Matty
@matthewahuman.bsky.social
Reposted by Matty
This is easily the funniest play call I’ve seen in years, they just ignored him and he Griddied into the end zone
December 15, 2025 at 2:19 AM
This is easily the funniest play call I’ve seen in years, they just ignored him and he Griddied into the end zone
Reposted by Matty
My friend’s dad died this week and I want to share his obituary. First because it is so beautifully written. And because Joe was the kind of guy you should know about. www.little-wardfuneralhome.com/m/obituaries...
Judge Joseph H. Booth - View Obituary & Service Information
Share Memories and Support the Family.
www.little-wardfuneralhome.com
December 13, 2025 at 3:11 AM
My friend’s dad died this week and I want to share his obituary. First because it is so beautifully written. And because Joe was the kind of guy you should know about. www.little-wardfuneralhome.com/m/obituaries...
Reposted by Matty
It’s fucked up that in the Book of Job, the main character is made to suffer endlessly through no fault of his own, and his name is spelled the same as the thing you have to do for money 2,000 years later.
December 7, 2025 at 4:49 PM
It’s fucked up that in the Book of Job, the main character is made to suffer endlessly through no fault of his own, and his name is spelled the same as the thing you have to do for money 2,000 years later.
Reposted by Matty
The Supreme Court paved the way for a felon to return to the presidency — where, behind the shield of office, that felon has ordered a string of murders.
The boat was split in half. 9 men were dead. 2 more clung to a floating piece of wreckage and tried desperately to flip it over for 41 minutes straight. There was no possible way they were going anywhere.
Then they were killed in cold blood by the U.S. military.
Then they were killed in cold blood by the U.S. military.
December 5, 2025 at 1:36 AM
The Supreme Court paved the way for a felon to return to the presidency — where, behind the shield of office, that felon has ordered a string of murders.
gerrymandering sounds like a sex crime
December 3, 2025 at 5:06 AM
gerrymandering sounds like a sex crime
eating cranberry tart and pumpkin pie at the same time always wanted to do that
a cartoon rat is holding a sandwich and a piece of fruit
ALT: a cartoon rat is holding a sandwich and a piece of fruit
media.tenor.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:10 AM
eating cranberry tart and pumpkin pie at the same time always wanted to do that
Reposted by Matty
Clerks voice:
DO YOU WANT TO BLOCK A KICK
BY ZIRKLE
DO YOU WANT TO BLOCK A KICK
BY ZIRKLE
November 29, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Clerks voice:
DO YOU WANT TO BLOCK A KICK
BY ZIRKLE
DO YOU WANT TO BLOCK A KICK
BY ZIRKLE
Just realized me re-watching the West Wing is like my dad still watching Andy Griffith or whatever 😬
November 28, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Just realized me re-watching the West Wing is like my dad still watching Andy Griffith or whatever 😬
Reposted by Matty
I forget that not everyone who follows me is in the CFB corner of Bluesky (though this always breaks contain) so I just want alley oop this onto the timeline. there’s not a better cause out there and a lot of the wishes are very affordable (or you can go big if that’s your thing) 💜💜💜
🧵 We are, in fact, doing the thing again for @onesimplewish.bsky.social. In 2024, the kind people of this community put the money cannon on blast to help grant $75K in wishes for children in foster care. Toys, tech, a suit for job interviews. Here we go again! 👇
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...
November 23, 2025 at 3:38 PM
I forget that not everyone who follows me is in the CFB corner of Bluesky (though this always breaks contain) so I just want alley oop this onto the timeline. there’s not a better cause out there and a lot of the wishes are very affordable (or you can go big if that’s your thing) 💜💜💜
Reposted by Matty
this take gets annoying as a southerner. you should not give up on the south, but no, it is not red because of voter suppression or a lack of funding for dems. doug jones raised shitloads of money and lost. it is red because the overwhelming majority are extremely racist white conservatives
I understand why a lot of white liberals are like, fuck the south, because they think about the people in power who are mostly white conservatives. But that is only because of Jim Crow, voter suppression, a lack of real funding for Dems there
November 16, 2025 at 1:37 AM
this take gets annoying as a southerner. you should not give up on the south, but no, it is not red because of voter suppression or a lack of funding for dems. doug jones raised shitloads of money and lost. it is red because the overwhelming majority are extremely racist white conservatives
Reposted by Matty
chuck schumer has been barred from formally observing this year's lexus december to remember sales event. they can't stop him from standing outside, but he will not be allowed into the showroom and he cannot directly behold the obelisk or participate in the thousand screams
November 12, 2025 at 4:51 AM
chuck schumer has been barred from formally observing this year's lexus december to remember sales event. they can't stop him from standing outside, but he will not be allowed into the showroom and he cannot directly behold the obelisk or participate in the thousand screams
What a loser
Kaine on why he thinks just getting a vote on healthcare is a win: "We're the minority party, but everybody will get to see who is standing for them when it comes to lowering their healthcare costs"
November 11, 2025 at 4:08 PM
What a loser
Reposted by Matty
agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish
November 10, 2025 at 12:36 AM
agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish
Reposted by Matty
i think this is key. taking the deal would amount to taking the blame. it would turn a clear political victory into an unambiguous defeat.
If the Dems blink after all of this, for a deal that all but ensures no ACA subsidies in 2026 anyway, then what was the purpose of letting the shutdown go for 40 days in the first place?
November 10, 2025 at 12:56 AM
i think this is key. taking the deal would amount to taking the blame. it would turn a clear political victory into an unambiguous defeat.
Reposted by Matty
this is an incredibly bad take but sometimes when i think of global warming disproportionately impacting younger generations my mind tells me "that's what they get for not going to movie theaters enough"
November 9, 2025 at 1:56 AM
this is an incredibly bad take but sometimes when i think of global warming disproportionately impacting younger generations my mind tells me "that's what they get for not going to movie theaters enough"
Reposted by Matty
He wanted to be Napoleon but he’s a Neapolitan
November 8, 2025 at 5:13 PM
He wanted to be Napoleon but he’s a Neapolitan
Reposted by Matty
here's something cool: the son of the letter carrier on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood (McFeely) is a real letter carrier for the USPS and he's our letter carrier and he's awesome
November 8, 2025 at 3:39 AM
here's something cool: the son of the letter carrier on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood (McFeely) is a real letter carrier for the USPS and he's our letter carrier and he's awesome
Reposted by Matty
I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag
November 8, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag
Reposted by Matty
Colorado voters passed universal free lunch for kids on Tuesday and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the genius of this ballot design. When I saw the number 300,000 next to the number 486 on my ballot I actually laughed out loud.
November 7, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Colorado voters passed universal free lunch for kids on Tuesday and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the genius of this ballot design. When I saw the number 300,000 next to the number 486 on my ballot I actually laughed out loud.
Reposted by Matty
movie where
* the protagonist's immigrant family being undocumented is an actual plot point
* the anti-immigrant cat brigade is portrayed unequivocally as villains
* the capitalist exploitation of immigrant labor is clearly articulated
* the main events are kicked off by an anti-Semitic arson attack
* the protagonist's immigrant family being undocumented is an actual plot point
* the anti-immigrant cat brigade is portrayed unequivocally as villains
* the capitalist exploitation of immigrant labor is clearly articulated
* the main events are kicked off by an anti-Semitic arson attack
It’s hard to believe but there was a cartoon about an immigrant mouse and it was seen as totally fine and not controversial and not woke because it was an aspirational and nice thing about America that people could come here and find a better life
November 6, 2025 at 2:45 PM
movie where
* the protagonist's immigrant family being undocumented is an actual plot point
* the anti-immigrant cat brigade is portrayed unequivocally as villains
* the capitalist exploitation of immigrant labor is clearly articulated
* the main events are kicked off by an anti-Semitic arson attack
* the protagonist's immigrant family being undocumented is an actual plot point
* the anti-immigrant cat brigade is portrayed unequivocally as villains
* the capitalist exploitation of immigrant labor is clearly articulated
* the main events are kicked off by an anti-Semitic arson attack
Reposted by Matty
this looks like a trick daffy duck would put up to get bugs bunny into "the oval office"
November 5, 2025 at 11:04 PM
this looks like a trick daffy duck would put up to get bugs bunny into "the oval office"