drove off so now I know how my dog feels when I come back in because I forgot my keys
I stand at school drop off all uncomfortable in my business blazer and slacks watching the teens head to class in their sweatpants and fancy slippers and I’ve never been more certain that we grown ups have a lot to learn from the next generation
November 17, 2025 at 11:57 AM
I stand at school drop off all uncomfortable in my business blazer and slacks watching the teens head to class in their sweatpants and fancy slippers and I’ve never been more certain that we grown ups have a lot to learn from the next generation
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I'm at my most North American when I make tater tot casserole for dinner
November 17, 2025 at 4:15 AM
I'm at my most North American when I make tater tot casserole for dinner
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
The 7 signs of ageing seem to have doubled.
November 17, 2025 at 10:41 AM
The 7 signs of ageing seem to have doubled.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Hear me out.
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
November 15, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Hear me out.
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Me: (Putting back dishwasher filter that I cleaned for the first time in at least 3 months) I'm going to totally remember to do this weekly from now on!!
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
November 15, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Me: (Putting back dishwasher filter that I cleaned for the first time in at least 3 months) I'm going to totally remember to do this weekly from now on!!
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"
November 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
People just don't stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.
November 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
People just don't stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's not against the HOA rules to quack at your neighbors
November 16, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's not against the HOA rules to quack at your neighbors
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My Kid: Dad! Come in close, I want to tell you something
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
November 16, 2025 at 10:41 PM
My Kid: Dad! Come in close, I want to tell you something
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
November 9, 2025 at 8:10 PM
5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Toes ranked:
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
November 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Toes ranked:
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My son just told me that he LOVES the new toy trucks they got at daycare. They are his toy trucks. We donated them because he refused to play with them.
November 11, 2025 at 5:32 PM
My son just told me that he LOVES the new toy trucks they got at daycare. They are his toy trucks. We donated them because he refused to play with them.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
November 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?