Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 23h

The president keeps vacuuming in front of the TV while I am playing the economy

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daryl "shut down, ass up'" b 🏳️‍⚧️ @hypercubexl.bsky.social · 21h

this headline would be fine without that last s

Jay Allen @gaiaslastlaugh.bsky.social · 21h

"Firm views"

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 21h

Wait, slow down, what was the second part again?

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 21h

throw the ball, hit the ball, catch the ball. that's the name of the game right there

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 3d

Not to get political but someone left a dildo in my building's driveway today. And when I got back from my errands it was gone

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

Anything can be a puppet if you don’t care what happens to your hand

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 4d

If Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban can't make it, what hope is there for me and the black monolith that knows all things

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 21h

I like your chances

1

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mike @sonuvafitch.bsky.social · 21h

I hope the game is still going when I wake up tomorrow

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Schmrrrrrrrlex @schmrrrlex.bsky.social · 1d

just hear me out: thrice baked potato

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 21h

They already broke the no bastards rule, everything is permitted

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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 21h

We might literally have to try out that “there’s no rule that a dog can’t play baseball” thing at this point

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 21h

AJ WAS RIGHT

2

niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 21h

The fastest mego moment in my life was when I tried to start a mastodon acct

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Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir) @nora.zone · 1d

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 1d

ME: a doctor put a curse on me

WIFE: which doctor

ME: yes

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niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social · 21h

Trump got a covid and flu shot this week because damn, the marks are just that stupid

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Leif Malone @thetroops.fightins.online · 2d

Baseball players should kiss. Same team, different team. Don’t care.

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clamdaniel.bsky.social @clamdaniel.bsky.social · 23h

*takes Xanax in slow motion*

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Electric Chimp @electricchimp.bsky.social · 22h

conservatives hate homeless people so much that they make as many of them as they can

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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 1d

the final boss of "imagine if obama did it"

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

Hegseth: "I'm also proud that today we're signing a letter of acceptance to build a Qatari Emeri air force facility at the Mountain Home Airbase in Idaho."

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ceej @ceej.online · 1d

damn. hoping it at least signifies something

William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 1d

It is a tale
Told by an idiot

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 2d

Still a good feeling

Image of the screen seen after winning online Solitaire with the bouncing cards

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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 1d

Very much enjoying the inflatable frog segment of the civil war.

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Semiotic Scaryname @mitdasein.bsky.social · 1d

Hunter S. Pumpkins

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