This is a safe space for valid non-sexist roasts of Met Gala attendees
May 8, 2025 at 4:39 PM
This is a safe space for valid non-sexist roasts of Met Gala attendees
Dudes be like “I laughed” after 20 minutes and three spirals when they could’ve just said lol in the first place
April 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Dudes be like “I laughed” after 20 minutes and three spirals when they could’ve just said lol in the first place
2024: bootlickers
2025: groundkissers
2025: groundkissers
April 15, 2025 at 2:03 PM
2024: bootlickers
2025: groundkissers
2025: groundkissers
Ranch education but it’s just me teaching them how to spot a bad ranch dressing
April 13, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Ranch education but it’s just me teaching them how to spot a bad ranch dressing
Reposted by MK
No matter what anyone else says, the snakes have not escaped their enclosure. That is our incredibly rare Invisible Snake exhibit and you should be grateful.
January 30, 2025 at 2:43 PM
No matter what anyone else says, the snakes have not escaped their enclosure. That is our incredibly rare Invisible Snake exhibit and you should be grateful.
Sincerely hoping the dream I had of a man in a chickensuit lurking in my backyard and telling me women need good Christian husbands never comes true.
January 18, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Sincerely hoping the dream I had of a man in a chickensuit lurking in my backyard and telling me women need good Christian husbands never comes true.
Reposted by MK
I don’t need horror movies, I live in the USA
October 30, 2023 at 3:51 PM
I don’t need horror movies, I live in the USA
Reposted by MK
Grandma: Be sure to get your fist way up in that turkey. Stuff it so hard you get sore. Really rearrange its guts.
Me: You know what, I'm fine with letting this become a forgotten family recipe.
Me: You know what, I'm fine with letting this become a forgotten family recipe.
November 22, 2023 at 2:09 PM
Grandma: Be sure to get your fist way up in that turkey. Stuff it so hard you get sore. Really rearrange its guts.
Me: You know what, I'm fine with letting this become a forgotten family recipe.
Me: You know what, I'm fine with letting this become a forgotten family recipe.
Unless they’ve sworn their fealty to me forever in an ancient pagan ritual, I’m not bringing them home for the holidays.
November 22, 2023 at 2:48 PM
Unless they’ve sworn their fealty to me forever in an ancient pagan ritual, I’m not bringing them home for the holidays.
Reposted by MK
Another day, another "I'm getting too old for this shit".
October 30, 2023 at 3:59 PM
Another day, another "I'm getting too old for this shit".
I don’t need horror movies, I live in the USA
October 30, 2023 at 3:51 PM
I don’t need horror movies, I live in the USA
My parents told me the house would burn down if I didn’t clean out the lint trap enough
October 26, 2023 at 8:24 PM
My parents told me the house would burn down if I didn’t clean out the lint trap enough
Me when I hear someone likes Miracle Whip
October 24, 2023 at 4:46 PM
Me when I hear someone likes Miracle Whip
I tried to socialize and all I got was a cluster headache
October 21, 2023 at 2:34 AM
I tried to socialize and all I got was a cluster headache
Reposted by MK
keep testing myself for covid but nope, I'm just old and tired all the time
October 20, 2023 at 1:04 PM
keep testing myself for covid but nope, I'm just old and tired all the time
Imagine thinking you don’t have BPD just because you’re a snail
October 20, 2023 at 1:15 PM
Imagine thinking you don’t have BPD just because you’re a snail
Reposted by MK
[“Hallelujah”]
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiiiiiiiiiiilllskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiiiiiiiiiiilllskin
October 19, 2023 at 3:48 PM
[“Hallelujah”]
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiiiiiiiiiiilllskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiiiiiiiiiiilllskin
Reposted by MK
At this point, jimmy go ahead and eat world
October 18, 2023 at 10:28 PM
At this point, jimmy go ahead and eat world
Reposted by MK
for my next trick i will not be getting out of bed today
October 15, 2023 at 12:38 PM
for my next trick i will not be getting out of bed today
The British campaign to save the turtles
October 19, 2023 at 1:52 PM
The British campaign to save the turtles
Reposted by MK
Following someone on Spotify feels like passive stalking.
September 29, 2023 at 4:14 PM
Following someone on Spotify feels like passive stalking.