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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

@thedanklark.bsky.social

1.1K followers 770 following 9.1K posts

A large, fur-bearing, bipedal mammal from Northern New England. I’ve got nowhere to be and all the time in the world to get there. I’m not looking for a handout, but I’ll never say no to a free meal. Venmo & Cash App: danmofftarkin PayPal: thedanklark

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 24d

Hey everybody, check out this unfortunately-titled children’s book I saw at the grocery store today

A monster-themed parody of Goodnight Moon titled Goodnight Goon: A Petrifying Parody by Michael Rex

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 10h

Ah, I thought you might’ve meant Warner Bros since they own DC and just wrote the wrong studio.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

You’re just bitter that the Soviets didn’t uphold the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.

Reposted by Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 11h

Lmaoooo. Major move. Were not even 5 minutes into this thing and she trots out the corpse of Hillary, Tony and Mike Pompeo to talk about something all 3 of them have already fucked up on their own.

max tani @maxtani.bsky.social · 11h

New: Bari Weiss booked Hillary Clinton, Mike Pompeo, and Antony Blinken for a roundtable on Gaza, her first major move at CBS.

Notably on a CBS call today in which the panel was floated, one producer also repeatedly emphasized the need to hear from Palestinians in Gaza (Weiss did not respond).

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

No amount of dressing your ChatGPT boner up in social justice language will ever make it anything more than a ChatGPT boner.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

Oh god, one of those “Gen AI will cure disabilities” types. Fucking hate them.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

ChatGPT is not a disability aid just because you call it one. I know people who’d call their crackpipes a “disability aid” because they smoke it to cope with chronic pain from being physically disabled.

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Reposted by Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 11h

we're maybe a week away from burr posting an ai video of george carlin saying he wouldve gone if he could

Karl Bode @karlbode.com · 19h

always double down

Bill Burr Keeps Cycling Through Excuses For Doing The Riyadh Comedy Festival | Defector

By default, Bill Burr exists in a state of his ass being chapped, but clearly it’s been feeling more chapped than usual. The comedian has continued to address his decision to perform at the Riyadh Com...

defector.com

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

Has he not seen any news coverage of the Middle East since Gulf War I, or…

Reposted by Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

Kendra "Gloom is My Beat" Pierre-Louis @kendrawrites.com · 11h

There's a social media trend of people attempting to run marathons with zero training and a take that really resonated with me is doing this means that you never really fail. I think the AI people have a similar mentality. They want to be able to say they have done a thing without doing it

Faine Greenwood @faineg.bsky.social · 12h

there’s this weird idea a lot of people seem to have about how all of us writers and artists must secretly want to use AI and are merely resisting temptation for ethical reasons, and like, no, it’s not hard for me to resist drinking the bowl of Piss With Glass In It actually

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

Paramount?

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

I think all these dudes have served me $13 microbrews at bars that I never went back to.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

Maybe it’s like that weird hangup Ben Shapiro had with AOC for a few years, where you can tell he just really really wanted to fuck her but knew he never could so he resented her for it.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 11h

So what you’re saying is, you fully approve of everything ICE is doing.

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Reposted by Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

Jess O'Thomson @jessothomson.co.uk · 23h

It cannot be made clearer.

If you continue to support the Harry Potter franchise in any way, you are directly funding the removal of trans people's human rights in the UK.

JK Rowling pledges to keep up fight against SNP trans policies

Author vows to bankroll campaigners after Scottish government fails to pay group's legal fees in Supreme Court equality case

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 12h

Tobe Hooper kinda got shanghaied into directing it after Canon cut the budget and decided to make it as loud and dumb as possible. It’s kinda like going to a grindcore show.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 12h

I totally see where you’re coming from because I usually can’t stand that level of sustained hysterics, but I actually really enjoy Caroline Williams’ performance in this. It just adds to the cartoony, bugnuts-crazy atmosphere.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 13h

His bio said something about blocking anyone who asked him for money in any context and for any reason, so I asked him for money and he blocked me. Good stuff.

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 13h

“Sorry boss, can’t come to work today. Yeah, baby in the placenta. AGAIN.”

Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 14h

"Somebody showed me a TikTok video of a pregnant woman eight months pregnant—she is an associate professor at the Columbia Medical School—and she is saying 'eff Trump' and gobbling Tylenol with her baby in her placenta."

gizmodo.com/rfk-jr-compl...

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 13h

Give me money.

Reposted by Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 14h

Homer winning the prize of industrial chimney sweep and being excited and then being shoved into an industrial chimney

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 15h

Is that pud still going? He finally blocked me like 18 hours after first saying he was blocking me.

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 17h

Dear men of Portland, ME,

Nobody should be able to taste your cologne from two feet away, outdoors, upwind of you. Go home, take a shower, and try again.

Love,
Everyone with a functioning nose

Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 22h

I once had an apartment with hardwired smoke/CO2 alarms and I got so confused when one started beeping, I called my landlord and he was just as baffled as me. So we started taking it apart and it turned out it had a backup battery for power outages.

Reposted by Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark

Erin Fogg says Free Link @criminalerin.bsky.social · 22h

Good morning to everyone who did not change the secret third smoke alarm battery yesterday bc the secret third smoke alarm is in a closet (??!!) thus woke up to even more fucking BEEPING only (me, good morning to me)

Erin Fogg says Free Link @criminalerin.bsky.social · 1d

😤

It's the Anakin Padme meme. Anakin is now a smoke detector saying I don't have enough energy to tell u if there's a fire. Padme happily asks So u don't have enough energy to make a shill loud beep every minute for years? Then she looks worried, and asks again: U don't have the energy to make a shill loud beep every minute for years, right? To which Anakin the smoke detector replies BEEP

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Dan K. “Insert Spooky Name Here” Lark @thedanklark.bsky.social · 22h

Hell, I had to see a plastic surgeon to get a lipoma removed just because it was close enough to my eye that my regular doctor didn’t want to take any chances.