Orcish Law
@orcishlaw.bsky.social
Lawyer. Gamer. Lawyer who represents game developers. Former musical theatre performer. He/him. Profile pic by @lartist. Black Lives still Matter. Fight fascists. Protect trans kids.
Pinned
Orcish Law
@orcishlaw.bsky.social
· Oct 5
John Roberts: Good morning, counsel. Before we begin, I understand that there is an update to the caption in this case?
Me: Yes, your honor. My client recently changed their name.
JR: Alright. And what is your client's new name?
Me: Webster Bivens, your honor.
JR: <covering the mic> oh shit
Me: Yes, your honor. My client recently changed their name.
JR: Alright. And what is your client's new name?
Me: Webster Bivens, your honor.
JR: <covering the mic> oh shit
There's no ethical consumption under capitalism, but damned if Costco isn't taking a run at it.
Costco is suing the Trump administration in an effort to get a full refund of new tariffs paid by the warehouse retail giant this year and to block those tariffs from continuing to be imposed as a Supreme Court case plays out… www.cnbc.com/2025/12/01/c...
Costco sues for Trump tariff refunds before Supreme Court rules if they're illegal
Costco joins dozens of other companies that are seeking to protect their rights to refunds of Trump's tariffs without first waiting for the Supreme Court.
www.cnbc.com
December 2, 2025 at 4:27 AM
There's no ethical consumption under capitalism, but damned if Costco isn't taking a run at it.
So these are 100% awesome, but, uh, the internet has broken me.
Good on the creator for remembering to use a flared base though!
Good on the creator for remembering to use a flared base though!
GUYS
GUYS
MY BROTHER MADE ME THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL BUSTS
GUYS
MY BROTHER MADE ME THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL BUSTS
December 2, 2025 at 4:25 AM
So these are 100% awesome, but, uh, the internet has broken me.
Good on the creator for remembering to use a flared base though!
Good on the creator for remembering to use a flared base though!
Chat, is this good?
Ok #lawsky, the hearing on OC's motion to be relieved in this case was conducted today. Want to know how it went? Immediately afterwards, the Court sent EVERY ATTORNEY IN OC'S FIRM an email ordering them to be in court for a sanctions hearing in 2 weeks. Transcript will be posted as soon as I get it
Opposing counsel just submitted an application to the court to adjourn the trial tomorrow and didn't cc me on it and said it was OK because I wouldn't be prejudiced and didn't tell the court that I'd already submitted opposition to his formal request and the court adjourned it???
December 2, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Chat, is this good?
Reposted by Orcish Law
Need recs for a generalist lawyer in Southern Illinois for a family friend. Father with dementia co-owns the family biz & is causing liability issues, as they’re trying to use a brokerage firm to find a buyer for the business. Small town, sounds like corp docs might be a mess. Any takers?
December 2, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Need recs for a generalist lawyer in Southern Illinois for a family friend. Father with dementia co-owns the family biz & is causing liability issues, as they’re trying to use a brokerage firm to find a buyer for the business. Small town, sounds like corp docs might be a mess. Any takers?
I named my fists 403 and 404, because what's about to happen is forbidden and your body won't be found
I named my fists DNS and Segfault because they’re going to take you down.
I named my fists Res and Ipsa, because they speak for themselves.
(This one is for the true legal sickos)
(This one is for the true legal sickos)
December 1, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I named my fists 403 and 404, because what's about to happen is forbidden and your body won't be found
(One last one for the legal sickos)
I named my fists Burger King and Asahi, because my arms are long, and I'm not going to have any trouble establishing minimum contacts.
I named my fists Burger King and Asahi, because my arms are long, and I'm not going to have any trouble establishing minimum contacts.
December 1, 2025 at 8:29 PM
(One last one for the legal sickos)
I named my fists Burger King and Asahi, because my arms are long, and I'm not going to have any trouble establishing minimum contacts.
I named my fists Burger King and Asahi, because my arms are long, and I'm not going to have any trouble establishing minimum contacts.
I named my fists Res and Ipsa, because they speak for themselves.
(This one is for the true legal sickos)
(This one is for the true legal sickos)
I named my fists Actual and Malice because you're completely going to misunderstand what they do to you
I named my fists Great and Gatsby because they're about to beat on
December 1, 2025 at 8:06 PM
I named my fists Res and Ipsa, because they speak for themselves.
(This one is for the true legal sickos)
(This one is for the true legal sickos)
I named my fists Lawyer and Attorney, because nobody actually cares what the difference between them is; they know the real pain will come when I send you a bill for my time.
I named my fists Qualified and Immunity because nothing about my life is clearly established
I named my fists Actual and Malice because you're completely going to misunderstand what they do to you
December 1, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I named my fists Lawyer and Attorney, because nobody actually cares what the difference between them is; they know the real pain will come when I send you a bill for my time.
I named my fists Qualified and Immunity because nothing about my life is clearly established
I named my fists Actual and Malice because you're completely going to misunderstand what they do to you
I named my fists Great and Gatsby because they're about to beat on
December 1, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I named my fists Qualified and Immunity because nothing about my life is clearly established
Today I'm calling to see if other pharmacies have my med in stock. Except you can't ever talk to a pharmacist, only leave voicemails, but to do even that first requires a full minute of AI prompts and entering your DOB. And you can't start responding until the robot stops talking. I am rage.
a man talking on a cell phone with the words pick up pick up written below him
Alt: A gif from Only Murders in the Building. Howard is standing in a store looking frazzled and exasperated, yelling into his phone: "Pick up, pick up, Pick up, oh my GOD!"
media.tenor.com
November 30, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Today I'm calling to see if other pharmacies have my med in stock. Except you can't ever talk to a pharmacist, only leave voicemails, but to do even that first requires a full minute of AI prompts and entering your DOB. And you can't start responding until the robot stops talking. I am rage.
Reposted by Orcish Law
I’m DYING
November 30, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I’m DYING
Finally got a chance to sit down and watch Sinners. Goddamn, what a great movie!
November 30, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Finally got a chance to sit down and watch Sinners. Goddamn, what a great movie!
Reposted by Orcish Law
Does anyone want a survivorship bias shortbread
November 29, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Does anyone want a survivorship bias shortbread
They drove out NU's (Jewish) president not 3 months ago for "not doing enough to protect students from antisemitism."
I'm sure the Jews feel much safer now.
I'm sure the Jews feel much safer now.
Compare with the Cornell deal: the payment is 2.5x greater and rather than just agreeing to comply with law (ok) Northwestern signed on to pages of line-item restrictions that reach far beyond the government’s ordinary legal authority. As with previous deals the government presented no evidence.
November 29, 2025 at 8:59 PM
They drove out NU's (Jewish) president not 3 months ago for "not doing enough to protect students from antisemitism."
I'm sure the Jews feel much safer now.
I'm sure the Jews feel much safer now.
Hell yeah.
I'm not sure what's in it for the owner of this account, as they don't get any additional access to my posts, but I'm nonetheless grateful to see it confirmed that I'm a classy fucking gentleman.
I'm not sure what's in it for the owner of this account, as they don't get any additional access to my posts, but I'm nonetheless grateful to see it confirmed that I'm a classy fucking gentleman.
@orcishlaw.bsky.social has swears! They've used 380 profanities in their last 3,227 posts.
🥇 "hell" (48 times)
🥈 "shit" (45 times)
🥉 "fuck" (41 times)
🥇 "hell" (48 times)
🥈 "shit" (45 times)
🥉 "fuck" (41 times)
November 29, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Hell yeah.
I'm not sure what's in it for the owner of this account, as they don't get any additional access to my posts, but I'm nonetheless grateful to see it confirmed that I'm a classy fucking gentleman.
I'm not sure what's in it for the owner of this account, as they don't get any additional access to my posts, but I'm nonetheless grateful to see it confirmed that I'm a classy fucking gentleman.
@profhalloran.bsky.social John, I slept on it, and am still so goddamn furious at Northwestern. Do you think there's any point to yelling at Bienen? (A question I asked 25 years ago about MLK Day and am somehow asking again today)
November 29, 2025 at 7:27 PM
@profhalloran.bsky.social John, I slept on it, and am still so goddamn furious at Northwestern. Do you think there's any point to yelling at Bienen? (A question I asked 25 years ago about MLK Day and am somehow asking again today)
Reposted by Orcish Law
One of the weird things about 2025 is that I legitimately don’t know whether or not we’re at war with Venezuela right now.
November 14, 2025 at 3:48 PM
One of the weird things about 2025 is that I legitimately don’t know whether or not we’re at war with Venezuela right now.
Alright @profanity.accountant please tell me I'm at least at 10%. I have a goddamn reputation to maintain
November 29, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Alright @profanity.accountant please tell me I'm at least at 10%. I have a goddamn reputation to maintain
Reposted by Orcish Law
I say this as an alumnus, to the administration of Northwestern, an institution to which I can attribute many of the great things that have happened in my life: you fucking cowards.
BREAKING: Northwestern University has agreed to pay the U.S. Treasury $75 million, over the course of three years as part of an agreement with the federal government to restore funding and end investigations into the university
Full statement from NU below:
Full statement from NU below:
November 29, 2025 at 4:28 AM
I say this as an alumnus, to the administration of Northwestern, an institution to which I can attribute many of the great things that have happened in my life: you fucking cowards.
Reposted by Orcish Law
thanksgiving reminder: after your turkey comes out of the oven it is important to let it rest inside a wall or floor for 1 to 2 hours
November 27, 2025 at 7:11 PM
thanksgiving reminder: after your turkey comes out of the oven it is important to let it rest inside a wall or floor for 1 to 2 hours
Reposted by Orcish Law
Happy Chompsgiving!
November 27, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Happy Chompsgiving!
Watching the dog show, and wondering: If they fabricated a new breed or two every year and pretended they were long-established, would we ever know?
Like, we'd suspect, sure, but could anyone be *certain*?
Like, we'd suspect, sure, but could anyone be *certain*?
November 27, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Watching the dog show, and wondering: If they fabricated a new breed or two every year and pretended they were long-established, would we ever know?
Like, we'd suspect, sure, but could anyone be *certain*?
Like, we'd suspect, sure, but could anyone be *certain*?
Reposted by Orcish Law
because the US hasn't done enough to collectively punish people from afghanistan
November 27, 2025 at 3:43 AM
because the US hasn't done enough to collectively punish people from afghanistan
I choose to believe that--seeing as they have the shooter in custody and are still only responding in a fluster rather than by blaming the left or woke-- this is likely another right wing assailant, probably white, probably MAGA, and for extra points, probably a pardoned Jan 6th insurrectionist.
Guard members in critical condition. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
Two guard members are in critical condition, officials say
Bowser and FBI Director Kash Patel said the two guard members are in “critical condition.” At a news conference this evening, Bowser described the incident as
www.nbcnews.com
November 26, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I choose to believe that--seeing as they have the shooter in custody and are still only responding in a fluster rather than by blaming the left or woke-- this is likely another right wing assailant, probably white, probably MAGA, and for extra points, probably a pardoned Jan 6th insurrectionist.