mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
@m1keonl1ne.bsky.social
extremely normal
extremely normal posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajypeq6itvw
extremely normal posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajypeq6itvw
Pinned
What if we kissed under the soft white light of the cum lamp
Coffee so old it has an AARP card
November 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Coffee so old it has an AARP card
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
sweet summer child
implies the existence of
bitter winter bastard
implies the existence of
bitter winter bastard
November 25, 2025 at 4:23 PM
sweet summer child
implies the existence of
bitter winter bastard
implies the existence of
bitter winter bastard
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
waffles should have more confidence
November 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
waffles should have more confidence
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
November 24, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I got married & pregnant on the day Trump picked JD to be his running mate, which is to say, the day was kinda a wash
November 23, 2025 at 1:21 AM
I got married & pregnant on the day Trump picked JD to be his running mate, which is to say, the day was kinda a wash
Did you…, Charlie Brown?
A little over and to the left, Charlie Brown
I like you as a friend, Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 7:31 AM
Did you…, Charlie Brown?
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I like you as a friend, Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 1:49 AM
I like you as a friend, Charlie Brown
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
During Covid lockdown in Australia if you had family around Christmas Day the police could force entry and make your family go home.
Is this service still available and do you have to book?
Is this service still available and do you have to book?
November 21, 2025 at 12:06 AM
During Covid lockdown in Australia if you had family around Christmas Day the police could force entry and make your family go home.
Is this service still available and do you have to book?
Is this service still available and do you have to book?
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Grok; make people love me
November 25, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Grok; make people love me
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I would like a redo..life.
November 24, 2025 at 7:34 PM
I would like a redo..life.
What I'm wearing to Bluesky rehab
November 25, 2025 at 4:00 AM
What I'm wearing to Bluesky rehab
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Never get involved in a land war in Asia, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Never get involved in a land war in Asia, Charlie Brown.
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I prefer my insanity virtual, thanks.
November 25, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I prefer my insanity virtual, thanks.
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
November 25, 2025 at 2:11 AM
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Went to an art museum to feel cultured. Left feeling judged by a painting of fruit.
November 23, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Went to an art museum to feel cultured. Left feeling judged by a painting of fruit.
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Mayonnaise is just lotion for bread
November 23, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Mayonnaise is just lotion for bread
Me: how bout some fresh water?
Cat: the bathtub faucet is fine, thanks
Cat: the bathtub faucet is fine, thanks
November 25, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Me: how bout some fresh water?
Cat: the bathtub faucet is fine, thanks
Cat: the bathtub faucet is fine, thanks
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I'm pretty sure that if given the option, my cat would climb into my mouth
November 25, 2025 at 1:33 AM
I'm pretty sure that if given the option, my cat would climb into my mouth
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
November 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
It was the heat of the moment, your honor
November 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
It was the heat of the moment, your honor
I just bought a mythical axe from
Guitar Centaur
Guitar Centaur
November 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I just bought a mythical axe from
Guitar Centaur
Guitar Centaur
A movie that takes place where you're from
November 24, 2025 at 4:54 PM
A movie that takes place where you're from
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
a clutter shaming robot that goes around the house taking pics of clutter and sending them to your mom
November 23, 2025 at 7:34 PM
a clutter shaming robot that goes around the house taking pics of clutter and sending them to your mom