Cats look at you doing stuff with your hands and wonder,
'Okay, but where's the snack?'
'Okay, but where's the snack?'
January 25, 2024 at 10:25 AM
Cats look at you doing stuff with your hands and wonder,
'Okay, but where's the snack?'
'Okay, but where's the snack?'
I have an itch to make y'all mind my shit but I'm also faced with an overpowering need to mind my own business.
October 27, 2023 at 11:01 PM
I have an itch to make y'all mind my shit but I'm also faced with an overpowering need to mind my own business.
Night time is definitely my favorite. Coz I'm certain I won't be bothered.
October 23, 2023 at 9:31 PM
Night time is definitely my favorite. Coz I'm certain I won't be bothered.
CAN I PET THAT DAWG???
October 13, 2023 at 8:13 PM
CAN I PET THAT DAWG???
Reposted by Kushaq
Tinder, but to find a therapist.
October 12, 2023 at 2:08 PM
Tinder, but to find a therapist.
Reposted by Kushaq
[sitting bolt upright in bed at 1am] most of the ways the coyote tries to kill the roadrunner would, if successful, render it totally inedible
October 6, 2023 at 2:38 PM
[sitting bolt upright in bed at 1am] most of the ways the coyote tries to kill the roadrunner would, if successful, render it totally inedible
Reposted by Kushaq
ME: so what do you do for a living
HER: I work for a moving company
ME: where is it today
HER: I work for a moving company
ME: where is it today
September 27, 2023 at 3:35 PM
ME: so what do you do for a living
HER: I work for a moving company
ME: where is it today
HER: I work for a moving company
ME: where is it today
Reposted by Kushaq
Took my cat to the strip club so he could lay on all the discarded clothing.
October 3, 2023 at 1:51 PM
Took my cat to the strip club so he could lay on all the discarded clothing.
If you were a virgin and stuck your dick out in the rain, wonder if you could count the number of raindrops per minute.
October 3, 2023 at 9:29 PM
If you were a virgin and stuck your dick out in the rain, wonder if you could count the number of raindrops per minute.
Them: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: You must be using google docs.
Me: You must be using google docs.
October 3, 2023 at 9:26 PM
Them: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: You must be using google docs.
Me: You must be using google docs.
Reposted by Kushaq
sometimes u forget to quack in the morning, so u have to do extra quacks in the afternoon
September 10, 2023 at 1:37 AM
sometimes u forget to quack in the morning, so u have to do extra quacks in the afternoon
Reposted by Kushaq
Listen, 'sweet cheeks' is both complimentary and gender neutral so why not use it in a meeting
July 18, 2023 at 4:56 PM
Listen, 'sweet cheeks' is both complimentary and gender neutral so why not use it in a meeting
Reposted by Kushaq
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
August 29, 2023 at 6:13 PM
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
Reposted by Kushaq
[first date]
Me: So what do you do?
Her: I’m a librarian.
Me: *𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵*
Me: So what do you do?
Her: I’m a librarian.
Me: *𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵*
October 3, 2023 at 4:05 PM
[first date]
Me: So what do you do?
Her: I’m a librarian.
Me: *𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵*
Me: So what do you do?
Her: I’m a librarian.
Me: *𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵*
I like how about 2023 years ago some guy starved himself for like forty days and then said you should let men clap your cheeks.
October 2, 2023 at 4:55 PM
I like how about 2023 years ago some guy starved himself for like forty days and then said you should let men clap your cheeks.
Reposted by Kushaq
Eating a mermaid is half cannibalism, half sushi.
October 1, 2023 at 1:10 PM
Eating a mermaid is half cannibalism, half sushi.