I'll be sad to see Trent go, but it's not bitterness to say as good as I think he is I just can't see Madrid working out. I just don't think his temperament is right for this kind of move.

if i was there? on that hill with them soldiers? it wouldn't have gone down like that.

I've created a calculator that gives you the right answer 80% of the time and I believe it will change the world

I'd be fairly relaxed about letting Nunez go if we invest the money into some sort of Million Dollar Man type operation on Jota so he's fit for more than 40% of a season.

Love how Chappers seems a cut above on the BBC RL coverage but when he's doing Carabao cup at the same level it comes across weirdly relaxed and aloof.

“Haha can you believe McDonalds is doing a Squid Game promo” easily yes because capital subsumes all critiques of itself and no popular TV show or piece of art will ever threaten or unsettle it

"You there boy! Do you know Chester's Shop on the corner? Have they sold the prize Flamin' Hot hanging up in the window?"

"The one as big as me? It's hanging there now!"

"Go and buy it, boy, and I'll give you a shilling! Come back in less than five minutes, and I'll give you half a crown!"

My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?

Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord

The media are so outraged by this they've forgotten how to spell.

It's always the ones you most expect.

Walton Goggins standing over me with his boot firmly planted on my neck, slicing an apple with a switchblade. "Now it seems to me... someone needs to learn their times tables." Neither one of us has any idea what he means in this scenario.

You drive a hard bargain but I reluctantly accept your terms

i bet in heaven if you're driving around and see your buddy stepping out of a store you're allowed to plow your car into him as a joke