rowan kaiser
rowan.monster
rowan kaiser
@rowan.monster
high-risk, mid-femme

one-time tv and game critic, retired into podcasting with @totalmassacre.bsky.social

current video game consultant

🏳️‍⚧️ PDX, millennial elder
Pinned
it's so weird how the vanguard of fascism is freedom of speech regarding Palestine, trans rights, and immigration, all things that the left has been screaming at the Democrats to take a better stand on and the Dems declined.
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DUNGEON ENCOUNTERS ($8.99) - classic dungeon crawling stripped to its bare parts, reformed into something incredible. cranks the "fuck YOU" difficulty of old school dungeon crawling to their natural - and hilarious - conclusions. store.steampowered.com/app/1451080/...
December 26, 2025 at 12:02 AM
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it is wild to anyone who was a hard-core PC gamer in 1996 when we realize that NVIDIA is now one of the pillars the entire world economy rests upon.
December 25, 2025 at 12:55 AM
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you there boy, what bullshit is this
December 25, 2025 at 5:30 AM
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"One present on Christmas eve" has turned into mayhem. My children are pelting me with candy canes and shouting "Excess is praxis!" They are quoting Georges Bataille. Please help me
December 25, 2025 at 4:04 AM
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December 25, 2025 at 4:20 AM
mark cuban, a man who sold his beloved basketball team to richer people with the promise that they would let him be involved in key decisions, then had to watch from afar as they ignored him and dismantled it with an incompetency never before seen in sports, still believes in private enterprise
December 25, 2025 at 4:10 AM
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December 25, 2025 at 3:58 AM
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Welcome new Japanese users. If you have any rare tapes or LaserDiscs you need transferred let me know.
December 25, 2025 at 1:32 AM
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My house has a new familiar. If you are near 39th and Holgate in Portland and missing a delightful black kitty, this guy or gal seems to clearly come from a home and is also desperate for food and shelter
December 24, 2025 at 2:44 AM
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December 25, 2025 at 12:32 AM
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December 25, 2025 at 12:11 AM
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tis the season for Maggie Cheungmas, everyone
December 24, 2025 at 4:48 AM
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my body is a machine that turns disk space into not enough disk space
December 24, 2025 at 7:47 AM
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My new years wish is that the next time I see a "Ghibli Inspired" game, it will be a work entitled BETTER A PIG THAN A FASCIST.
December 24, 2025 at 4:29 AM
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Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
December 24, 2025 at 3:32 AM
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hrt won’t turn you into an anime waifu, but it will make you look like your mother. and i’d really like to fuck your mother. so take the fucking hormones.
December 23, 2025 at 11:30 PM
tis the season for Maggie Cheungmas, everyone
December 24, 2025 at 4:48 AM
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Welcome to the resistance *checks notes* Global TV?
December 24, 2025 at 3:27 AM
My house has a new familiar. If you are near 39th and Holgate in Portland and missing a delightful black kitty, this guy or gal seems to clearly come from a home and is also desperate for food and shelter
December 24, 2025 at 2:44 AM
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up there with this classic:
December 24, 2025 at 1:34 AM
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Essentially, I think that LLM-generated dialogue only makes sense if you believe that the product of writing is words.

But the product of writing isn't words, any more than the product of justice is prisoners, or the product of love is weddings. The product of writing is meaning.
December 23, 2025 at 7:06 PM
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Of all the bizarre decisions... After years of development hell and Kickstarter drama, SpaceVenture, the new point-and-click adventure by the original Space Quest guys, leaves early access.

On Christmas goddamn eve (GMT-wise).

In the middle of a Steam sale.

With no discount.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
SpaceVenture on Steam
A sci-fi comedy adventure game
store.steampowered.com
December 24, 2025 at 1:04 AM
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ROSEWATER is an adventure game set in an alternate Wild West, currently 20% off on Steam!

store.steampowered.com/app/1226670/...

Featuring:
- Hand-drawn and animated graphics
- Choices that actually affect the story
- An IndieCade-nominated voice performance

But don't just take my word for it:
December 22, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Got super glue on my fingertip and now I have WORK to unlock my phone, fucked up
December 23, 2025 at 9:41 AM
in the Windows port of Wizardry VII -- called Wizardry Gold, and the version you're most likely to find today -- combat is paced by length of sound files, but the .wav files used for sound have over a second of dead air at the start and end, MASSIVELY slowing down this combat-heavy DRPG

(cont'd)
i was going through my X archives and found this by @superpodsaga.com, which I qrt'd at some point years ago

so, let me bring the question back: what is the most useless piece of video game knowledge you know?
December 23, 2025 at 8:21 AM