mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
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m1keonl1ne.bsky.social
mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
@m1keonl1ne.bsky.social
Pinned
What if we kissed under the soft white light of the cum lamp
Coffee so old it has an AARP card
November 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
sweet summer child
implies the existence of
bitter winter bastard
November 25, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
waffles should have more confidence
November 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Him: "why are you naked?"

Me: "im eating lasagna"
November 24, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I got married & pregnant on the day Trump picked JD to be his running mate, which is to say, the day was kinda a wash
November 23, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Did you…, Charlie Brown?
A little over and to the left, Charlie Brown
I like you as a friend, Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 7:31 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I like you as a friend, Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
During Covid lockdown in Australia if you had family around Christmas Day the police could force entry and make your family go home.

Is this service still available and do you have to book?
November 21, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Grok; make people love me
November 25, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I would like a redo..life.
November 24, 2025 at 7:34 PM
What I'm wearing to Bluesky rehab
November 25, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Never get involved in a land war in Asia, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I prefer my insanity virtual, thanks.
November 25, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
narrator: 50 years ago...

me: [nods] in 1945

narrator: in 1975...

me: what
November 25, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Went to an art museum to feel cultured. Left feeling judged by a painting of fruit.
November 23, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
Mayonnaise is just lotion for bread
November 23, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Me: how bout some fresh water?

Cat: the bathtub faucet is fine, thanks
November 25, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I'm pretty sure that if given the option, my cat would climb into my mouth
November 25, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
November 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
It was the heat of the moment, your honor
November 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I just bought a mythical axe from
Guitar Centaur
November 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
A movie that takes place where you're from
November 24, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Reposted by mike☺︎ (discount dracula)
a clutter shaming robot that goes around the house taking pics of clutter and sending them to your mom
November 23, 2025 at 7:34 PM