I was supposed to give the dog a bath but instead I trimmed two trees, ripped up the weeds growing under our pergola, pressure washed the front porch, screen door, and front door
September 7, 2025 at 8:11 PM
I was supposed to give the dog a bath but instead I trimmed two trees, ripped up the weeds growing under our pergola, pressure washed the front porch, screen door, and front door
Reposted by Ibsel
No blessing or dismissal is added.
June 14, 2025 at 4:25 AM
No blessing or dismissal is added.
Reposted by Ibsel
“Our autopsy found the Holy Father had a substantial amount of Eucharist in his system— roughly four times the legal limit—at the time of death,” said Fernando Ruini
theonion.com/vatican...
theonion.com/vatican...
Vatican Coroner Confirms Eucharistic Overdose
VATICAN CITY—In a stunning discovery that revealed the full extent of the pontiff’s addiction, Vatican coroner Fernando Ruini released a report Thursday confirming Pope Francis died of a eucharistic overdose. “Our autopsy found the Holy Father had a substantial amount of Eucharist in his system— roughly four times the legal limit—at the time of death,” […]
theonion.com
April 25, 2025 at 12:30 AM
“Our autopsy found the Holy Father had a substantial amount of Eucharist in his system— roughly four times the legal limit—at the time of death,” said Fernando Ruini
theonion.com/vatican...
theonion.com/vatican...
Just overheard my punk ass next door neighbors getting yelled at
"What?? You wanna drive your meth mobile to go get some fucking cheetos??"
"What?? You wanna drive your meth mobile to go get some fucking cheetos??"
April 25, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Just overheard my punk ass next door neighbors getting yelled at
"What?? You wanna drive your meth mobile to go get some fucking cheetos??"
"What?? You wanna drive your meth mobile to go get some fucking cheetos??"
Reposted by Ibsel
Find a man who loves you as much as Katya hates Emilia Perez.
February 15, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Find a man who loves you as much as Katya hates Emilia Perez.
Reposted by Ibsel
all godly Princes
January 23, 2025 at 10:45 PM
all godly Princes
Reposted by Ibsel
Me, 15 minutes into caramelizing onions
Not sure I’m cut out for this.
January 24, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Me, 15 minutes into caramelizing onions
Me: on a scale of 1-10 how brave am I for scraping snow off our cars?
My wife: I would say 75% as brave as Christ
My wife: I would say 75% as brave as Christ
January 24, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Me: on a scale of 1-10 how brave am I for scraping snow off our cars?
My wife: I would say 75% as brave as Christ
My wife: I would say 75% as brave as Christ
Reposted by Ibsel
the gloom of sin
January 16, 2025 at 6:45 AM
the gloom of sin
My dad asked me if I was working today. I've been a church music director for 7 years and a staff church musician for 4 years before that. Yes, I'm working Christmas Eve.
December 25, 2024 at 12:17 AM
My dad asked me if I was working today. I've been a church music director for 7 years and a staff church musician for 4 years before that. Yes, I'm working Christmas Eve.
Reposted by Ibsel
Charlie Brown was so real for being depressed during Christmas time.
December 22, 2024 at 2:22 AM
Charlie Brown was so real for being depressed during Christmas time.
Reposted by Ibsel
Beef Wellington is just a corn dog from a different socioeconomic background.
December 22, 2024 at 2:17 AM
Beef Wellington is just a corn dog from a different socioeconomic background.
Reposted by Ibsel
Starbucks can count their fucking days for discontinuing their toffee nut syrup.
December 19, 2024 at 2:31 PM
Starbucks can count their fucking days for discontinuing their toffee nut syrup.
Reposted by Ibsel
david oh my god do NOT play that boring-ass chord. the lord will hate that shit. it will NOT please him. try this one instead. it's secret 😉 🤫
December 2, 2024 at 8:10 PM
david oh my god do NOT play that boring-ass chord. the lord will hate that shit. it will NOT please him. try this one instead. it's secret 😉 🤫
Reposted by Ibsel
I’ve waited 50 years to see War sing “Why Can’t We Be Friends” with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and today that dream came true 🥲
November 28, 2024 at 3:17 PM
I’ve waited 50 years to see War sing “Why Can’t We Be Friends” with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and today that dream came true 🥲
Reposted by Ibsel
my biggest issue with Bublé singing Santa buddy instead of Santa baby is the arrogance to preemptively reject Santa’s advances. You’re friend zoning St Nick when in reality you should BE so lucky that he’d let you explore his body
November 29, 2024 at 1:46 AM
my biggest issue with Bublé singing Santa buddy instead of Santa baby is the arrogance to preemptively reject Santa’s advances. You’re friend zoning St Nick when in reality you should BE so lucky that he’d let you explore his body
Reposted by Ibsel
A Hallmark movie where their hands meet inside the turkey.
November 28, 2024 at 4:51 PM
A Hallmark movie where their hands meet inside the turkey.