Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 1d

Great news for the little man, as Badenoch announces that the Tories will save you a couple of grand when you buy your house (as long as you're spending at least £300k).

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 5d

Holy fuck, how did I compile this list and forget that Nine Lives was Aerosmith's 12th album?

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 5d

Mule Variations was Tom Wait's 13th album
Heroes was David Bowie's 12th, Heathen his 23rd.

However seeing as Kanye's 12th album is going to be a load of deepfake AI-voiced bullshit with a swastika on the cover I think she can call this a win.

Buttadeus @thewanderingjew.bsky.social · 5d

In defense of Taylor Swift...what's the best 12th album anyone has ever made?

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 5d

Mule Variations was Tom Wait's 13th album
Heroes was David Bowie's 12th, Heathen his 23rd.

However seeing as Kanye's 12th album is going to be a load of deepfake AI-voiced bullshit with a swastika on the cover I think she can call this a win.

Buttadeus @thewanderingjew.bsky.social · 5d

In defense of Taylor Swift...what's the best 12th album anyone has ever made?

Reposted by Richard deValmont

Michael F @michaelf617.bsky.social · 5d

I asked a Christian baker to write Charlie Kirk on a gay wedding cake and we've been staring at each other for 39 straight hours now

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Reposted by Richard deValmont

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 5d

Today's Hallowmeme.

The Distracted Boyfriend mem, but the distracted boyfriend is now the transformed Detective Sgt. Bung (Harry H. Corbett) after he's had a noggin of Dr. Jekyll's potion. The object of his attention is Valeria Watt (Fenella Fielding) and his clearly furious girlfriend is now Emily Bung (Joan Sims).

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 5d

Here's a punchline for anyone who wants to construct a joke around it.

'How do you solve a problem like More Ears?'

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 6d

I've just noticed that Edith Charles has deleted her account. Does anyone know if she's OK?

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 7d

I have it on good authority that Tilly Norwood FUCKS. It was specified in the prompt.

Sorry, Tyler. You're going to have to wank over a different fictional woman.

Laura Jedeed @laurajedeed.bsky.social · 7d

I'm sorry: "if I wish to see a virgin on-screen"?

My Favorite Actress Is Not Human
Tilly Norwood doesn’t need a hairstylist, has no regrettable posts, and if you wish to see a virgin on-screen, this is one of your better chances. That’s because she’s AI.

A picture of some AI girl standing on an AI landscape with an AI monster behind her. I'm gonna be so real: she looks about 14

By Tyler Cowen

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 7d

This works particularly well for 80s and 90s wacky comedy acts.

'I'd Bobby her Davro.'

'I'd Barry his Chuckle.'

'I want to Timmy his Mallet all night long'.

Delaney (Pum)King (She/Her/Whomst) @delaneyking.bsky.social · 8d

A weird thing about English is you can put someone's name into this format and make pretty much any name sound dirty.

"I'd (first name) his/her/their (last name)"

For example:

I'd Tobey her McGuire if you know what I mean.

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 10d

At this point I just assume that Trumo and his cronies have all taken short positions on Johnson & Johnson and are just trying to tank their share price. Or maybe it's just because they haven't kissed the ring and it's just punitive. Either works.

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 10d

Please, PLEASE let her team up with Walton Goggins' Goggle Glasses for history's most euphonically satisfying collaboration.

Ewamore, Quoth the Raven @ewacat.bsky.social · 10d

Krysten Ritter is a knitter and i am NOT GOING TO PUN ABOUT IT www.weareknitters.co.uk/collections/...

WAK Krysten Ritter Kits

Krysten Ritter is an American actress, model, and author. Known for her roles in various TV and film productions, she stands out for her versatility and charisma. In addition to her acting career, she...

www.weareknitters.co.uk

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 11d

Oh shit, he caught a replay of the Tommy Lee Jones film Hunted on TV and thought it was the news, didn't he?

Mister.Nobody @ytregaws.bsky.social · 11d

LOL

"I spoke to the governor, she was very nice. But I said, 'Well wait a minute, am I watching things on television that are different from what's happening? My people tell me different.' They are literally attacking and there are fires all over the place...

www.kgw.com/article/news...

Trump seems to back off Portland military plan: 'Am I watching things on television that are different from what's happening?'

President Trump had said he will send troops to Portland to protect U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement facilities, which he said were "under attack."

www.kgw.com

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Reposted by Richard deValmont

Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social · 16d

Experimental post: The Inevitable March of Time
From the moment of this post, Super Mario Bros. is now closer to World War II than it is to the present day.

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 15d

Annihilation and Frozen 2. I will die on this hill.

Sophia_Nyx 🏳️‍⚧️ @sophianyx.bsky.social · 21d

Name 2 identical Films made by different people

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 15d

I could say 'Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers' out loud a million times and the last one would give me just as much joy as the first.

Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 15d

Even outside of the character Uncle Baby Billy is just a very funny series of words to string together

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 15d

My daughter is amazing.

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 15d

This is (R) Bingus Mingus and (L) Beeple Meeple (the Cat Who Thinks He's People).

Two black and white kittens. The one on the left is beautiful, the one on the right is a gurning idiot (but also beautiful).

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 15d

Toxic masculinity is thinking youand your friends have to sexually assault each other to be 'fun'.

A @Fesshole post containing 'In the pub carrying 3 pints, my mate came up behind me and pulled my pants down. Undies came down too'

My reply of 'Mates don't assault mates'

Two replies to my post reading 'Your mates are clearly no fun' and 'They absolutely fucking do.'

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 15d

Mates don't assault mates.

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Reposted by Richard deValmont

Helen Kennedy @helenkennedy.bsky.social · 17d

Oh dear. It seems Dr. Oz’s company sells Trump‘s big autism cure. What a crazy happenstance.

Simon Maechling & @simonmaechling
Follow
RFK Jr is set to announce Tylenol causes autism.
And then he'll push the "cure": leucovorin (folinic acid).
Who sells folinic acid? Dr. Oz's supplement company, iHerb.
The same Dr. Oz who is now the
Administrator of the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) in Trump's administration.
Think about that: A government health official tied to the very supplement company that benefits from RFK Jr's bogus
"cure."
This isn't public health.
It's corruption dressed up as wellness.

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 17d

It works be hilarious if 'Business Genius' Trump's downfall ended up being pissing off Disney and Johnson & Johnson in the same week.

Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 17d

These are all true and confirmed facts.

Delaney (Pum)King (She/Her/Whomst) @delaneyking.bsky.social · 17d

Tylenol causes autism.
Pepto Bismol causes trains to be late.
Asparin causes birds to fly upside down, screaming the Lord's Prayer in reverse.
Off Brand Chemists Cough Syrup makes fire fall from a sky of boiling blood, where the seas quiver with tangled limbs of the souls clawing for lost salvation.

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Reposted by Richard deValmont

acabylon 👻 BOO! 👻 @acabylonbee.bsky.social · 17d

a vaccine syringe superimposed over oj simpson celebrating his not guilty verdict

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 17d

If you ask Penn apparently Teller is incredibly good at magic and he's just good at distracting patter.

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Richard deValmont @devalmont.myatproto.social · 18d

And Brass Eye! I clearly need to rethink this.

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