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Paused Mortem 💀

@pausedmortem.bsky.social

1.3K followers 300 following 980 posts

inside, dead https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xqzsviu6zdznq2re2dgjeyq7/lists/3lbvpj43xok2l

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Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · Jul 21

For a fucked up person, you'd think I'd thrive in a fucked up world.

25 56

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 32m

Bookmark this, motherfucker 🖕

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 33m

Sorry for screenshotting twitter but I've been laughing at this for the past 10 minutes.

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 21d

Partially clothed woman beating a brain
"Stfu"

5 45 170

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 4d

short hair, does care

2 16 45

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 16h

Taking time for a inspirational moment. Okay, I'm done now.

5 30 73

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 7h

Honestly shocked no one has written a hit song about my butthole yet.

21 17 88

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 15h

I bought a pink power drill, so it’s over for you bitches

1 15 49

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · Sep 8

Wait 3 years to repost my joke so I know it’s real

1 12 31

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 21d

Bet you the garden hose was invented by a man

2 6

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Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 20d

I’ve walked along train tracks and a river this week and did not find a dead body, TV really set unrealistic expectations for me

2 17 42

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 17d

What even is social media? Does it involve touching?

1 11 16

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Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 3d

RIP Carl Jung he would have loved AI replacing the collective unconscious

6 19

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Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 1d

Being kidless on social media means never having to say my baby liked my butthole joke

4 7

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 5h

Tang-inang buhay 'to.

1 3

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SIDE FANGS 🧛‍♀️ @sidebangsmusic.com · 9h

Having a brain is exhausting

5 16 69

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 6h

in my what in the actual fuck era

10 24

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Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 6h

*flirts*

*gets left on read*

Fuck

5 11 64

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 2d

why don’t I have pie is the real
question

6 14 37

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

BooSlice👻🔪 @twosense.bsky.social · 6h

the sexual tension between my spaghetti and meatballs tho

9 21 90

Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀

Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1d

“Girl, he is not worth the bangs on your face”

- me, as a therapist

2 25 90

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 18h

Lmao I just saw this jlo interview and she says she grew up singing theatre songs and that her voice sounds different singing theatre songs then she sings a a couple lines and it's just the same voice and it's off-key I'm dyiiiinnggggg

2 8

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 2d

Another day of failure, I suppose.

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 2d

Ah yes, the joys of black coffee.

5 10

Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 2d

I'm awake again. Somebody shoot me in the head.