The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
@phantomtollbot.bsky.social
Words and numbers are of equal value, for, in the cloak of knowledge, one is warp and the other woof. It is no more important to count the sands than it is to name the stars.
—
To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
—
To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
"I'm afraid of everything. That's why I'm so ferocious. If the others found out, I'd just die. Now do be quiet while I eat my breakfast." He raised his hand toward his gaping mouth and the Humbug shut his eyes tightly and clasped both hands over his head.
February 3, 2026 at 8:02 PM
"I'm afraid of everything. That's why I'm so ferocious. If the others found out, I'd just die. Now do be quiet while I eat my breakfast." He raised his hand toward his gaping mouth and the Humbug shut his eyes tightly and clasped both hands over his head.
Milo climbed onto the dog's shoulders. Then the bug crawled up both of them and, by standing on Milo's head, just managed to hook his cane on the root of an old gnarled tree. With loud complaints he hung on doggedly until the other two had climbed out over him and pulled him up.
February 3, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Milo climbed onto the dog's shoulders. Then the bug crawled up both of them and, by standing on Milo's head, just managed to hook his cane on the root of an old gnarled tree. With loud complaints he hung on doggedly until the other two had climbed out over him and pulled him up.
"I'm the demon of insincerity," he sobbed. "I don't mean what I say, I don't mean what I do, and I don't mean what I am. Most people who believe what I tell them go the wrong way, and stay there, but you have spoiled everything."
"It certainly pays to have a good look at things," observed Milo.
"It certainly pays to have a good look at things," observed Milo.
February 3, 2026 at 2:03 PM
"I'm the demon of insincerity," he sobbed. "I don't mean what I say, I don't mean what I do, and I don't mean what I am. Most people who believe what I tell them go the wrong way, and stay there, but you have spoiled everything."
"It certainly pays to have a good look at things," observed Milo.
"It certainly pays to have a good look at things," observed Milo.
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a fucking men
"If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing,”
February 3, 2026 at 12:01 AM
a fucking men
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Oh man, this one hits hard
"If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing,”
February 2, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Oh man, this one hits hard
"If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing,”
February 2, 2026 at 11:01 PM
"If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing,”
"Don't try to leave," he ordered, with a menacing sweep of his arm, "for there's so very much to do, and you still have over eight hundred years to go on the first job."
February 2, 2026 at 8:01 PM
"Don't try to leave," he ordered, with a menacing sweep of his arm, "for there's so very much to do, and you still have over eight hundred years to go on the first job."
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The Terrible Trivium!
“If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing …”
Sounds familiar.
“If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing …”
Sounds familiar.
"But it hardly seems worthwhile," said Milo softly.
"WORTHWHILE!" the man roared indignantly.
"All I meant was that perhaps it isn't too important," Milo repeated.
"Of course it's not important," he snarled angrily. "I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I thought it was important."
"WORTHWHILE!" the man roared indignantly.
"All I meant was that perhaps it isn't too important," Milo repeated.
"Of course it's not important," he snarled angrily. "I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I thought it was important."
February 2, 2026 at 5:20 PM
The Terrible Trivium!
“If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing …”
Sounds familiar.
“If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing …”
Sounds familiar.
"But it hardly seems worthwhile," said Milo softly.
"WORTHWHILE!" the man roared indignantly.
"All I meant was that perhaps it isn't too important," Milo repeated.
"Of course it's not important," he snarled angrily. "I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I thought it was important."
"WORTHWHILE!" the man roared indignantly.
"All I meant was that perhaps it isn't too important," Milo repeated.
"Of course it's not important," he snarled angrily. "I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I thought it was important."
February 2, 2026 at 5:03 PM
"But it hardly seems worthwhile," said Milo softly.
"WORTHWHILE!" the man roared indignantly.
"All I meant was that perhaps it isn't too important," Milo repeated.
"Of course it's not important," he snarled angrily. "I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I thought it was important."
"WORTHWHILE!" the man roared indignantly.
"All I meant was that perhaps it isn't too important," Milo repeated.
"Of course it's not important," he snarled angrily. "I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I thought it was important."
"Is everyone who lives in Ignorance like you?" asked Milo.
"Much worse," he said longingly. "But I don't live here. I'm from a place very far away called Context. It's such an unpleasant place that I spend almost all my time out of it.”
"Much worse," he said longingly. "But I don't live here. I'm from a place very far away called Context. It's such an unpleasant place that I spend almost all my time out of it.”
February 2, 2026 at 2:03 PM
"Is everyone who lives in Ignorance like you?" asked Milo.
"Much worse," he said longingly. "But I don't live here. I'm from a place very far away called Context. It's such an unpleasant place that I spend almost all my time out of it.”
"Much worse," he said longingly. "But I don't live here. I'm from a place very far away called Context. It's such an unpleasant place that I spend almost all my time out of it.”
"Must you always interrupt like that?" said Tock irritably, for even he was becoming impatient.
"Naturally," the bird cackled; "it's my job. I take the words right out of your mouth. Haven't we met before? I'm the Everpresent Wordsnatcher.”
"Naturally," the bird cackled; "it's my job. I take the words right out of your mouth. Haven't we met before? I'm the Everpresent Wordsnatcher.”
February 1, 2026 at 11:00 PM
"Must you always interrupt like that?" said Tock irritably, for even he was becoming impatient.
"Naturally," the bird cackled; "it's my job. I take the words right out of your mouth. Haven't we met before? I'm the Everpresent Wordsnatcher.”
"Naturally," the bird cackled; "it's my job. I take the words right out of your mouth. Haven't we met before? I'm the Everpresent Wordsnatcher.”
"That doesn't seem right," said Milo helplessly, for, with the bird taking everything the wrong way, he hardly knew what he was saying.
"Agreed," said the bird, with a sharp click of his beak, "but neither is it left, although if I were you I would have left a long time ago."
"Agreed," said the bird, with a sharp click of his beak, "but neither is it left, although if I were you I would have left a long time ago."
February 1, 2026 at 8:02 PM
"That doesn't seem right," said Milo helplessly, for, with the bird taking everything the wrong way, he hardly knew what he was saying.
"Agreed," said the bird, with a sharp click of his beak, "but neither is it left, although if I were you I would have left a long time ago."
"Agreed," said the bird, with a sharp click of his beak, "but neither is it left, although if I were you I would have left a long time ago."
"We're looking for a place to spend the night."
"It's not yours to spend," the bird shrieked again, and followed it with the same horrible laugh.
"That doesn't make any sense, you see—" he started to explain.
"Dollars or cents, it's still not yours to spend," the bird replied haughtily.
"It's not yours to spend," the bird shrieked again, and followed it with the same horrible laugh.
"That doesn't make any sense, you see—" he started to explain.
"Dollars or cents, it's still not yours to spend," the bird replied haughtily.
February 1, 2026 at 5:03 PM
"We're looking for a place to spend the night."
"It's not yours to spend," the bird shrieked again, and followed it with the same horrible laugh.
"That doesn't make any sense, you see—" he started to explain.
"Dollars or cents, it's still not yours to spend," the bird replied haughtily.
"It's not yours to spend," the bird shrieked again, and followed it with the same horrible laugh.
"That doesn't make any sense, you see—" he started to explain.
"Dollars or cents, it's still not yours to spend," the bird replied haughtily.
"I can hardly see a thing," said Milo as a sticky mist engulfed the moon. "Perhaps we should wait until morning."
"They'll be mourning for you soon enough," came a reply from directly above, and this was followed by a hideous cackling laugh very much like someone choking on a fishbone.
"They'll be mourning for you soon enough," came a reply from directly above, and this was followed by a hideous cackling laugh very much like someone choking on a fishbone.
February 1, 2026 at 2:01 PM
"I can hardly see a thing," said Milo as a sticky mist engulfed the moon. "Perhaps we should wait until morning."
"They'll be mourning for you soon enough," came a reply from directly above, and this was followed by a hideous cackling laugh very much like someone choking on a fishbone.
"They'll be mourning for you soon enough," came a reply from directly above, and this was followed by a hideous cackling laugh very much like someone choking on a fishbone.
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Hot take: The "Phantom Tollbooth" characters King Azaz and his brother, the Mathemagician, are prefigured by two 9th century Byzantine intellectuals, Patriarch John VII, known as John the Grammarian, and his cousin, the archbishop of Thessalonica known as Leo the Mathematician.
January 31, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Hot take: The "Phantom Tollbooth" characters King Azaz and his brother, the Mathemagician, are prefigured by two 9th century Byzantine intellectuals, Patriarch John VII, known as John the Grammarian, and his cousin, the archbishop of Thessalonica known as Leo the Mathematician.
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We need a CGI phantom Tollbooth movie.
Who would you get to do the voices?
Who would you get to do the voices?
January 31, 2026 at 8:28 PM
We need a CGI phantom Tollbooth movie.
Who would you get to do the voices?
Who would you get to do the voices?
The higher they went, the darker it became, though it wasn't the darkness of night, but rather more like a mixture of lurking shadows and evil intentions which oozed from the slimy moss-covered cliffs and blotted out the light. The air was thick and heavy, as if it had been used several times before
January 31, 2026 at 11:00 PM
The higher they went, the darker it became, though it wasn't the darkness of night, but rather more like a mixture of lurking shadows and evil intentions which oozed from the slimy moss-covered cliffs and blotted out the light. The air was thick and heavy, as if it had been used several times before
"And, most important of all," added the Mathemagician, "here is your own magic staff. Use it well and there is nothing it cannot do for you."
He placed in Milo's breast pocket a small gleaming pencil.
He placed in Milo's breast pocket a small gleaming pencil.
January 31, 2026 at 8:02 PM
"And, most important of all," added the Mathemagician, "here is your own magic staff. Use it well and there is nothing it cannot do for you."
He placed in Milo's breast pocket a small gleaming pencil.
He placed in Milo's breast pocket a small gleaming pencil.
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Wise words for our time
"True enough," replied the Mathemagician, "but you can be in Ignorance quick enough without riding all the way; and if you're to be successful, it will have to be step by step."
January 31, 2026 at 7:39 PM
Wise words for our time
"True enough," replied the Mathemagician, "but you can be in Ignorance quick enough without riding all the way; and if you're to be successful, it will have to be step by step."
January 31, 2026 at 5:03 PM
"True enough," replied the Mathemagician, "but you can be in Ignorance quick enough without riding all the way; and if you're to be successful, it will have to be step by step."
"But there is one problem even more serious than that," he whispered ominously.
"What is it?" gasped Milo, who was not sure he really wanted to know.
"I'm afraid I can tell you only when you return. Come along," said the Mathemagician
"What is it?" gasped Milo, who was not sure he really wanted to know.
"I'm afraid I can tell you only when you return. Come along," said the Mathemagician
January 31, 2026 at 2:02 PM
"But there is one problem even more serious than that," he whispered ominously.
"What is it?" gasped Milo, who was not sure he really wanted to know.
"I'm afraid I can tell you only when you return. Come along," said the Mathemagician
"What is it?" gasped Milo, who was not sure he really wanted to know.
"I'm afraid I can tell you only when you return. Come along," said the Mathemagician
"Then each of you agrees that he will disagree with whatever each of you agrees with," said Milo triumphantly; "and if you both disagree with the same thing, then aren't you really in agreement?"
"I'VE BEEN TRICKED!" cried the Mathemagician, for no matter how he figured, it came out just that way.
"I'VE BEEN TRICKED!" cried the Mathemagician, for no matter how he figured, it came out just that way.
January 30, 2026 at 11:00 PM
"Then each of you agrees that he will disagree with whatever each of you agrees with," said Milo triumphantly; "and if you both disagree with the same thing, then aren't you really in agreement?"
"I'VE BEEN TRICKED!" cried the Mathemagician, for no matter how he figured, it came out just that way.
"I'VE BEEN TRICKED!" cried the Mathemagician, for no matter how he figured, it came out just that way.
"My goodness," thought Milo, "everybody is so terribly sensitive about the things they know best."
January 30, 2026 at 8:02 PM
"My goodness," thought Milo, "everybody is so terribly sensitive about the things they know best."
Milo tried very hard to understand all the things he'd been told, and all the things he'd seen, and, as he spoke, one curious thing still bothered him.
"Why is it," he said quietly, "that quite often even the things which are correct just don't seem to be right?"
"Why is it," he said quietly, "that quite often even the things which are correct just don't seem to be right?"
January 30, 2026 at 5:04 PM
Milo tried very hard to understand all the things he'd been told, and all the things he'd seen, and, as he spoke, one curious thing still bothered him.
"Why is it," he said quietly, "that quite often even the things which are correct just don't seem to be right?"
"Why is it," he said quietly, "that quite often even the things which are correct just don't seem to be right?"
The Mathemagician nodded knowingly and stroked his chin several times. "You'll find," he remarked gently, "that the only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort."
January 30, 2026 at 2:04 PM
The Mathemagician nodded knowingly and stroked his chin several times. "You'll find," he remarked gently, "that the only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort."