OLD CRIED PANTS
@captainfartpants.bsky.social
Careless Discharge
Groundhog Day- same as yesterday, different side of the family, so I'll bust my ass making another 5lbs of steakhouse quality mashed potatoes this morning. Then we hang out around someone else's house for 5-6 hours.
Bonus is 2AM wakeup, aspirating stomach acid reflux, so had that going for me
Bonus is 2AM wakeup, aspirating stomach acid reflux, so had that going for me
November 28, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Groundhog Day- same as yesterday, different side of the family, so I'll bust my ass making another 5lbs of steakhouse quality mashed potatoes this morning. Then we hang out around someone else's house for 5-6 hours.
Bonus is 2AM wakeup, aspirating stomach acid reflux, so had that going for me
Bonus is 2AM wakeup, aspirating stomach acid reflux, so had that going for me
Turkey day bread basket all finished!
November 26, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Turkey day bread basket all finished!
After the pre-bake, we're getting there - I'm gonna slow roast it overnight at 450, and it should be perfect to carve up at noon tomorrow when it pops out of the oven! First try at cooking a bird, and it's going perfect.
November 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
After the pre-bake, we're getting there - I'm gonna slow roast it overnight at 450, and it should be perfect to carve up at noon tomorrow when it pops out of the oven! First try at cooking a bird, and it's going perfect.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
White House Touts Affordability Of Hay-Based Thanksgiving Dishes https://theonion.com/white-house-touts-affordability-of-hay-based-thanksgiving-dishes/
November 26, 2025 at 7:00 PM
White House Touts Affordability Of Hay-Based Thanksgiving Dishes https://theonion.com/white-house-touts-affordability-of-hay-based-thanksgiving-dishes/
It's close enough to Christmas for parents to sit down with the little tykes and watch Last Exit to Brooklyn and get ready for the joy.
November 26, 2025 at 1:49 AM
It's close enough to Christmas for parents to sit down with the little tykes and watch Last Exit to Brooklyn and get ready for the joy.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
risa furry convention
November 25, 2025 at 7:58 PM
risa furry convention
Listening back to a hardliners segment and of course, Corby loves Brady on air, where everyone else says Greg Olsen is and was much better of a color commentator. I bet Corby's car has Yankees and Lakers stickers on it.
November 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Listening back to a hardliners segment and of course, Corby loves Brady on air, where everyone else says Greg Olsen is and was much better of a color commentator. I bet Corby's car has Yankees and Lakers stickers on it.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Grandma Concerned About Dinner Roll Count https://theonion.com/grandma-concerned-about-dinner-roll-count-1819571169/
November 25, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Grandma Concerned About Dinner Roll Count https://theonion.com/grandma-concerned-about-dinner-roll-count-1819571169/
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
I haven't listened to any Ticket commercials in years. If I couldn't skip them using the Sportsday app I probably wouldn't listen at all.
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I haven't listened to any Ticket commercials in years. If I couldn't skip them using the Sportsday app I probably wouldn't listen at all.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
klingon sitcoms
November 24, 2025 at 7:49 PM
klingon sitcoms
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Family Worried Where Grandma Going With Conversation On Low-Income Housing https://theonion.com/family-worried-where-grandma-going-with-conversation-on-1819578444/
November 24, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Family Worried Where Grandma Going With Conversation On Low-Income Housing https://theonion.com/family-worried-where-grandma-going-with-conversation-on-1819578444/
People- please realize that every boy under 25 will need a new haircut now that the chiefs are struggling. I'm going to start a mental health service to help them.
November 23, 2025 at 8:50 PM
People- please realize that every boy under 25 will need a new haircut now that the chiefs are struggling. I'm going to start a mental health service to help them.
Part a movie where you're from.
November 23, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Part a movie where you're from.
OK, now I realize this KC/indy crew aren't serious
November 23, 2025 at 7:50 PM
OK, now I realize this KC/indy crew aren't serious
NFL/Gambling syndicate put that face mask call on the Kelce run that was a score. Fantasy wise, sucks but overall, sure we need a new scripted champ
November 23, 2025 at 7:07 PM
NFL/Gambling syndicate put that face mask call on the Kelce run that was a score. Fantasy wise, sucks but overall, sure we need a new scripted champ
Man, I'm jealous that the Colts originally came up with Crazy Train for the kickoff music today.
November 23, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Man, I'm jealous that the Colts originally came up with Crazy Train for the kickoff music today.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
First off, fuck your bitch and the clique you claim
Westside, when we ride, come equipped with game
You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife
Westside, when we ride, come equipped with game
You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife
November 23, 2025 at 5:07 AM
First off, fuck your bitch and the clique you claim
Westside, when we ride, come equipped with game
You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife
Westside, when we ride, come equipped with game
You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
It's that time of year
November 22, 2025 at 11:54 AM
It's that time of year
She should go see the Thomas the Tank Engine Broadway play and have full bore doggy with the rando that invited her.
November 21, 2025 at 10:07 PM
She should go see the Thomas the Tank Engine Broadway play and have full bore doggy with the rando that invited her.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Loomer having a sad
November 21, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Loomer having a sad
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
This Stephen Miller?
November 20, 2025 at 3:37 PM
This Stephen Miller?
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Before the midterms of 1866, President Andrew Johnson called his congressional opponents traitors and said they should be hanged.
Voters were so profoundly moved by his words... that they gave his opponents a supermajority in Congress, and the nation got the Fourteenth Amendment.
Voters were so profoundly moved by his words... that they gave his opponents a supermajority in Congress, and the nation got the Fourteenth Amendment.
November 20, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Before the midterms of 1866, President Andrew Johnson called his congressional opponents traitors and said they should be hanged.
Voters were so profoundly moved by his words... that they gave his opponents a supermajority in Congress, and the nation got the Fourteenth Amendment.
Voters were so profoundly moved by his words... that they gave his opponents a supermajority in Congress, and the nation got the Fourteenth Amendment.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Democrats "Yay he called us good men"
Democrats "Yay he called us good men"
January 8, 2025 at 1:50 AM
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Democrats "Yay he called us good men"
Democrats "Yay he called us good men"