derek
@d-reek.bsky.social
cat dad, manic pixie dream girl, garlic bread addict 🖤🩶🤍💜
Loooky ppl wanna do what I do, then they get a lil glimpse and then are like well huh ah well I guess...
October 23, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Loooky ppl wanna do what I do, then they get a lil glimpse and then are like well huh ah well I guess...
Reposted by derek
If a lady handcuffs you as part of a sex thing you should immediately ask if you're being detained
July 4, 2025 at 11:43 PM
If a lady handcuffs you as part of a sex thing you should immediately ask if you're being detained
Reposted by derek
(pulling up the ladder behind me) This is an opportunity for you to succeed through hard work and determination
December 3, 2024 at 4:26 PM
(pulling up the ladder behind me) This is an opportunity for you to succeed through hard work and determination
I didn't think I would burn my asshole with hot water from the bidet either, but here we are
May 10, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I didn't think I would burn my asshole with hot water from the bidet either, but here we are
They call him Jimmy buckets but not for what he does on the court
April 29, 2025 at 4:21 AM
They call him Jimmy buckets but not for what he does on the court
Reposted by derek
The Dark Web Memes really doing A+ work
March 1, 2025 at 5:11 PM
The Dark Web Memes really doing A+ work
Reposted by derek
Sorry bro I'm not doing your job for you
February 23, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Sorry bro I'm not doing your job for you
Reposted by derek
"ahh grimes chan. tis i, your tesla emperor. i can smell your vagina from the foyer my dear. shall i enter your hyperloop with my penis"
February 15, 2025 at 4:44 AM
"ahh grimes chan. tis i, your tesla emperor. i can smell your vagina from the foyer my dear. shall i enter your hyperloop with my penis"
Reposted by derek
Me: Oh no that trolley is going to run us over!
Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂
Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂
January 23, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Me: Oh no that trolley is going to run us over!
Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂
Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂
I just saw an old white guy with dread locks. Yes he had a 311 shirt on. I am shook.
January 29, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I just saw an old white guy with dread locks. Yes he had a 311 shirt on. I am shook.
Reposted by derek
its everyones dream to discover an ancient cave untouched for millennia and go in there with a sixer and half a pack of cigs and then emerge 2 hours later with your shirt off
January 24, 2025 at 2:02 AM
its everyones dream to discover an ancient cave untouched for millennia and go in there with a sixer and half a pack of cigs and then emerge 2 hours later with your shirt off
Reposted by derek
Welcome to America
May 23, 2023 at 4:50 PM
Welcome to America
Reposted by derek
You can't just ban Tik Tok without creating educational programs for helping those people reintegrate into society. We have to teach them to talk normal again and stop saying stuff like "The way they cooked and ate my ass"
December 15, 2024 at 11:31 PM
You can't just ban Tik Tok without creating educational programs for helping those people reintegrate into society. We have to teach them to talk normal again and stop saying stuff like "The way they cooked and ate my ass"
Reposted by derek
All Santa songs are like:
He’s got a peppermint ass
And big huge pants
Big beard as long as a tree
So put a slice of plump cake
Upon a plate
And leave it for the guy to see
He’s got a peppermint ass
And big huge pants
Big beard as long as a tree
So put a slice of plump cake
Upon a plate
And leave it for the guy to see
December 10, 2024 at 8:44 AM
All Santa songs are like:
He’s got a peppermint ass
And big huge pants
Big beard as long as a tree
So put a slice of plump cake
Upon a plate
And leave it for the guy to see
He’s got a peppermint ass
And big huge pants
Big beard as long as a tree
So put a slice of plump cake
Upon a plate
And leave it for the guy to see
Reposted by derek
The United Healthcare shooter being Italian-American completely scrambled the NYPD officers. It's like those scenes of the Invisible Man running around knocking policemen's hats off and pushing them off their bicycles.
December 9, 2024 at 6:56 PM
The United Healthcare shooter being Italian-American completely scrambled the NYPD officers. It's like those scenes of the Invisible Man running around knocking policemen's hats off and pushing them off their bicycles.
Reposted by derek
You could smell the podcasting on him a mile away. That man used the promo code and saved ten percent. He nursed his back on a Caspar mattress.
in hindsight the Peak Design backpack should’ve been a pretty clear giveaway
December 10, 2024 at 3:58 AM
You could smell the podcasting on him a mile away. That man used the promo code and saved ten percent. He nursed his back on a Caspar mattress.
i no longer say bless you after somebody sneezes,, i say spit on that thing after they achoo
December 7, 2024 at 5:26 PM
i no longer say bless you after somebody sneezes,, i say spit on that thing after they achoo
Reposted by derek
“Gods big ass tits looming over amazon warehouse”
November 21, 2024 at 11:17 PM
“Gods big ass tits looming over amazon warehouse”
Reposted by derek
Reposted by derek
This is what you say when you finish making love
November 26, 2024 at 5:42 PM
This is what you say when you finish making love
Reposted by derek
Reposted by derek
Bet that feel good as hell for a second
November 26, 2024 at 1:32 AM
Bet that feel good as hell for a second
Reposted by derek
bluesky bios be like 100 years old puppydog brat tamer democrat, need a 20 year old white boy whose chest is primed to be shat on . 1/2 of Gay podcast
November 25, 2024 at 1:50 PM
bluesky bios be like 100 years old puppydog brat tamer democrat, need a 20 year old white boy whose chest is primed to be shat on . 1/2 of Gay podcast