SpookyLizard
@swamplizard.bsky.social
3.7K followers 1.1K following 13K posts
Mostly post bad political jokes as some sort of coping mechanism.
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swamplizard.bsky.social
Me: The proof is in the pudding.

Detective: (muttering under his breath as he snaps on latex gloves) jesus christ
swamplizard.bsky.social
It's unsettling seeing some people's takes in a different aspect ratio. Their wild opinions shouldn't take up that much of my visual field.
swamplizard.bsky.social
well now I want him to do it
newsguy.bsky.social
The Guardian- The US president may impose tariffs, demand higher NATO contributions or even declare Norway an enemy, analyst says, if on Friday he is not awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. www.theguardian.com/world/202...
Norway braces for Trump’s reaction if he does not win Nobel peace prize
US president may impose tariffs, demand higher Nato contributions or even declare Norway an enemy, analyst says
www.theguardian.com
swamplizard.bsky.social
RFK Jr.: You can circumcise your baby, but you gotta give em the hard stuff
swamplizard.bsky.social
I have twelve essentially identical mexican restaurants within a stone's throw, down to the art on the menu. If my car ever breaks down, I have something predictable to eat until help arrives?
swamplizard.bsky.social
If people get upset, do you tell them to be quiet, this is a library
swamplizard.bsky.social
If you give a hamburger help, it will have help for a day. If you teach a hamburger to help, you get cheeseburger macaroni for the rest of your life
swamplizard.bsky.social
They’ve had enough of woke popes focusing only on liberal parts of the Bible, like helping the homeless, having humility, and self-sacrifice. It’s time to have a conservative pope that focuses on the right wing parts of the Bible that say climate change is a hoax and is pro-antisemitic conspiracies.
sjjphd.bsky.social
“divisive issues” 🫠
washingtonpost.com
As Pope Leo begins to reveal some of his views on divisive issues, some conservative critics of his predecessor are rejecting the possible rise of another “liberal pope.”
swamplizard.bsky.social
All we need is someone who stands by their morals by virtue of the morals being intentionally effortless to stand by
swamplizard.bsky.social
My fiancée, whom I love, has a severe fish allergy. But sometimes she goes out of town and I get to party a lil.
A red square plate with crab stuffed salmon, chipotle shrimp, mixed wild rice, sautéed asparagus, and a sweet potato.
Reposted by SpookyLizard
heathercherone.bsky.social
At issue is what is actually happening at Broadview, Perry says.
Local law enforcement agencies say the protests are under control, while federal officials say they present an urgent threat.
Perry: "DHS' perception of events are simply unreliable."
Reposted by SpookyLizard
heathercherone.bsky.social
Perry: Four (4) federal judges have issued rulings in the past two (2) days in separate cases that cast significant doubt on federal officials' "credibility and assessment of what is happening on the streets of Chicago."
swamplizard.bsky.social
On a drive I often take there’s a series of billboards for “JUNGLE LAW” and it’s people in suits with like vines and cheetahs and monkeys behind them, this is who I’d go with.
swamplizard.bsky.social
You don’t get the right ratio of REM that way, she can’t keep living like this
Reposted by SpookyLizard
swamplizard.bsky.social
Who was the big spoon
rightwingwatch.bsky.social
A tearful Kim Robinson reports that God showed her that Charlie Kirk was rewarded with a horse ranch in Heaven and she saw "Charlie riding on a horse, with Jesus."
swamplizard.bsky.social
Suddenly this dream is a nightmare
swamplizard.bsky.social
Also I don’t think horses go to heaven in the Bible, are these bespoke heaven horses
swamplizard.bsky.social
Who was the big spoon
rightwingwatch.bsky.social
A tearful Kim Robinson reports that God showed her that Charlie Kirk was rewarded with a horse ranch in Heaven and she saw "Charlie riding on a horse, with Jesus."
swamplizard.bsky.social
“I want a girl who gets up early,
I want a girl who stays up late”

she’s gotta sleep sometime, bro
swamplizard.bsky.social
We have quite an epidemic of people who seem very committed to working against their own safety and interests, unfortunately. Kind of the defining quality of the Trump era imo
swamplizard.bsky.social
“I’m gonna placenta her a baby” yeah checks out
swamplizard.bsky.social
“Just don’t make eye contact honey.”