Landmark week for assholes getting punched in the face

Serious Wikipedia shade

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true

In hindsight, two-day delivery and keeping up with randos from high school was not worth our democracy

"I asked grok" "I asked chatgpt" Ok, I asked Guy Clark while he was wishing he was in Austin, in a chili parlor bar while he was drinking mad dog margaritas but he was sitting in Dublin rolling cigarettes, holding back and choking back the shakes with every breath.

We are living in a George Saunders story.

Can't wait to watch all the "Quck, while America isn't on TikTok..." content on Reels in 3-18 months

me in my 20s: it’s saturday night! time to go get drunk and party!!!
me in my 40s: ah, saturday night. time to enjoy an evening with my family and perhaps enjoy a drink or two
me in my 8470s: huh. i think i might be god
me in my 98580s: yep i’m god for sure

me: hey medieval peasant. i'm from the future
peasant: oh art thou here to try to kille me with doritos
me: no i just wanted to say you were right all along about hot buttered bread. it fuckin rocks
peasant: it DOTH rock
me: it DOTH
peasant: tis the GOATE

BREAKING: i've just received word from an inside source that Donald Trump's next Secretary of the Interior will be King Leopold II of Belgium. staffers in the Department of the Interior have described their mood to me as "cautiously optimistic"

look, we've all had the odd viral marketing campaign get away from us and spiral out of control. what matters right now is that this is nobody's fault and we shouldn't blame anyone.