Steven Perkins
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Steven Perkins
@stevenperkins.bsky.social
A bomb-diggy drum coming at ya with the poof (he/him)
Reposted by Steven Perkins
I once had a woman DM me on twitter saying "We should finally sort out our problems instead of letting this rule our lives". I had no idea who she was but when I looked at her feed it was over a year of her quoting, responding to and screenshotting my posts and describing me as "her harasser".
it's always crazy when you realize someone has been quietly fuming and building you up in their head as their sworn, eternal nemesis for months when you have no idea who they are
February 5, 2026 at 9:03 PM
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Any friend who borrows money and doesn't pay it back is debt to me.
February 5, 2026 at 9:11 PM
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😌
February 5, 2026 at 12:49 PM
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February 5, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Every microwave I’ve ever had at home: pretty intuitive, don’t even really need to read the manual

Every microwave I’ve ever encountered in a workplace: the most confusing thing you will ever see, an engineering degree is required just to reheat some soup
February 5, 2026 at 1:48 PM
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Respectful cum country. #Starmer
February 5, 2026 at 11:38 AM
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This abstract non-argumentation is going to be the death of me. Which ones. What are you criticising. Say it in real words you coward
February 5, 2026 at 12:14 PM
“core British values” like…?
Keir Starmer attacks the racism of Reform and Matt Goodwin but then adds that "Britain has also been let down by a mindset on the left of politics that is too slow to defend core British values"
February 5, 2026 at 12:35 PM
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Who could this be? Hmm…
February 5, 2026 at 5:16 AM
Is ‘I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)’ the first pop hit about realising your boyfriend is gay
February 5, 2026 at 10:38 AM
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Ok so couldn’t help but notice this guy in the pool changing rooms get dressed in this chaotic order..

T-shirt ➡️ sweatshirt ➡️ COAT ➡️ Hat ➡️ scarf ➡️ socks ➡️ jeans ➡️ shoes

What kind of psychopath?!
February 5, 2026 at 8:35 AM
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this is peak journalism *chefs kiss*
February 5, 2026 at 8:14 AM
Halle Berry having the plot of Heated Rivalry explained to her as “it’s about closeted hockey players who find love” and replying “a man and a woman?” has ended me youtu.be/AFtm52PP_io?...
Chris Hemsworth, Halle Berry & Mark Ruffalo Take The BuzzFeed Pub Quiz
YouTube video by BuzzFeed UK
youtu.be
February 4, 2026 at 11:18 PM
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Weird response to someone talking about their partner's immigration problems directly caused by Labour
February 4, 2026 at 9:50 PM
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Damn you’re telling me the technology that was very obviously intended for unregulated speculation and criminal enterprises was used to do awful things
February 4, 2026 at 9:38 AM
Not exactly a deep cut but for me it absolutely has to be ‘What Have I Done To Deserve This?’ by the Pet Shop Boys featuring Dusty Springfield
Deleted a post about “what’s your least favorite song” because the vibes are bad enough already.

Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?

Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
February 4, 2026 at 9:41 AM
incredible humiliation for me at the gym, I was looking for a particular weight and found it just as someone else picked it up.
Him: “oh, did you need this one?”
Me: “are you not using it?”
Him: “no, it’s OK, I’ll go a bit heavier…”
😭😬🫠
February 4, 2026 at 9:01 AM
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Also films tend to take at least several months to produce, making it all in one day is a pretty big ask.
You couldn't make The Fugitive today. Harrison Ford is too old
February 4, 2026 at 6:01 AM
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...horrifying message without context, thank you
February 2, 2026 at 10:42 AM
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February 3, 2026 at 6:14 PM
“What the fuck is this… the paedophile’s ball?” is such a great entrance line, I’m going to use it more often
exactly. this is not difficult.

as.ft.com/r/58ed1b23-d...
February 3, 2026 at 1:29 PM
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exactly. this is not difficult.

as.ft.com/r/58ed1b23-d...
February 3, 2026 at 1:21 PM
AI: “do you want me to summarise this folder”

Me: no, I want to open the folder and summarise it with my own eyes, a quaint process that I call “reading”
February 3, 2026 at 1:01 PM
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[explaining to a child why they are living in poverty] for every hundredth pint i drink i can get one free pint
fucking _hell_
February 3, 2026 at 12:49 PM