(slightly tipsy from holiday fun) Ever just have memories of your life and love the people in it and have a general "Man, I love these people" mood? You are included, yo.

I've been searching my brain for WEEKS and I finally figured it out.

Scott Bessent, US Secretary of the Treasury reminds me of Will Farrell's SNL portrayal of Harry Caray.

Chex, where is my "extra extra extra insane amounts of sodium my nutritionist is crying" bold mix? SOME OF US CRAVE FLAVOR.

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for the excruciating pain of being alive

Opposition to abortion is younger than the Big Mac

to err is human. to arr is pirate. to urr is death metal.

Eatin' cheese

“If you’re angry about THIS, but not about THAT—“

Bro I’m gonna have to stop you there, I am angry about so many things all of the time, I have never in my life been angry about just one thing at a time, my capacity for “things to be angry about” is as wide and as deep as the sea

🎶country rooooooads
taaaaaake me hooooome
tooo the plaaaace
I beeLOOOOONG
Hare Krishna
Hare Rama
Rama Rama
Hare Hare🎶

just realized that Jimmy Buffett was absolutely, indisputably Taylor Swift for white men over 55

[reviewing my 23&me report]

huh, apparently i’ve got apple bottom genes

oh my god i just saw him at breakfast