Alan Smith
@flanderosa.bsky.social
Film fanatic | Preston North End, Lancaster City & Patriots | ❤️#gaming (PSN/XBL = flanderosa) | introverted #bookworm | Spittoon investigator and Eldritch Eradicator | He/Him/His
Reposted by Alan Smith
Walking into disaster: how narcotraffickers captured the BVI
Walking into disaster: how narcotraffickers captured the BVI
The long read: When the new premier of the British Virgin Islands said he needed an armed security detail, his chief of police knew trouble was on its way
www.theguardian.com
December 9, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Walking into disaster: how narcotraffickers captured the BVI
Reposted by Alan Smith
The Eldonian dream: Inside the fight for Liverpool’s community housing utopia
The Eldonian dream: Inside the fight for Liverpool’s community housing utopia
Eldonian village was a forerunner in neighbourhood regeneration. Thirty years on it is fighting for survival
www.theguardian.com
November 30, 2025 at 10:20 AM
The Eldonian dream: Inside the fight for Liverpool’s community housing utopia
Reposted by Alan Smith
![[Scene is JESUS sat behind a boss’s desk in his office on a cloud in HEAVEN]
1
JESUS [speaking into intercom]
Hi can you send in Saint Nicholas please
2
SANTA [entering in full Santa garb]:
Hi boss
JESUS:
Hi Nick
3
JESUS:
Listen - about this ‘my birthday’ thing...
SANTA:
Ohh not this again boss
4
JESUS:
Nick, it’s out of hand. *You’ve* got out of hand.
5
JESUS:
I mean when I hired you, you was all humble, hiding under windows, lobbing in dowries…
And now you’re like…
6
JESUS [gesturing disdainfully at Santa’s clothing]:
I mean - what’s this.
7
SANTA:
This is my get up! I’ve had this since the Coca Cola deal in the 30s
JESUS:
*That’s what I mean.*
8
JESUS:
You’ve just gone too -
SANTA:
Oh no, oh no -
9
SANTA:
Sorry boss but waaay back in the Reformation, right, Martin Luther said: “why don’t we have Jesus delivering the presents?”. And when he prayed to ask you, do you remember what you said? Eh?
10
SANTA:
You said: “I ain’t going back there”
11
SANTA:
If you wanna take over -
JESUS:
Oh yeah! Kids coming downstairs to find me resurrected in their living room going "I got you an Xbox"...
12
SANTA:
You’re just feeling threatened cos I’m doing a bloody good -
JESUS:
*WATCH IT NICK*.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayhglimve4fbwilzyfjedpa56xwmjq4oriqqs62atkospprs6x5y@jpeg)
For one I’ve seen before, would go for Chungking Express, one of my favourite films, bought it on Criterion 4K and it’s strangely given me a new angle on the film.
First time watch, Kuroneko, one of the most beautiful and moving horror films I’ve ever seen. Both gorgeous and creepy.
First time watch, Kuroneko, one of the most beautiful and moving horror films I’ve ever seen. Both gorgeous and creepy.
What is the best movie not from this year that you’ve seen this year? Bonus points if you say why
November 9, 2025 at 2:18 PM
For one I’ve seen before, would go for Chungking Express, one of my favourite films, bought it on Criterion 4K and it’s strangely given me a new angle on the film.
First time watch, Kuroneko, one of the most beautiful and moving horror films I’ve ever seen. Both gorgeous and creepy.
First time watch, Kuroneko, one of the most beautiful and moving horror films I’ve ever seen. Both gorgeous and creepy.
Reposted by Alan Smith
spread Samir Zitouni’s name far and wide
November 4, 2025 at 11:24 AM
spread Samir Zitouni’s name far and wide
Reposted by Alan Smith
‘Uncle Billy, did you deposit that money?’
‘Yes.’
‘Great - thanks.’
‘Yes.’
‘Great - thanks.’
October 31, 2025 at 9:46 PM
‘Uncle Billy, did you deposit that money?’
‘Yes.’
‘Great - thanks.’
‘Yes.’
‘Great - thanks.’
Reposted by Alan Smith
Of course women don't like the Cybertruck.
Women only want one thing, and it's donkeys carrying lambs up the Italian Alps in special pouches.
Women only want one thing, and it's donkeys carrying lambs up the Italian Alps in special pouches.
October 22, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Of course women don't like the Cybertruck.
Women only want one thing, and it's donkeys carrying lambs up the Italian Alps in special pouches.
Women only want one thing, and it's donkeys carrying lambs up the Italian Alps in special pouches.
Yay! Patriots live on UK TV tonight 👍
Nay! It’s on Channel 5’s lamely obnoxious ‘game show with maybe some football’ 👎
Nay! It’s on Channel 5’s lamely obnoxious ‘game show with maybe some football’ 👎
September 14, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Yay! Patriots live on UK TV tonight 👍
Nay! It’s on Channel 5’s lamely obnoxious ‘game show with maybe some football’ 👎
Nay! It’s on Channel 5’s lamely obnoxious ‘game show with maybe some football’ 👎
Has Peter Mandelson ever not been sacked from a job?
September 11, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Has Peter Mandelson ever not been sacked from a job?
Listening to my work playlist and Cocteau Twins’ magnificent ‘Sea, Swallow Me’ has come on. Just checked out the ‘lyrics’ out of curiosity - not sure where Genius has got them from but I’m pretty sure Fraser is not singing “Mum, I love money now” at any point in the song 😂
August 21, 2025 at 9:47 AM
Listening to my work playlist and Cocteau Twins’ magnificent ‘Sea, Swallow Me’ has come on. Just checked out the ‘lyrics’ out of curiosity - not sure where Genius has got them from but I’m pretty sure Fraser is not singing “Mum, I love money now” at any point in the song 😂
An absurdly mundane Onion report - my favourite kind of Onion report 😊
Pigeon That Flew Down Into Subway Going To Need All His Wits To Get Out Of This One
August 19, 2025 at 2:14 PM
An absurdly mundane Onion report - my favourite kind of Onion report 😊
Reposted by Alan Smith
![[Scene is Women’s World Cup match showing on big screen in pub, lots of FANS in pub watching it cheerfully, apart from one guy at the back looking grumpy]
1
FANS [as goal goes in]:
YYEEEESSS!
2
COMMENTATOR 1 VOICEOVER ON THE TV:
Ooh and there's been a VAR check on that goal
3
COMMENTATOR 2:
Yeah Robyn it looks like there’s been a question about it...
4
[show a miserable gammony bloke watching the same from the back of the pub]
COMMENTATOR 2:
…from Brian at the back of the pub.
5
COMMENTATOR 1:
Looking at the replay we can see Brian using this rare moment of uncomplicated national joy
6
COMMENTATOR 1:
to talk about men.
BRIAN [holding his pint while he watches the screen, grumbling his own commentary]:
Grumble Grumble Grumble men’s game
7
COMMENTATOR 2:
Yeah you can see from his body position he’s making a dumb and sexist comparison there
8
COMMENTATOR 1:
The ref’s made her decision…
[Ref returns to the pitch, making one of the big VAR speeches they’ve started doing through her head-mic]
9
REF:
MY JUDGEMENT IS…
10
REF:
BRIAN IS TALKING BOLLOCKS.
11
PEOPLE IN PUB:
YEEEAAH
12
PEOPLE IN PUB [all pointing at Brian]:
SHUT UP BRIAN SHUT UP BRIAN](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidptbbvbpc664jxdtqfonnmfoz4mb2ldyiglirnxknvunk5uc6e4u@jpeg)
Reposted by Alan Smith
No. It isn’t “absolutely right”
These protests are the result of endless disinformation and a wholly prejudiced debate on immigration as well as govts’ refusal to take responsibility for their own failure to support communities, clear the backlogs and argue firmly for the benefits of immigration.
These protests are the result of endless disinformation and a wholly prejudiced debate on immigration as well as govts’ refusal to take responsibility for their own failure to support communities, clear the backlogs and argue firmly for the benefits of immigration.
July 27, 2025 at 10:43 AM
No. It isn’t “absolutely right”
These protests are the result of endless disinformation and a wholly prejudiced debate on immigration as well as govts’ refusal to take responsibility for their own failure to support communities, clear the backlogs and argue firmly for the benefits of immigration.
These protests are the result of endless disinformation and a wholly prejudiced debate on immigration as well as govts’ refusal to take responsibility for their own failure to support communities, clear the backlogs and argue firmly for the benefits of immigration.
This is utterly depressing
July 27, 2025 at 8:08 AM
This is utterly depressing
Know it’s fictional (and in different circumstances) but worth noting a US strike on Iran is the catalyst for things that happen in “Threads”, just putting it out there…
June 22, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Know it’s fictional (and in different circumstances) but worth noting a US strike on Iran is the catalyst for things that happen in “Threads”, just putting it out there…
Describe a favourite movie in the most misleading way possible:
Pregnant police chief’s artist husband enters postage stamp painting competition
Pregnant police chief’s artist husband enters postage stamp painting competition
June 12, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Describe a favourite movie in the most misleading way possible:
Pregnant police chief’s artist husband enters postage stamp painting competition
Pregnant police chief’s artist husband enters postage stamp painting competition
Reposted by Alan Smith
Gashapon (or Gachapon) are vending machines found all over Japan that dispense capsules containing miniature toys and other items. There are thousands of different kinds. Here’s a thread of the best ones I saw on my recent trip. 🧵
June 11, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Gashapon (or Gachapon) are vending machines found all over Japan that dispense capsules containing miniature toys and other items. There are thousands of different kinds. Here’s a thread of the best ones I saw on my recent trip. 🧵
Reposted by Alan Smith
I’m getting pretty sick of being told by the political class that we aren’t carrying our weight, should be back in the office, should work harder, should hate more.
May 17, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I’m getting pretty sick of being told by the political class that we aren’t carrying our weight, should be back in the office, should work harder, should hate more.
Reposted by Alan Smith
Post your favourite one-word movie
May 5, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Post your favourite one-word movie
Reposted by Alan Smith
Bringing my FREE STUFF thread over.
Lots of archives, national film institutes, nonprofits and others have made collections of silent films available for free, no signup needed.
I have the links
Lots of archives, national film institutes, nonprofits and others have made collections of silent films available for free, no signup needed.
I have the links
an animated image with the words did you say free stuff
ALT: an animated image with the words did you say free stuff
media.tenor.com
September 16, 2024 at 9:28 PM
Bringing my FREE STUFF thread over.
Lots of archives, national film institutes, nonprofits and others have made collections of silent films available for free, no signup needed.
I have the links
Lots of archives, national film institutes, nonprofits and others have made collections of silent films available for free, no signup needed.
I have the links
Four favourite films of the decade so far.
May 5, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Four favourite films of the decade so far.
Reposted by Alan Smith
I once again find myself wondering what this country would look like today if the Green Party had been given even half the media attention that Farage’s various vanity projects got over the last ten years.
May 2, 2025 at 6:34 AM
I once again find myself wondering what this country would look like today if the Green Party had been given even half the media attention that Farage’s various vanity projects got over the last ten years.
A film that takes place where you’re from.
April 16, 2025 at 6:02 PM
A film that takes place where you’re from.