Aristophan
LightNews LightNews
aristophan.bsky.social
Aristophan
@aristophan.bsky.social
14 followers 28 following 5 posts
He/They
Posts Replies Media Videos
Reposted by Aristophan
troyg.bsky.social
Screen cap from movie “Galaxy Quest”. Alan Rickman in heavy alien makeup angrily says “See, that’s your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.”
December 22, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
catacalypto.bsky.social
A story Stoppard told several times, in several places:
"Years and years ago, there was a production of The Tempest, out of doors, at an Oxford college on a lawn, which was the stage, and the lawn went back towards the lake in the grounds of the college, and the play began in natural light. But as it developed, and as it became time for Ariel to say his farewell to the world of The Tempest, the evening had started to close in and there was some artificial lighting coming on. And as Ariel uttered his last speech, he turned and he ran across the grass, and he got to the edge of the lake and he just kept running across the top of the water — the producer having thoughtfully provided a kind of walkway an inch beneath the water. And you could see and you could hear the plish, plash as he ran away from you across the top of the lake, until the gloom enveloped him and he disappeared from your view. And as he did so, from the further shore, a firework rocket was ignited, and it went whoosh into the air, and high up there it burst into lots of sparks, and all the sparks went out, and he had gone. "When you look up the stage directions, it says, 'Exit Ariel.”
November 29, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
troyg.bsky.social
November 2, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Reposted by Aristophan
robotparking.kvlt.rip
MINA THE CAT: Mina stagnant shower water. Thirsty Mina delicious water.
MY PARTNER: No, Mina. You can't have shower water.
MINA: good shower water good Mina give thirsty Mina deserve cat
PARTNER: Mina, we have filtered water in a bowl. It won't make you sick.
MINA: spare human
Mina looking thirsty
September 26, 2024 at 3:43 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
matpiscatella.bsky.social
I set mobo jumpers, paid $300 for a Riva 128 and jumped on voodoo 2 sli the day it came out to get 10 extra frames in idtech games and if you love messing with settings and installing all kinds of crazy stuff I salute and respect you but damn I'm over 50 now and I ain't got that kinda time left heh.
July 12, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
benedictg.bsky.social
Eden's Gay (Savage)
#FF14 #FFXIV
June 14, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
troyg.bsky.social
There were so many great pitchers in the 90s, but only one of them killed a bird mid-flight.
theathletic.com The Athletic @theathletic.com · Jun 2
The Big Unit is set to be immortalized forever in Seattle.

The Mariners are retiring Randy Johnson's No. 51 jersey in 2026.
June 2, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
annabookwriter.bsky.social
Never not repost 80s Mullet Barbie Legolas and Circuit City Middle Manager Aragorn
The 1980s cover of The Two Towers. Legolas, who looks like a mulleted human extra from Baywatch in ren faire clothes, sets his hand on Gimli’s shoulder. He looks like a cross between Cousin It and an utterly jacked death metal fan in a green T-shirt. He either looks uncomfortable or into it. The 1980s cover of The Return of the King. Discount Party City Knight Aragorn holds his fist to his chest. He is inexplicably clean shaven with short dark hair and a…winged silver egg hat. The hobbits crowd behind him like they’re about to drop an 80s pop album. Gandalf definitely looks like he drives a van with a wizard painted on the side. His eyebrows are out of control. Aragorn looks like he’s going to cry and like he’s a 42 year old IT guy named Craig.
May 26, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Reposted by Aristophan
vaporlight.bsky.social
ever wondered about what ranking officers in the us civil war were like? good news. there's not that many types of them. here you go
TYPES OF CIVIL WAR OFFICER 1. Autism's strongest soldier. Has a personality disorder but lives in an era where psychiatric medicine consists largely of laudanum and different temperatures of bath. Famously effective, enduringly divisive. Postwar career: promoted far beyond the level of their incompetence or skeletized remains in a ditch somewhere (Grant, Jackson, Longstreet) 2. Messy bitch who loves drama. Actively worse leadership than pointing anyone who shows up with a gun in a direction and telling them to go nuts. All things being equal, every commissioned officer rank will be occupied by these guys in peacetime and arguably a large part of the gradual snowballing success of the Union consisted of more vigorous sectional politics weeding them out faster. Postwar career: photographed in uniform and maybe a very tedious statue and biography or two (McClellan, Lee, Rosecrans) 2a. Messy bitch who loves drama prestige class unlocked after Antietam: messy bitch who loves drama and also loves posing for photographs and has become good at it. Would be very good at dying gallantly in a meaningless charge into a fortified German trench, but is tragically too early for it. Postwar career: universal admiration followed by complete historical oblivion a generation after their death (Burnside, Bragg, Hood) 2b. Messy bitch who loves drama prestige class unlocked after Chancellorsville: submissive and breedable partyboy inexplicably wearing stars. Each army gets exactly one; reporters love them, nobody exactly hates them, but when the red mist dies down historians unanimously agree they were a liability. Postwar career: who cares (Custer, Beauregard) 3. Ideologue. The higher the ideologue gets in the chain of command, the less interesting they are as officers qua officers. The ideology is usually just racism, but there were also a few extremely weird German communists exiled to the Midwest who imprinted on the Union like a lost baby bird. Every Confederate officer you've never heard of but have seen statues of is this guy; they treat war as posting by other means. Postwar career: forum avatar (Early, Sherman) 4. Fighting Joe. For whatever reason, the officer's contemporaries have decided a fine thing to call him going forward is "Fighting Joe", and now here we are. You are watching Fighting Joe, the worst general officer in the American civil war. Postwar career: being Fighting Joe (Hooker, Wheeler) 5. Steppe warlord junior varsity. A late development, largely on the Confederate side; these officers, like a dog fed on human flesh, have decided they're done with civilization and, after a failed attempt to inaugurate iron-fisted strongman rule over a random scrap of the deep South, keep wandering off into places they consider uncivilized and being just about as useless there as they were in Arkansas or wherever. Postwar career: incarceration in a Turkish prison (Kirby Smith, Sibley, Norris) 6. Dark triad sicko. Perfectly functional within an organization if properly contained, but if left to their own devices will absolutely start rounding up civilians and doing Saw shit, and you just gotta account for that when having a civil war. Postwar career: bedwetting and starting fires (Forrest, Butler)
May 24, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Reposted by Aristophan
mobute.bsky.social
Whether Pete Rose ultimately makes the Hall of Fame is not really the issue. What's happening here is the further colonization of everything in our world by the diseased mind of America's foremost malignant bozo.
Sleazeballs - Truthdig
Pete Rose, Rob Manfred and the craven politics of Major League Baseball.
www.truthdig.com
May 15, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
iamhectordiaz.com
A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope
May 8, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
rogueoflighttv.bsky.social
CHAT MY STREAM ROOM IS VERY SMALL 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
May 2, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
matttomic.bsky.social
thank you to the Toronto Blue Jays for just posting a bunch of their players holding Squirtle, this is what I needed
Daulton Varsho of the Toronto Blue Jays holding a Squirtle plushie. He's staring dead into the camera with a polite, forced smile but doesn't seem quite sure who Squirtle is. Yariel Rodriguez, in the NIGHT MODE Blue Jays jersey, holds Squirtle with two hands as if he's been asked by Nardwuar to hold up a vinyl record and explain it. He looks a bit perplexed. Alejandro Kirk holds Squirtle with a big, happy smile. This guy Squirtles. Nathan Lukes of the Blue Jays holds up Squirtle. He's delighted. He can't wait to EXP this bad boy up to a Wartortle.
March 2, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
pattonoswalt.bsky.social
The marginal details of the David Lynch memorial at the Burbank Bob’s Big Boy are what make it.
January 18, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
priscillapage.bsky.social
was mostly keeping it together until I read Kyle MacLachlan's tribute to David Lynch
"Forty-two years ago, for reasons beyond my comprehension, David Lynch plucked me out of obscurity to star in his first and last big budget movie. He clearly saw something in me that even I didn’t recognize. I owe my entire career, and life really, to his vision. What I saw in him was an enigmatic and intuitive man with a creative ocean bursting forth inside of him. He was in touch with something the rest of us wish we could get to. Our friendship blossomed on Blue Velvet and then Twin Peaks and I always found him to be the most authentically alive person I’d ever met. David was in tune with the universe and his own imagination on a level that seemed to be the best version of human. He was not interested in answers because he understood that questions are the drive that make us who we are. They are our breath. While the world has lost a remarkable artist, I’ve lost a dear friend who imagined a future for me and allowed me to travel in worlds I could never have conceived on my own. I can see him now, standing up to greet me in his backyard, with a warm smile and big hug and that Great Plains honk of a voice. We’d talk coffee, the joy of the unexpected, the beauty of the world, and laugh. His love for me and mine for him came out of the cosmic fate of two people who saw the best things about themselves in each other. I will miss him more than the limits of my language can tell and my heart can bear. My world is that much fuller because I knew him and that much emptier now that he’s gone. David, I remain forever changed, and forever your Kale. Thank you for everything."
January 16, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
tomatograndpa.bsky.social
There's one objectively correct answer here.
December 23, 2024 at 1:30 AM
Reposted by Aristophan
craigcalcaterra.bsky.social
Non-paywalled post. Rest in peace Rickey Henderson. The greatest leadoff man of all time.

www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...
Cup of Coffee Extra: Rickey Henderson: 1958-2024
The greatest leadoff man of all time has passed away
www.cupofcoffeenews.com
December 21, 2024 at 7:47 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
jimgetz.bsky.social
Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?

Assyriologist: Du[ring] grad sch[ool] I [took?] a position ... [13 lines illegible] ... now.
December 20, 2024 at 8:36 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
scriblit.bsky.social
He's hiring a ship
He's packing his cloak
He's moving to England
To follow some bloke
Dracula is coming to town
December 14, 2024 at 6:35 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
honzogonzo.bsky.social
FFXIV Mobile
November 20, 2024 at 2:59 AM
Reposted by Aristophan
jmritchey.bsky.social
When NBC premiered The Empire Strikes back on the Sunday Night Movie they had James Earl Jones record new audio to act like the broadcast was a transmission from the Empire. www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHzV...
The Empire Strikes Back NBC Intro* [HD]
YouTube video by GrandJediMaster7860
www.youtube.com
September 9, 2024 at 9:15 PM
Reposted by Aristophan
troyg.bsky.social
December 16, 2023 at 3:30 AM