Mel☆nie
@m3lan13.bsky.social
The nearest I've come to being a career woman was that time I ran down a particularly steep hill...
I know its an old 🧵 but still very funny 😂
Just Dance! 💃
Just Dance! 💃
I wonder what the JD in JD Vance stands for? Jury Duty? Juvenile Diabetes? Or perhaps, Just Dance? x
January 15, 2026 at 6:36 PM
I know its an old 🧵 but still very funny 😂
Just Dance! 💃
Just Dance! 💃
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Quelle surprise.
January 12, 2026 at 12:19 PM
Quelle surprise.
Reposted by Mel☆nie
🎶I never meant to offer you a marrow
I never meant to offer you celery
I only wanted one time to see you eating
I only want to see you eating purple broccoli.🎶
I never meant to offer you celery
I only wanted one time to see you eating
I only want to see you eating purple broccoli.🎶
January 12, 2026 at 5:46 PM
🎶I never meant to offer you a marrow
I never meant to offer you celery
I only wanted one time to see you eating
I only want to see you eating purple broccoli.🎶
I never meant to offer you celery
I only wanted one time to see you eating
I only want to see you eating purple broccoli.🎶
Reposted by Mel☆nie
choo choo, motherfucker
December 7, 2025 at 10:06 AM
choo choo, motherfucker
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade but all the lyrics are 'are you hanging up your stocking on your wall'
Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody but all the lyrics are 'are you hanging up your stocking...
Merry Christmas Everybody by Slade but all the lyrics are 'Are You Hanging Up Your Stocking On Your Wall?'Crooned by @MichaelMisDisappointing More: http://li...
youtu.be
December 1, 2023 at 8:28 AM
Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade but all the lyrics are 'are you hanging up your stocking on your wall'
Reposted by Mel☆nie
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Reposted by Mel☆nie
My sole knowledge of Hooters comes from about a dozen jokes in American films and sitcoms, but if anyone had ever, at any point in my adult life, slid this photo in my direction, I would have immediately responded with the words "I presume these are the four gentlemen who founded Hooters".
October 20, 2025 at 3:01 PM
My sole knowledge of Hooters comes from about a dozen jokes in American films and sitcoms, but if anyone had ever, at any point in my adult life, slid this photo in my direction, I would have immediately responded with the words "I presume these are the four gentlemen who founded Hooters".
Reposted by Mel☆nie
French police investigating the theft at the Louvre are now interviewing all men called Robèrt.
October 20, 2025 at 8:53 AM
French police investigating the theft at the Louvre are now interviewing all men called Robèrt.
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Ruin a song by adding the word ‘literally’ to the title. I’ll start.
Love will literally tear us apart.
Love will literally tear us apart.
September 13, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Ruin a song by adding the word ‘literally’ to the title. I’ll start.
Love will literally tear us apart.
Love will literally tear us apart.
Reposted by Mel☆nie
These are the stories I want from social media 👇
News from Finland. A 9-year-old lost an especially good stick he’d had since he was 2. He hung up 20 posters. A few days later it was returned. It had been found by a 2-year-old, who wanted to keep it for herself, but her mother made her return it. She got toys, flowers and candy as a reward.
September 13, 2025 at 2:48 PM
These are the stories I want from social media 👇
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Trump's hand is like in a film when someone has been bitten by a zombie and they try to hide it and are too cowardly and self serving to admit it and it gets worse and they go mad and everyone dies.
August 25, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Trump's hand is like in a film when someone has been bitten by a zombie and they try to hide it and are too cowardly and self serving to admit it and it gets worse and they go mad and everyone dies.
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Old MacDonald had a theramin,
OOOOeeeeeeeOOOOOOOeeeeOOOOOOOOO
OOOOeeeeeeeOOOOOOOeeeeOOOOOOOOO
August 22, 2023 at 9:45 AM
Old MacDonald had a theramin,
OOOOeeeeeeeOOOOOOOeeeeOOOOOOOOO
OOOOeeeeeeeOOOOOOOeeeeOOOOOOOOO
Reposted by Mel☆nie
August 16, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Reposted by Mel☆nie
"The funny thing is I don't even like chocolate. Or Phil Collins."
August 15, 2025 at 7:56 PM
"The funny thing is I don't even like chocolate. Or Phil Collins."
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Amazing that Putin insisted on two words whose initials are 'Pee Pee'
August 16, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Amazing that Putin insisted on two words whose initials are 'Pee Pee'
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Catastrophic subtitling on the 1941 movie "Love on the Dole".
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
August 3, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Catastrophic subtitling on the 1941 movie "Love on the Dole".
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
Reposted by Mel☆nie
I laughed at this video for like 2 minutes straight last night and now you get to
July 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I laughed at this video for like 2 minutes straight last night and now you get to
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Today is July 27th, which, as you all already know, is Bagpipe Appreciation Day. And it's an occasion, like Valentine's Day, that's ideally spent with your main squeeze.
In Tamil, the word for bagpipes, ஏமாறக்கூடிய, translates literally to “noisy ballsacks”
July 27, 2025 at 9:01 AM
Today is July 27th, which, as you all already know, is Bagpipe Appreciation Day. And it's an occasion, like Valentine's Day, that's ideally spent with your main squeeze.
Reposted by Mel☆nie
"What do we want?"
"A compilation album!"
"What shall we call it?"
"Now!"
"A compilation album!"
"What shall we call it?"
"Now!"
July 25, 2025 at 9:04 AM
"What do we want?"
"A compilation album!"
"What shall we call it?"
"Now!"
"A compilation album!"
"What shall we call it?"
"Now!"
Reposted by Mel☆nie
Steve had to get through college somehow.
July 25, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Steve had to get through college somehow.