Matty
@bestestname.bsky.social
Bluesky is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:n3kxj4fonot7lg67tmakj4dn/feed/aaacgs3xfjaw4
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:n3kxj4fonot7lg67tmakj4dn/feed/aaacgs3xfjaw4
Pinned
Matty
@bestestname.bsky.social
· Jun 11
Would be endlessly helpful if everyone got their name tattooed on their face
Reposted by Matty
Reposted by Matty
The last of the original Garbage Pail Kids has died in custody
November 27, 2025 at 3:02 AM
The last of the original Garbage Pail Kids has died in custody
Chocolate oranges are the best gift for a child you don't like
November 27, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Chocolate oranges are the best gift for a child you don't like
Don't wait until New Years. You can fail to make major changes in your life any time.
November 26, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Don't wait until New Years. You can fail to make major changes in your life any time.
there is one who was definitely a mistake but I don't hate any of my exes
November 26, 2025 at 3:17 PM
there is one who was definitely a mistake but I don't hate any of my exes
Reposted by Matty
love how language learning apps are like “three words you need to know in every language are badminton, wild boar, and frolicsome”
November 26, 2025 at 2:14 PM
love how language learning apps are like “three words you need to know in every language are badminton, wild boar, and frolicsome”
Tree lightings are not fun but at least they are crowded
November 26, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Tree lightings are not fun but at least they are crowded
Reposted by Matty
I used to be young. Now I feel a little badass when I close the oven door with my foot
November 25, 2025 at 1:43 PM
I used to be young. Now I feel a little badass when I close the oven door with my foot
Reposted by Matty
waffles should have more confidence
November 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
waffles should have more confidence
Reposted by Matty
i’m from a swing district and that means we sleep with all of our neighbors
November 25, 2025 at 2:27 PM
i’m from a swing district and that means we sleep with all of our neighbors
The tiniest and most real disappointment is paying full price for a coffee that is not good
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
The tiniest and most real disappointment is paying full price for a coffee that is not good
Follow me for more fun bird facts
November 25, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Follow me for more fun bird facts
Birds cannot taste the spiciness of peppers. They would kill it on Hot Ones.
November 25, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Birds cannot taste the spiciness of peppers. They would kill it on Hot Ones.
Reposted by Matty
When I leave for work, I leave the ceiling fans on because I like to keep our ghosts comfortable.
November 25, 2025 at 2:58 PM
When I leave for work, I leave the ceiling fans on because I like to keep our ghosts comfortable.
Reposted by Matty
*gets out of bed* parkour
November 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
*gets out of bed* parkour
They say all new technology is immediately used to make porn, but maybe we should not have done that with the microwave
November 25, 2025 at 12:53 AM
They say all new technology is immediately used to make porn, but maybe we should not have done that with the microwave
Everyone else should age gracefully
November 24, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Everyone else should age gracefully
THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR
November 23, 2025 at 10:24 PM
THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR
Took a pen to a sword fight. Did not feel mighty.
November 23, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Took a pen to a sword fight. Did not feel mighty.
They should invent soccer that is just penalty kicks. It would save so much time.
November 23, 2025 at 5:57 AM
They should invent soccer that is just penalty kicks. It would save so much time.
Reposted by Matty
Sometimes, in the morning, it takes me a year to wake up.
November 22, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Sometimes, in the morning, it takes me a year to wake up.
Reposted by Matty
movie posters featuring the muppets: thread
November 22, 2025 at 1:49 PM
movie posters featuring the muppets: thread
Reposted by Matty
I just watched Karate Kid 6 so I’m technically part of the problem.
November 22, 2025 at 2:02 PM
I just watched Karate Kid 6 so I’m technically part of the problem.
Reposted by Matty
Ooo America you in trouble girl
October 28, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Ooo America you in trouble girl
Reposted by Matty
Ah, I'm awake again. Time to open the psychological harm app
November 22, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Ah, I'm awake again. Time to open the psychological harm app