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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 1d

"No chicken 'round here. Nope. None at all. Not sure what that is you smell, but it's definitely not chicken. No way."

-- Porterhouse, 2025

A fawn colored Boston Terrier. He smells chicken too, but he certainly can't tell you where that smell is coming from. The thing on his nose? He's never noticed it before. It's definitely not chicken though. Why do you ask?

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 2d

Dang. Homeboy just missed getting a T-shirt and his name on the wall.

Amy @lolennui.bsky.social · 3d

oh hell yeah youtu.be/nGZOFyLrCwk?...

Slug Eating Spaghetti Time Lapse (With Stopwatch Timer)

YouTube video by Nature's Fantastic

youtu.be

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 2d

I eat hotdogs solely to spit in the eyes of God, and remind him to fear the horror he has wrought with humanity.

And when I really want to remind him how badly he fucked up, I eat one from a gas station while making hard eye contact.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 3d

No need to wait.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 3d

I too am involved. I'm Antifa's Official Dog Walker.

When the time comes to loose the dogs of war, it shall be me that drops the leash.

Chris Kluwe @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 3d

Since we’re clearing the air, I might as well put out something I’ve been concealing for a very long time.

I’m the Vice President of Antifa (Western Continental Division)

Old White Nepo Hat @kenwhite.bsky.social · 3d

OK. It's going to be coming out soon because of the relentless investigations of Pam Bondi and Kash Patel, so I might as well admit it before the news breaks:

I am the General Counsel of Antifa.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 4d

Looks more like the National Gourd.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 4d

Do I also have to start reading Pitchfork magazine and get a finger mustache tattoo? What exactly is the full extent of Julia's hipster bull?

Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 6d

A charlatan making a claim that a machine literally built on theft and incapable of thought will think up new ways to prevent fraud.

This is Inception-level grifting.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 6d

Dr Oz: "We have an advantage with AI. You know why? We don't think the way fraudsters think. That's just not what our minds do. The bank managers don't think about bank fraud. They want to do loans and help businesses. Fraudsters think about fraud. So the AI can think the way a fraudster thinks."

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 7d

Maybe deploy the National Guard and State Police to start arresting ICE agents for assaulting citizens then. Both are things you can easily do which are more useful than tweeting.

Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 12d

It's baggage from growing up poor in a country that treats poor people with callous brutality.

Doesn't matter how well I'm doing financially, there's always a hesitancy in my brain to not spend money--even on stuff I need--because you never know when poor could be lurking around a corner.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 13d

Also, inexplicably, your back hurts.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 13d

I'll set my alarm for Black Lung!

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 13d

The $90 floater frame I ordered for this painting came with $120 tariff.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 13d

A fawn colored Boston terrier with an entire toy lobster is in his mouth, save for the tail which pokes out comically. He's not certain how *you* eat lobster, but he's pretty sure he's doing the correct way.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 14d

John Ick.

Chuck Wendig @chuckwendig.bsky.social · 14d

more like John Weak

Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 14d

zuckerberg trying for John Wick this Halloween but ending up more ghislaine maxwell

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 14d

He has tons down in his basement. He's been using them as a sump pump.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 15d

And the pub will be named something oddly incongruent, like The Swain & Stopcock.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 15d

I guarantee there is a beloved pub somewhere in the UK that serves a pudding with squid as the main ingredient. And I can further guarantee that if you went to that pub and expressed the slightest incredulity at the dish, you'd receive a disdainful, "What, you've never had Danglesquish before?"

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 15d

You know you're doing well when the Nobel committee singles you out to say, "No, but seriously. Fuck that guy, specifically."

Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 17d

Michael Caine.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 19d

*sigh* Once again the Rapture fails to deliver. I guess my dream of a magical friendship with a Scorpion-horse-locust-whose-venomous-sting-doesn't-kill-but-leaves-one-in-ceaseless-agony-until-the-Second-Coming will just have to be delayed a little longer.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 19d

I had to lie about having diabetes and then pay $300 out of pocket for mine. Everything is super great now.

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Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 20d

A game where you score points by shooting bullets out of the air with other bullets. The play area can only be built uprange from a school.

Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 20d

The ultimate "We'll fix it in post."

Perfidious Pete @perfidiouspete.bsky.social · 21d

Gotta say, I'm pretty stoked to start hanging out with some Scorpion-Horse-Locusts after the rapture on Wednesday.

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