cloudmir
@cloudmir.bsky.social
Reposted by cloudmir
Reposted by cloudmir
Reposted by cloudmir
short story where I make some dumbfuck comment on a menswearguy post and he somehow reveals that I am 40 years older than I previously thought and was directly involved in the 1953 Iran Coup and I looked like shit while doing it
January 30, 2025 at 10:32 PM
short story where I make some dumbfuck comment on a menswearguy post and he somehow reveals that I am 40 years older than I previously thought and was directly involved in the 1953 Iran Coup and I looked like shit while doing it
Reposted by cloudmir
hey do you remember what i was asking you about yesterday?
“oh, you mean last year?”
*gun shot*
[reloading sounds]
*eleven more gun shots*
“oh, you mean last year?”
*gun shot*
[reloading sounds]
*eleven more gun shots*
January 2, 2025 at 1:41 AM
hey do you remember what i was asking you about yesterday?
“oh, you mean last year?”
*gun shot*
[reloading sounds]
*eleven more gun shots*
“oh, you mean last year?”
*gun shot*
[reloading sounds]
*eleven more gun shots*
Reposted by cloudmir
Me: I got your little nosey, haha. I got your little nosey, Mr. floppy ears. Mr. cutie floppy ears.
My dog, perceiving all collective memories of his kind, hunting an elk with his pack, howling at the moon with his mate: ᵗʷᵒ⁻ˡᵉᵍᵍᵉᵈ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ ⁿᵒʷ. ᵇᶦᵍ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ. ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ, ᵗᵃˡˡ ᵖᶦᵍ
My dog, perceiving all collective memories of his kind, hunting an elk with his pack, howling at the moon with his mate: ᵗʷᵒ⁻ˡᵉᵍᵍᵉᵈ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ ⁿᵒʷ. ᵇᶦᵍ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ. ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ, ᵗᵃˡˡ ᵖᶦᵍ
December 16, 2024 at 12:54 AM
Me: I got your little nosey, haha. I got your little nosey, Mr. floppy ears. Mr. cutie floppy ears.
My dog, perceiving all collective memories of his kind, hunting an elk with his pack, howling at the moon with his mate: ᵗʷᵒ⁻ˡᵉᵍᵍᵉᵈ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ ⁿᵒʷ. ᵇᶦᵍ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ. ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ, ᵗᵃˡˡ ᵖᶦᵍ
My dog, perceiving all collective memories of his kind, hunting an elk with his pack, howling at the moon with his mate: ᵗʷᵒ⁻ˡᵉᵍᵍᵉᵈ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ ⁿᵒʷ. ᵇᶦᵍ ᵖᶦᵍ, ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ. ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ, ᵗᵃˡˡ ᵖᶦᵍ
Reposted by cloudmir
a cloak believed to belong to the shooter transformed into a dozen beautiful white doves and flew away, Authorities said,
December 8, 2024 at 1:32 AM
a cloak believed to belong to the shooter transformed into a dozen beautiful white doves and flew away, Authorities said,
proud to have been an early adopter of #blockyglesias 🫡
i feel a tremendous sense of peace
November 25, 2024 at 6:06 PM
proud to have been an early adopter of #blockyglesias 🫡
we did it joe
November 16, 2024 at 3:05 AM
we did it joe
Reposted by cloudmir
To all the pathetic reporters asking: I am not available for comment as I am currently submerged in an adrenochrome fountain.
November 14, 2024 at 10:36 PM
To all the pathetic reporters asking: I am not available for comment as I am currently submerged in an adrenochrome fountain.
he wasn’t exaggerating
Let me clarify: Stand by for the funniest news you’ve ever heard in your entire life.
November 14, 2024 at 3:45 PM
he wasn’t exaggerating
Reposted by cloudmir
ben collins is the hero we both deserve and need
Hi everyone.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
The Onion Buys Alex Jones’s Infowars Out of Bankruptcy
The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.
www.nytimes.com
November 14, 2024 at 2:21 PM
ben collins is the hero we both deserve and need
Reposted by cloudmir
You better fucking subscribe to The Onion. This is the kind of thing we will do with your money.
It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.
membership.theonion.com
It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.
membership.theonion.com
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 14, 2024 at 2:13 PM
You better fucking subscribe to The Onion. This is the kind of thing we will do with your money.
It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.
membership.theonion.com
It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.
membership.theonion.com
Reposted by cloudmir
You: Here's the thing about the Peanut Squirrel MAGA porn actor that everyone is missing-
Me: I have a gun.
Me: I have a gun.
November 4, 2024 at 4:54 PM
You: Here's the thing about the Peanut Squirrel MAGA porn actor that everyone is missing-
Me: I have a gun.
Me: I have a gun.
Reposted by cloudmir
I love drafting official statements.
October 30, 2024 at 4:19 PM
I love drafting official statements.
Reposted by cloudmir
Total maniacs frolicking
October 20, 2024 at 9:39 PM
Total maniacs frolicking
Reposted by cloudmir
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
October 18, 2024 at 2:00 AM
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Reposted by cloudmir
oh you think its funny that 300 iq males are crashing their teslas & being cooked alive by some weird type of fire thats immune to firemen
September 22, 2024 at 10:27 AM
oh you think its funny that 300 iq males are crashing their teslas & being cooked alive by some weird type of fire thats immune to firemen
Reposted by cloudmir
I would rather fucking kill myself
I wonder if anyone at The Onion has trained an LLM on the entire Onion archives and set it loose.
September 18, 2024 at 11:59 PM
I would rather fucking kill myself
Reposted by cloudmir
may you find something in your life you love like cowboy loves the leaf blower
September 11, 2024 at 7:16 PM
may you find something in your life you love like cowboy loves the leaf blower
Reposted by cloudmir
“a chicken in every pot and a 9/11 for every spam caller operation”
September 5, 2024 at 1:07 PM
“a chicken in every pot and a 9/11 for every spam caller operation”
Reposted by cloudmir
Hey everyone, it’s September so get ready for Fall(ing through the atmosphere and into the great cosmic void, it’s maw wide and inviting) because Space Hotel is going to open in only 27 short months!
September 1, 2024 at 4:55 PM
Hey everyone, it’s September so get ready for Fall(ing through the atmosphere and into the great cosmic void, it’s maw wide and inviting) because Space Hotel is going to open in only 27 short months!
Reposted by cloudmir
"i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" i would. that's the point of having a worst enemy. grow up and hate people like an adult
September 28, 2023 at 8:49 PM
"i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" i would. that's the point of having a worst enemy. grow up and hate people like an adult
Reposted by cloudmir
Trump campaign: ok we really need to stop the momentum of our opponent, bring out a really great anecdote, something that really connects with normal folks
RFK Jr: No problem *produces ziplock bag with the severed hand of the real Paddington bear*
RFK Jr: No problem *produces ziplock bag with the severed hand of the real Paddington bear*
August 25, 2024 at 3:14 AM
Trump campaign: ok we really need to stop the momentum of our opponent, bring out a really great anecdote, something that really connects with normal folks
RFK Jr: No problem *produces ziplock bag with the severed hand of the real Paddington bear*
RFK Jr: No problem *produces ziplock bag with the severed hand of the real Paddington bear*
Reposted by cloudmir
August 22, 2024 at 7:46 PM