Hayley Centimetres
@jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Somewhat retired film critic. hayley_sass from twitter. Largely sharing in-jokes with my old internet pals, sorry 🐨🍉📽️🥅
BETTY SAYS THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR CAT NAMES Betty being the cat my mum brought home after six weeks of working at the shelter frankly heroic I would have lasted all of six minutes before capitulating to a cat (Betty also doesn’t stay still long enough to get a good snap cos she’s too into pats)
November 30, 2025 at 12:13 AM
BETTY SAYS THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR CAT NAMES Betty being the cat my mum brought home after six weeks of working at the shelter frankly heroic I would have lasted all of six minutes before capitulating to a cat (Betty also doesn’t stay still long enough to get a good snap cos she’s too into pats)
My dad literally described Asteroid City to me this morning with “you know the one, they’re in the desert, and then all the soldiers and aliens show up and they’re freaking out??” and it took me AGES to figure it out
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW2G... like clockwork this song pops into the forefront of my brain every few months
Asteroid City (2023) - Dear Alien (Who Art in Heaven) Scene | Movieclips
YouTube video by Movieclips
www.youtube.com
November 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
My dad literally described Asteroid City to me this morning with “you know the one, they’re in the desert, and then all the soldiers and aliens show up and they’re freaking out??” and it took me AGES to figure it out
Good morning gang, so my mum volunteers at an animal shelter helping out with the cats, and it is often hard for the vollies to come up with new, varied names for the cats up for adoption. So I want to know: what would you name a shelter cat, and I’ll give mum the resultant list of names 🐈🐈⬛
November 28, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Good morning gang, so my mum volunteers at an animal shelter helping out with the cats, and it is often hard for the vollies to come up with new, varied names for the cats up for adoption. So I want to know: what would you name a shelter cat, and I’ll give mum the resultant list of names 🐈🐈⬛
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
Doctor: Mr. Gibson, I'm afraid I have some upsetting news
Me: Lay it on me like gravy Doc, you're as crazy as yo mama
Doctor: You have stage 4 John Candy in JFK disease. There are no treatment options
Me: Say it ain't so Daddy-O! I've got the right ta-ra but the wrong ho-ho!
Me: Lay it on me like gravy Doc, you're as crazy as yo mama
Doctor: You have stage 4 John Candy in JFK disease. There are no treatment options
Me: Say it ain't so Daddy-O! I've got the right ta-ra but the wrong ho-ho!
November 27, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Doctor: Mr. Gibson, I'm afraid I have some upsetting news
Me: Lay it on me like gravy Doc, you're as crazy as yo mama
Doctor: You have stage 4 John Candy in JFK disease. There are no treatment options
Me: Say it ain't so Daddy-O! I've got the right ta-ra but the wrong ho-ho!
Me: Lay it on me like gravy Doc, you're as crazy as yo mama
Doctor: You have stage 4 John Candy in JFK disease. There are no treatment options
Me: Say it ain't so Daddy-O! I've got the right ta-ra but the wrong ho-ho!
People just flinging around “who abandoned Snoopy in the vestibule?” as if they’re not haunted by Maestro every day of their goddamn lives instead of just on Thanksgiving WOW I WONDER WHAT THAT IS LIKE
November 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
People just flinging around “who abandoned Snoopy in the vestibule?” as if they’re not haunted by Maestro every day of their goddamn lives instead of just on Thanksgiving WOW I WONDER WHAT THAT IS LIKE
While this is leagues better than last year’s xmas stamp of the weirdly masculine kangaroo and kookaburra combo that were definitely going to beat up your queer arse in an alley, there is something vaguely… uncanny? About this Santa in a rashie hanging out on a beach with penguins
November 27, 2025 at 2:06 AM
While this is leagues better than last year’s xmas stamp of the weirdly masculine kangaroo and kookaburra combo that were definitely going to beat up your queer arse in an alley, there is something vaguely… uncanny? About this Santa in a rashie hanging out on a beach with penguins
A friend is trying to turn me into her “just called for a chat!” friend which, already i did not consent to this, but also she is a mum with a baby, I am an unemployed bum on a deeply anti-social schedule and every time she tries to call me is just NOT COMPATIBLE with my lifestyle
November 26, 2025 at 5:26 AM
A friend is trying to turn me into her “just called for a chat!” friend which, already i did not consent to this, but also she is a mum with a baby, I am an unemployed bum on a deeply anti-social schedule and every time she tries to call me is just NOT COMPATIBLE with my lifestyle
I love it when old friends learn new things about me
ARE YOU A ROBESPIERRE TRUTHER?
November 24, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I love it when old friends learn new things about me
I love this film a lot, I don't push it on people often because Mamet is an acquired taste but it's so funny, so caustic, and it's important to know that not only is Phil the leading man but the ROMANTIC leading man and he's just beautiful in it
Saw the movie 'State and Main' recently and am shocked this didn't get brought up more around MeToo. It almost feels like a Cohen bros movie, like half the cast are Cohen regulars. I think this might be my favorite Phillip Seymour Hoffman roll. He gets to play a leading man and really nails it.
November 23, 2025 at 11:31 PM
I love this film a lot, I don't push it on people often because Mamet is an acquired taste but it's so funny, so caustic, and it's important to know that not only is Phil the leading man but the ROMANTIC leading man and he's just beautiful in it
Was too poor and stupid to realise I was too poor to survive in the arts until after I’d wasted a lot of time, now I just do whatever I fall into that pays the rent (basically ‘what career path’)
November 22, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Was too poor and stupid to realise I was too poor to survive in the arts until after I’d wasted a lot of time, now I just do whatever I fall into that pays the rent (basically ‘what career path’)
Just got told off by a woman on the tram for giving a fella begging some money because apparently “he’ll just use it for drugs” I’m sure he’ll be getting some top tier heroin for my $1.70 Beryl
November 22, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Just got told off by a woman on the tram for giving a fella begging some money because apparently “he’ll just use it for drugs” I’m sure he’ll be getting some top tier heroin for my $1.70 Beryl
25 minutes into a 193 minute film and having the uneasy realisation of “uh oh I don’t think I like this” pray for mojo
November 21, 2025 at 4:52 AM
25 minutes into a 193 minute film and having the uneasy realisation of “uh oh I don’t think I like this” pray for mojo
Hooting/Hollering
This is not the worst book we've ever read but it is the meanest episode we've ever done.
Episode 46: Sapiens
It's an ambitious goal to write the entire history of humanity in just 400 pages. It's even more ambitious to do it without reading any research.
It's an ambitious goal to write the entire history of humanity in just 400 pages. It's even more ambitious to do it without reading any research.
November 21, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Hooting/Hollering
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
guy on jeopardy today described as a 'stay at home dog dad.' shoot for the moon fellas
November 19, 2025 at 10:38 PM
guy on jeopardy today described as a 'stay at home dog dad.' shoot for the moon fellas
Important news, last night I made a risotto using broad beans that I GREW MYSELF and it was maybe the best risotto I’ve ever made
November 19, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Important news, last night I made a risotto using broad beans that I GREW MYSELF and it was maybe the best risotto I’ve ever made
Was reminded by the book I’m currently reading, which was published in 2011, that you can use the internet to listen to radio stations from all round the world so that’s what I’ve been doing all evening, France has some banger classical music stations
November 18, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Was reminded by the book I’m currently reading, which was published in 2011, that you can use the internet to listen to radio stations from all round the world so that’s what I’ve been doing all evening, France has some banger classical music stations
A friend who has been out of work for a while offered to connect me with some of the recruiters she’s been using, I was like oh great sure thank you thinking it’d be 2-3 contacts, it is now over 10 and I don’t want to sound ungrateful but they are all now EMAILING AND CALLING ME AT ONCE
November 17, 2025 at 10:58 PM
A friend who has been out of work for a while offered to connect me with some of the recruiters she’s been using, I was like oh great sure thank you thinking it’d be 2-3 contacts, it is now over 10 and I don’t want to sound ungrateful but they are all now EMAILING AND CALLING ME AT ONCE
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
YOU GUYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING CURSED???? HOW ABOUT NEON GENESIS LEHIGH VALLEY PHANTOMS HOCKEY?????
November 16, 2025 at 11:25 PM
YOU GUYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING CURSED???? HOW ABOUT NEON GENESIS LEHIGH VALLEY PHANTOMS HOCKEY?????
If I Had Legs I Would Kick You, or pouring one out for all the bad mothers there but for the grace of god I go
November 16, 2025 at 5:20 AM
If I Had Legs I Would Kick You, or pouring one out for all the bad mothers there but for the grace of god I go
Chicago Bob, the cinephile’s pope, really is a delightful gift I did not see coming
November 15, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Chicago Bob, the cinephile’s pope, really is a delightful gift I did not see coming
I do not enjoy the sensation of sweating but my GOD does my hair and skin love being in a humid climate
November 15, 2025 at 9:59 PM
I do not enjoy the sensation of sweating but my GOD does my hair and skin love being in a humid climate
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
I usually share a new Palestinian account every day but today I am going to do a thread of people I’ve already verified impacted by the recent flooding in Gaza. If you can help any of these families- many who lost everything again- please do. edition.cnn.com/2025/11/14/m...
Heavy rainfall floods the camps of displaced Palestinians in Gaza | CNN
Displaced Palestinians in Gaza woke up Friday morning to inches of water flooding their tents, after heavy rainfall overnight left their shelters and belongings soaked with no way to dry them out.
edition.cnn.com
November 15, 2025 at 9:10 AM
I usually share a new Palestinian account every day but today I am going to do a thread of people I’ve already verified impacted by the recent flooding in Gaza. If you can help any of these families- many who lost everything again- please do. edition.cnn.com/2025/11/14/m...
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
SATAN: So what makes you want to work here? Isn’t it a bit of a sideways move for you?
ME: Well, sideways and down, haha
SATAN: Haha
ME: But I’ve been working in the sector for a while, and I feel this is where the action is
SATAN: Your most recent role was…
ME: Cinema website designer
SATAN: Sweet
ME: Well, sideways and down, haha
SATAN: Haha
ME: But I’ve been working in the sector for a while, and I feel this is where the action is
SATAN: Your most recent role was…
ME: Cinema website designer
SATAN: Sweet
November 13, 2025 at 2:43 PM
SATAN: So what makes you want to work here? Isn’t it a bit of a sideways move for you?
ME: Well, sideways and down, haha
SATAN: Haha
ME: But I’ve been working in the sector for a while, and I feel this is where the action is
SATAN: Your most recent role was…
ME: Cinema website designer
SATAN: Sweet
ME: Well, sideways and down, haha
SATAN: Haha
ME: But I’ve been working in the sector for a while, and I feel this is where the action is
SATAN: Your most recent role was…
ME: Cinema website designer
SATAN: Sweet
Spotted the most beautiful and rare of species at the bus stop this morning, the Brisbane Goth. May all those committed to the true dark arts here in the tropics thrive and prosper
November 14, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Spotted the most beautiful and rare of species at the bus stop this morning, the Brisbane Goth. May all those committed to the true dark arts here in the tropics thrive and prosper
Truly love the delicious promise of a band setting up and there’s just a giant saxophone on stage
November 14, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Truly love the delicious promise of a band setting up and there’s just a giant saxophone on stage