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jordan pumpkin spice [ham]

@nursemurderer.bsky.social

11K followers 630 following 5.8K posts

just your typical old fashioned, salt of the earth, red blooded, hard working, blue collar, queer lady. PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social 🆗 https://nursemurderer.com

nursemurderer.com

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · May 20

literally my current proof of life outside of my fckn job:

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 1h

it’s maybelline ruler

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 1h

"I never imagined it would be like this," I whisper into the mirror as I put on my dinosaur costume.

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · 12h

from now on I will only respond to dorkenheimer or his dorkness

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 18h

I think it's very cool that we're able to make each other laugh

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alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 4h

don’t talk to me until i’ve, actually just don’t talk to me

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 1d

babydoll i recognize
you’re a hideous thing inside

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 1d

drinking coffee after noon is a disaster it is like daring your brain to do nothing but play the tambourine off-beat all night long when you’re trying to sleep

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 1h

gross even

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 1h

THANKS AS ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT ILY

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 2h

put makeup on for a video doc appt like any of this matters. ps no filter can remove the clinical depression

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 2h

apparently

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 2h

well I was wondering wtf my wife was doing saying she’s your wife so tbh i’m processing a lot rn and could use an extra wife to help

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 6h

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 2h

imagine having the will to live lol

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 3h

whoa. what WHAT

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 13h

I should get a wife

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 3h

Generally I am not a fan of myself but apparently still have enough of an ego to click on the solicitation emails I get from ghostwriter pay-to-publishers who supposedly want me to write my life story

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

Just ate a piece of fruit as though staying alive is worth while.

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🕷️🕸️emcEEKayvee🕸️🕷️ @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 4h

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 8

This day in history. 1945. US president Truman announced that only Britain and Canada would be given the secret to the nuclear bomb. Britain made its own bombs; Canada made the Bow River Big Boy Atomic Leaf Blower.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 8h

I’ve yet to hear anyone say, “You know what would make things better? More billionaires.”

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 14h

Not to get political but someone left a dildo in my building's driveway today. And when I got back from my errands it was gone

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 14h

🫶🏼

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 14h

I got you

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 14h

support this as well FOR YOU

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