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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 39m

Sacred site.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 43m

"Up Next: AMITYVILLE: THE EVIL ESCAPES."

How 'bout no?

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 47m

this is the second movie in a row that ends with the Amityville house blowing up.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 52m

yep, the last 15 minutes are basically "Poltergeist but stupid."

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 53m

also the fact that Robert Joy's character is named Dr. West is adding to the general untrustworthy creepy guy vibes that comes with being played by Robert Joy.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 56m

oh you're just taking the piss now.

A member of a paranormal investigation team points a mike at the screen...in 3-DEEEEEEE!

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

okay so AMITYVILLE 3-D is going to go "Poltergeist but really stupid" in its last 15 minutes?

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

so my reviews of AMITYViLLE II & 3-D: "Yeah, I could have just watched THE BEYOND twice."

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

okay so the amityville house has now basically become the house from the grudge where if you spend any time inside it can get you anywhere you go.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

Yeah, it's dopey alright.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

Spoke too soon. Pipe through a car windshield and a burnt skeleton lunging towards the camera in quick succession.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

seriously what is it with this franchise and leaky plumbing.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

...also for the chintzy 3-D installment there's been a major lack of shit flying at the screen.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

AMITYVILLE, the franchise that thinks the sound of a fly buzzing is inherently ominous.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

Now Meg Ryan and Lori Laughlin are debating whether you could have sex with a ghost.

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

this movie has a scene involving a possessed elevator that's basically the droopy dog scene from ROGER RABBIT.

(it's not as amazing as it sounds)

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Glasgow Smiley @neokefka99.bsky.social · 1h

oh no, imprint's putting out a slipcase / steelbook of THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER.

"Doesn't look like it has any different features than the Shout release. You don't have to import that!"

But it's got both posters as the cover art!

"oooooh."

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Reposted by Glasgow Smiley

Valancourt Books @valancourtbooks.bsky.social · 6h

Today's $2.99 Kindle deal is not to be missed! Karl Edward Wagner's IN A LONELY PLACE (1983) is one of the best modern horror collections, featuring some of this master storyteller's best work. Grab it at a bargain price today online on Kindle worldwide! www.amazon.com/Lonely-Place...