SwampLizard
@swamplizard.bsky.social
SLP. PhD student in Neuro. This account is mostly for posting bad political jokes as some sort of coping mechanism.
Reposted by SwampLizard
Trump: i have information about my assassination attempt that would shatter your understanding of recent history
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
This is a lot, but (allegedly) Olivia Nuzzi sent a secret recorder with a sketch artist to tape Trump at Mar-a-Lago so she could feed campaign intel to RFK, where [pauses to take a breath] something Trump said about his assassination attempt “would shatter our understanding of recent history”??
November 26, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Trump: i have information about my assassination attempt that would shatter your understanding of recent history
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
Trump: i have information about my assassination attempt that would shatter your understanding of recent history
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
This is a lot, but (allegedly) Olivia Nuzzi sent a secret recorder with a sketch artist to tape Trump at Mar-a-Lago so she could feed campaign intel to RFK, where [pauses to take a breath] something Trump said about his assassination attempt “would shatter our understanding of recent history”??
November 26, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Trump: i have information about my assassination attempt that would shatter your understanding of recent history
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
Izzy: what is it?
Trump: they said that I’m quicker than JFK, that I have reflexes like they’ve never seen
Setting up a global direct democracy system that says what we’re allowed to post about. Breathing, blinking, and yawning are approved, but borderline and potentially exclusive. 51.4% of global citizens like pumpkin pie, so we can mention that with proper qualifications.
November 26, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Setting up a global direct democracy system that says what we’re allowed to post about. Breathing, blinking, and yawning are approved, but borderline and potentially exclusive. 51.4% of global citizens like pumpkin pie, so we can mention that with proper qualifications.
Reposted by SwampLizard
This is why people spent/saved more during Lockdown.
It wasn’t the stimulus checks, it was not being required to spend all that money just to survive.
It wasn’t the stimulus checks, it was not being required to spend all that money just to survive.
November 26, 2025 at 2:13 PM
This is why people spent/saved more during Lockdown.
It wasn’t the stimulus checks, it was not being required to spend all that money just to survive.
It wasn’t the stimulus checks, it was not being required to spend all that money just to survive.
My card game of choice is Go Fish even though it’s libertarian-coded
November 26, 2025 at 10:18 PM
My card game of choice is Go Fish even though it’s libertarian-coded
A little bit of a hair trigger there, bud. You weren't, like, waiting for weeks and weeks to fire this one off? Planned it out in your head the second you decided to send them in, just waiting to wax poetic about the tragic loss and amp up the crisis you helped create? Just seem a little impatient-
The governor of West Virginia is now walking back his initial post, where he stated two National Guard members died after being shot
November 26, 2025 at 9:23 PM
A little bit of a hair trigger there, bud. You weren't, like, waiting for weeks and weeks to fire this one off? Planned it out in your head the second you decided to send them in, just waiting to wax poetic about the tragic loss and amp up the crisis you helped create? Just seem a little impatient-
my tin foil is hattening
November 26, 2025 at 9:11 PM
my tin foil is hattening
devs please add button to have the AI use the glucose in my brain, why am I paying you all to use my own ATP
November 26, 2025 at 9:10 PM
devs please add button to have the AI use the glucose in my brain, why am I paying you all to use my own ATP
Reposted by SwampLizard
not beating the “AI art is lazy” allegations
November 26, 2025 at 7:47 PM
not beating the “AI art is lazy” allegations
White House probably has a detailed 15-point plan exactly this going down. They've been desperate for pretext, starting doing all of this to create conditions for pretext, so I guess we'll see what happens next. Nothing changes the (non-existent) legal or moral merit of what they've done, though.
November 26, 2025 at 8:11 PM
White House probably has a detailed 15-point plan exactly this going down. They've been desperate for pretext, starting doing all of this to create conditions for pretext, so I guess we'll see what happens next. Nothing changes the (non-existent) legal or moral merit of what they've done, though.
“This is a tasty, highly digestible, long-lasting chew treat for dogs.”
Does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s specially formulated for heavy chewers, yet safe for sensitive stomachs.”
But does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s the most durable treat on our line-up!”
6 mins?
“About 6, yeah.”
Does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s specially formulated for heavy chewers, yet safe for sensitive stomachs.”
But does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s the most durable treat on our line-up!”
6 mins?
“About 6, yeah.”
November 26, 2025 at 7:54 PM
“This is a tasty, highly digestible, long-lasting chew treat for dogs.”
Does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s specially formulated for heavy chewers, yet safe for sensitive stomachs.”
But does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s the most durable treat on our line-up!”
6 mins?
“About 6, yeah.”
Does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s specially formulated for heavy chewers, yet safe for sensitive stomachs.”
But does it last more than 5 mins?
“It’s the most durable treat on our line-up!”
6 mins?
“About 6, yeah.”
Getting the house ready to have family over:
I abominate all honorable respectable toils, trials, and tribulations of every kind whatsoever. It is quite as much as I can do
November 26, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Getting the house ready to have family over:
Hot, probably unpopular take: OG Wizard of Oz film is mid. It was just the Avatar of its time. It hasn’t justified this many spin offs.
if no one ever mentions the wizard of oz ever again until the end of time it will still be too much wizard of oz
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Hot, probably unpopular take: OG Wizard of Oz film is mid. It was just the Avatar of its time. It hasn’t justified this many spin offs.
Reposted by SwampLizard
I think we can safely say that the Leavitt's brother called ICE on his ex, the mother of his child, and I have to say: I have no desire to respect, find common ground or share the country with these monsters.
“After Ferreira was detained, Dos Santos Rodrigues said Michael Leavitt Sr. and his father, Bob Leavitt, reached out to her.”
“‘They just kept saying, ‘Tell her to self-deport,’” she recalled. “Self-deport to where? Brazil is not her home.’” www.bostonglobe.com/2025/11/26/m...
“‘They just kept saying, ‘Tell her to self-deport,’” she recalled. “Self-deport to where? Brazil is not her home.’” www.bostonglobe.com/2025/11/26/m...
‘Brazil is not her home.’ Mother of Karoline Leavitt’s nephew, brought to US as child, detained by ICE. - The Boston Globe
Bruna Ferreira, 33, was brought to the United States as a child in 1998. She is now in removal proceedings in Louisiana.
www.bostonglobe.com
November 26, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I think we can safely say that the Leavitt's brother called ICE on his ex, the mother of his child, and I have to say: I have no desire to respect, find common ground or share the country with these monsters.
Low Tpublican
November 26, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Low Tpublican
when raccoons steal a draft of my thesis on pet domestication from the trash
Why do we find our pets so cute? Bold, bin-raiding raccoons may have a surprising answer | Helen Pilcher
Why do we find our pets so cute? Bold, bin-raiding raccoons may have a surprising answer | Helen Pilcher
Known for bold raids on urban bins, raccoons are becoming more domesticated – so how they look will gradually change, says science writer Helen Pilcher
www.theguardian.com
November 26, 2025 at 2:19 PM
when raccoons steal a draft of my thesis on pet domestication from the trash
*Everyone looks back and forth. Someone asks if they should call a doctor. JD Vance very timidly pokes him with a long stick*
November 26, 2025 at 12:17 AM
*Everyone looks back and forth. Someone asks if they should call a doctor. JD Vance very timidly pokes him with a long stick*
Reposted by SwampLizard
sports betting for people who don't watch sports, and it's just betting on whether or not some made up name is actually a sport
November 25, 2025 at 11:29 PM
sports betting for people who don't watch sports, and it's just betting on whether or not some made up name is actually a sport
sports betting for people who don't watch sports, and it's just betting on whether or not some made up name is actually a sport
November 25, 2025 at 11:29 PM
sports betting for people who don't watch sports, and it's just betting on whether or not some made up name is actually a sport
In times like these, we should stop entertaining divisive discourse over food and focus on topics we call all agree on, like genres of music.
November 25, 2025 at 11:18 PM
In times like these, we should stop entertaining divisive discourse over food and focus on topics we call all agree on, like genres of music.
No one/thing affiliated with hot pockets should have the right to vote.
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
can’t fucking catch a breath
make it stop
make it stop
November 25, 2025 at 10:35 PM
No one/thing affiliated with hot pockets should have the right to vote.
My contribution to the discourse: I legit don’t like any pie. I don’t like fruit that’s been cooked. Hot fruit is just revolting. I also don’t like any sort of breading that comes into contact with wet stuff and gets even marginally soggy. Pie was created in a lab to make my skin crawl.
November 25, 2025 at 10:11 PM
My contribution to the discourse: I legit don’t like any pie. I don’t like fruit that’s been cooked. Hot fruit is just revolting. I also don’t like any sort of breading that comes into contact with wet stuff and gets even marginally soggy. Pie was created in a lab to make my skin crawl.
The fact that you woke up with a roof over your head and got to participate in the miracle of life thru the rich conceptual understanding of a human being, possibly unique among animals & the entire universe, isn’t enough for you?
grandma: no we, we just like save those dishes for special occasions
grandma: no we, we just like save those dishes for special occasions
November 25, 2025 at 10:01 PM
The fact that you woke up with a roof over your head and got to participate in the miracle of life thru the rich conceptual understanding of a human being, possibly unique among animals & the entire universe, isn’t enough for you?
grandma: no we, we just like save those dishes for special occasions
grandma: no we, we just like save those dishes for special occasions
Reposted by SwampLizard
I'm looking forward to the post collapse dystopia if only to stop hearing about how it's ok to use statistics about voting to find the untermensch during an era where consensus reality and epistemics are under constant unrelenting siege by vulture capital news media and apps that generate psychosis
November 25, 2025 at 9:33 PM
I'm looking forward to the post collapse dystopia if only to stop hearing about how it's ok to use statistics about voting to find the untermensch during an era where consensus reality and epistemics are under constant unrelenting siege by vulture capital news media and apps that generate psychosis
Reposted by SwampLizard
