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Murderously Matt 🎃

@momentarilymatt.bsky.social

1.4K followers 430 following 1.2K posts

Gas station food aficionado, father. Possibly a donkey. Matts of Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:k276evh44gwsbdybxgtdothh/lists/3lb3c3birbg2

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Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · May 26

Me: Alexa, fix me.

Alexa: I'm sorry, you are a desicated husk of something that once resembled a human being. You can only be fixed by renewing your Amazon Prime subscription. Would you like me to renew your subscription? Make a gurgling sound if you agree to our new terms and conditions.

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Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · 1h

She's a 10 but she thinks the character you play is named Zelda

Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · 13h

Pretty sure antifa HQ's address is on Sesame Street

Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 21h

Once again, we should've never backed off the weirdness train. And a good way to keep winning is to make all of these fascists feel weird by confronting them with weirdness that shows how weird they are. Portland gets this. Everyone else needs to catch up.

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Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 13h

Hey man, your portents are growing a bit ominous. Probably nothing to worry about

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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 13h

I read in project 2025 that serial killers actually murder a relatively small amount of people relative to the total economic value of the entertainment produced.

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Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · 13h

Can I get paid if I say I'm an anarchist? Soros, where's my antifa money?

Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 1d

I'm sick of my awesome personality ruining lives and children's parties.

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Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · 19h

Celebrating by himself, Jerry worried that it would indeed not be a happy new year

Raccoons Hourly @raccoonhourly.bsky.social · 20h

Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

Just Call Me Amanda🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ @amandabf.bsky.social · 20h

Me, at the scene of the crime knowing full well I'm absolutely guilty of whatever it is they're accusing me with. I mean, there will be some dead giveaways...

Art the Clown from Terrifier looking flabbergasted

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Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 21h

This is why they don't let me sit near the emergency doors now

Inside of an empty passenger aircraft, with the slide fully deployed and twisted all over the place. Date on photo is 12/9/2003

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Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

🎃punkin spice spooky geist💀 @pretty-vulgar.bsky.social · 20h

girl dinner, she says as she unhinges her jaw and swallows an extra large pizza whole

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Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

supernatural siren @porcelainsiren.bsky.social · 22h

i just want to not care

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 22h

Try not to be a psychopath today.

-inspirational

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Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 21h

Those were the good ol' days.

Dunkin' which was formerly
known as Dunkin' Donuts,
was originally called
Dunkin' Donuts Supreme
Hibachi Buffet.

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Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

Jason the Spooky®️ 💛🤍💜🖤 @jasontheaverage.bsky.social · 1d

I know people are missing because my skeets that used to get 15 likes are only getting 12.

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Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · 23h

Apparently some of you need to hear this. There are two types of Mastodons in this world. One is a large, ridiculous looking thing that you should probably stay far away from and the other is an extinct elephant type thing.

Reposted by Murderously Matt 🎃

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 1d

Any job can be a dream job if you have nightmares about work

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Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 1d

After the shitposter exodus, I’m seeing people interact with my skeets that haven’t before and I can’t help feeling a bit like sloppy seconds. I’m into it.