tyches
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phatvsauce.bsky.social
tyches
@phatvsauce.bsky.social
the best borat impressionist you know (he/they)
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Amber Glenn, a queer Texan who started ice skating at the stonebriar mall in frisco at age 5, who plays magic the gathering, is an olympic gold medalist
February 8, 2026 at 10:45 PM
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this is so funny because it's like, oh my god, what an awful question for a news show. and then wham the answer is so much worse somehow
Doocy: "The new face of RealFood .gov is Mike Tyson. How did you settle on someone who was most famous for eating Evander Holyfield's ear?"

RFK Jr.: "Brett Ratner who helped produce the ad had a lifelong friendship with him."
February 9, 2026 at 3:11 AM
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call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas
February 9, 2026 at 1:25 AM
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Tough night for Pats fans. Zero points scored, halftime show wasn't in English, and your best player’s last name is “Gonzalez“
February 9, 2026 at 2:31 AM
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New York has a Muslim mayor; the Patriots are losing the Super Bowl. The Long 9/11 is finally coming to an end.
Feel bad for my patriot fan friends but this is a good omen for society
February 9, 2026 at 3:05 AM
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11 years ago, the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl on an insane goal line interception that opened a vortex to the McDonald’s Nazi hell we’ve lived in since. Tonight, with the Patriots defeat, we usher in the age of Woke 2
February 9, 2026 at 3:26 AM
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And Sam Darnold, who was NOT out indefinitely
February 9, 2026 at 3:32 AM
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February 9, 2026 at 3:29 AM
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charlie kirk didn’t even perform at the TPUSA half time show
February 9, 2026 at 2:06 AM
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honestly respect for the ad that’s just like “pokemon are cool.” they are cool
February 9, 2026 at 2:02 AM
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I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
What a moment.
February 9, 2026 at 2:11 AM
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so far tonight bad bunny has sung more reggaeton songs than the patriots and seahawks combined
February 9, 2026 at 1:38 AM
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i have been thinking about this nonstop after i saw it for the first time last night. this is an immaculately crafted joke. maybe the best joke ive ever seen
February 8, 2026 at 2:08 PM
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what conservatives angry about Bad Bunny look like
February 8, 2026 at 3:14 PM
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Please enjoy my most viral tweet of all time shared anew every year by dozens of slop aggregator accounts far and wide.
February 8, 2026 at 2:48 PM
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60 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider
February 8, 2026 at 5:47 PM
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GM: Charisma check.

Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]

GM: that’s a d6 how did you

Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
February 7, 2026 at 5:01 AM
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Every time Tycho is about to speak they should flash this image on screen beforehand
February 4, 2026 at 9:00 PM
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patient : doctor i am depressed .
doctor : solution is simple , watch the muppet show special with sabrina carpenter
patient : ohh good idea !! i actually perform as a clown named pagliacci so im big into comedy
February 5, 2026 at 6:53 AM
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Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af
February 4, 2026 at 8:59 PM
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My politics
January 31, 2026 at 8:09 PM
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Thinking about George Washington telling John Adams that pussy is low carb
January 31, 2026 at 6:48 PM
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look, what if we all pretend this never came out? just ignore one piece of history forever. I say we give it a try
January 31, 2026 at 7:14 AM
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I hate that this is all just easy to piece together from this guy's poorly-spelled emails
January 31, 2026 at 4:55 AM