Neal M𓅃
@nealdm86.bsky.social
Poor man's comedian; will make you laugh not always on purpose. GeoEnvironmentalist/ Author: Devil On Sea. @[email protected]. Barbigerous. #Ally he/him Cis
Commentator: the goalkeeper's on the floor, flailing.
Me: oh, I didn't know the Chinese National keeper played for them.
Me: oh, I didn't know the Chinese National keeper played for them.
December 30, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Commentator: the goalkeeper's on the floor, flailing.
Me: oh, I didn't know the Chinese National keeper played for them.
Me: oh, I didn't know the Chinese National keeper played for them.
Just made a bolognese in the oven for the first time. Felt wrong. Tasted so good. This method will become a family staple for sure.
December 21, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Just made a bolognese in the oven for the first time. Felt wrong. Tasted so good. This method will become a family staple for sure.
Very much reminds me of the time my youngest called me up one night whereupon she handed me a shit she'd done, through the door, like I'd won a prize. She was in nappies at the time but nappy, bed, floor, all clean. Leading me to believe she shat in her own hands before summoning me to show off.
December 17, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Very much reminds me of the time my youngest called me up one night whereupon she handed me a shit she'd done, through the door, like I'd won a prize. She was in nappies at the time but nappy, bed, floor, all clean. Leading me to believe she shat in her own hands before summoning me to show off.
Wasn't even fishing and got a bite
December 4, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Wasn't even fishing and got a bite
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
December 4, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Anyone else notice Wagon Wheels look smaller in your hand compared to when you were a kid? And why do the sandwiches in my lunchbox still have their crusts on?
Because you're an adult you fucking muppet. You gotta pay the magic forward.
December 4, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Anyone else notice Wagon Wheels look smaller in your hand compared to when you were a kid? And why do the sandwiches in my lunchbox still have their crusts on?
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
Draw now at 2pm! Still time to enter! Good luck all bsky.app/profile/toky...
COMPETITION TIME! To say thank you for the orders I’ll give away one of my 2026 Nerdlingers calendars.
To win just RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner on Monday 1pm.
My shop www.infinitebacon.com 20% OFF Black Friday deal on prints with the code BF20
To win just RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner on Monday 1pm.
My shop www.infinitebacon.com 20% OFF Black Friday deal on prints with the code BF20
December 1, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Draw now at 2pm! Still time to enter! Good luck all bsky.app/profile/toky...
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
COMPETITION TIME! To say thank you for the orders I’ll give away one of my 2026 Nerdlingers calendars.
To win just RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner on Monday 1pm.
My shop www.infinitebacon.com 20% OFF Black Friday deal on prints with the code BF20
To win just RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner on Monday 1pm.
My shop www.infinitebacon.com 20% OFF Black Friday deal on prints with the code BF20
November 29, 2025 at 3:06 PM
COMPETITION TIME! To say thank you for the orders I’ll give away one of my 2026 Nerdlingers calendars.
To win just RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner on Monday 1pm.
My shop www.infinitebacon.com 20% OFF Black Friday deal on prints with the code BF20
To win just RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner on Monday 1pm.
My shop www.infinitebacon.com 20% OFF Black Friday deal on prints with the code BF20
THAT'S NO MOON! That's what they say. That's what, they. You know who they are? Rebel scum. SCUM. That's what THEY are. No moon. No moon, no. No! It's a DEAth, stAR. A star, not a moon. Not a moon. And they say, it blew up a planet. AL-DERR-RON. Did you see it? I didn't see it. FAKE NEWS
November 28, 2025 at 3:39 PM
THAT'S NO MOON! That's what they say. That's what, they. You know who they are? Rebel scum. SCUM. That's what THEY are. No moon. No moon, no. No! It's a DEAth, stAR. A star, not a moon. Not a moon. And they say, it blew up a planet. AL-DERR-RON. Did you see it? I didn't see it. FAKE NEWS
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
Arrakis, a desert, planet, can you believe it? Some people call it Dune, I call it Arrakis. The SPICE must flow, and quite frankly, it will be flowing much faster than under the failed DUKE LETO. Maybe he was a nice guy, maybe not,I think he was jealous of me! We're looking into that very strongly.
November 27, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Arrakis, a desert, planet, can you believe it? Some people call it Dune, I call it Arrakis. The SPICE must flow, and quite frankly, it will be flowing much faster than under the failed DUKE LETO. Maybe he was a nice guy, maybe not,I think he was jealous of me! We're looking into that very strongly.
"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. Everybody needs a bosom."
November 28, 2025 at 3:29 PM
"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. Everybody needs a bosom."
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
I’ve got about five spots left for Christmas commissions if you’d like to give someone you love something a bit special on Christmas day.
bsky.app/profile/toky...
bsky.app/profile/toky...
If you’re looking for cheap, unique sticking fillers then I’ve got you covered.
Stickers and fridge magnets all hand produced, by me.
www.infinitebacon.com
Thank you!
Stickers and fridge magnets all hand produced, by me.
www.infinitebacon.com
Thank you!
November 27, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I’ve got about five spots left for Christmas commissions if you’d like to give someone you love something a bit special on Christmas day.
bsky.app/profile/toky...
bsky.app/profile/toky...
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
My interview with Andrew Tate & Laurence Fox
November 28, 2025 at 12:09 PM
My interview with Andrew Tate & Laurence Fox
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
'We invited a homeless man for dinner - he stayed for 45 years'
The man was only meant to stay for a day.
metro.co.uk
November 18, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
this is literally never not accurate
November 10, 2025 at 6:32 PM
this is literally never not accurate
Been using my current home office desk for years and there's always been a piece of paper stuck underneath. I just assumed it was instructions or a warranty that came with the table. Finally looked today and it's even better.
November 10, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Been using my current home office desk for years and there's always been a piece of paper stuck underneath. I just assumed it was instructions or a warranty that came with the table. Finally looked today and it's even better.
Change one letter, ruin a candy
SARS
SARS
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Bitterfinger
Bitterfinger
Change one letter, ruin a candy.
S&Ms
S&Ms
October 30, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Change one letter, ruin a candy
SARS
SARS
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
35th rotation commenced.
Thank you, to people who have donated a few quid last night.
We spent it on a bulk order of accessible toilet keys for: www.essehouse.co.uk/pip-program
Thank you, to people who have donated a few quid last night.
We spent it on a bulk order of accessible toilet keys for: www.essehouse.co.uk/pip-program
October 16, 2025 at 12:18 PM
35th rotation commenced.
Thank you, to people who have donated a few quid last night.
We spent it on a bulk order of accessible toilet keys for: www.essehouse.co.uk/pip-program
Thank you, to people who have donated a few quid last night.
We spent it on a bulk order of accessible toilet keys for: www.essehouse.co.uk/pip-program
Who fires the firemen?
Who dogs the dogman
Why is always “Who watches the watchmen?”, but never “Who ploughs the ploughmen?”
October 16, 2025 at 11:52 AM
Who fires the firemen?
Reposted by Neal M𓅃
We're entirely funded by our volunteers, supporters, and kind one-off donors.
In the last 6 months, that has enabled us to provide emergency safehouse accommodation for trans people escaping abuse. It has given us the ability to provide a one-to-one support service for homeless trans people...
1/4
In the last 6 months, that has enabled us to provide emergency safehouse accommodation for trans people escaping abuse. It has given us the ability to provide a one-to-one support service for homeless trans people...
1/4
October 11, 2025 at 9:40 AM
We're entirely funded by our volunteers, supporters, and kind one-off donors.
In the last 6 months, that has enabled us to provide emergency safehouse accommodation for trans people escaping abuse. It has given us the ability to provide a one-to-one support service for homeless trans people...
1/4
In the last 6 months, that has enabled us to provide emergency safehouse accommodation for trans people escaping abuse. It has given us the ability to provide a one-to-one support service for homeless trans people...
1/4
This looks lovely until your slowly realise, with creeping dread, that there's no television anywhere! Even in the "centre of the bedroom glass walled bathroom"
October 14, 2025 at 11:16 AM
This looks lovely until your slowly realise, with creeping dread, that there's no television anywhere! Even in the "centre of the bedroom glass walled bathroom"
Before being able to leave a bad review of a book, you should have to evidence that the book is poorly written and that it is not just your personal opinion.
This should apply to reviews of all creative pursuits (art, music, films, etc)
This should apply to reviews of all creative pursuits (art, music, films, etc)
Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat
October 14, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Before being able to leave a bad review of a book, you should have to evidence that the book is poorly written and that it is not just your personal opinion.
This should apply to reviews of all creative pursuits (art, music, films, etc)
This should apply to reviews of all creative pursuits (art, music, films, etc)
Classic narcissist behaviour
"That beating I just gave them, remember, that's entirely your fault. You could have stopped me at any time but you didn't. You own all of this."
"That beating I just gave them, remember, that's entirely your fault. You could have stopped me at any time but you didn't. You own all of this."
October 10, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Classic narcissist behaviour
"That beating I just gave them, remember, that's entirely your fault. You could have stopped me at any time but you didn't. You own all of this."
"That beating I just gave them, remember, that's entirely your fault. You could have stopped me at any time but you didn't. You own all of this."