rowan kaiser
rowan.monster
rowan kaiser
@rowan.monster
high-risk, mid-femme

one-time tv and game critic, retired into podcasting with @totalmassacre.bsky.social

current video game consultant

🏳️‍⚧️ PDX, millennial elder
Pinned
it's so weird how the vanguard of fascism is freedom of speech regarding Palestine, trans rights, and immigration, all things that the left has been screaming at the Democrats to take a better stand on and the Dems declined.
Reposted by rowan kaiser
China will reinstate the neutral zone trap era and end hockey
Trump, in the middle of his latest unhinged Truth Social screed, claims that if Canada makes a trade deal with China, "the first thing China will do is terminate ALL Ice Hockey being played in Canada, and permanently eliminate The Stanley Cup."
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 AM
gonna make up entirely new verses for Ghostface's "We Celebrate" www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS6h...
February 10, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
Ten years ago today we shipped Firewatch. I say this every anniversary but it feels both like a lifetime ago and like it was yesterday. Thank you everyone who played it back then or played it today for the first time. Thank you to everyone on the team, I’m still so proud of what we made.
February 9, 2026 at 12:17 PM
I have made it to Uncharted 3 (first time) in my playthrough of the UC collection and it's kind of astonishing how juiceless it feels after UC2 was one of the most juice-filled games of all time.

like every bit of pacing that felt exactly right in 2 feels kinda tired in 3 so far
February 9, 2026 at 11:10 PM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
That TPUSA halftime show is gonna be like the Velvet Underground's first album; only a couple hundred people watched it but every single one of them will tase themselves in the balls on January 6th part 2
February 9, 2026 at 10:56 AM
so I ended up getting Forza Horizon 4, if you played it to the point where you were painting your cars and having ghosts to race against I'd love to add you as a friend for variety. my Xbox tag is "arkaeyn7"
February 9, 2026 at 8:43 PM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
riot games moment
February 9, 2026 at 8:23 PM
so what are our favorite Discord-as-a-small-chat-platform alternatives?
February 9, 2026 at 8:21 PM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
I really want people to think about this. After all the insane lawsuits, all the threats, all the bullshit weve seen from this admin and the targets who kneeled in fear, an average Joe called the president a Pedophile protector to his face and didn't get touched. That's the Power of a union.
February 9, 2026 at 7:18 PM
Hahaha. Hah. 😬
February 9, 2026 at 7:37 PM
That TPUSA halftime show is gonna be like the Velvet Underground's first album; only a couple hundred people watched it but every single one of them will tase themselves in the balls on January 6th part 2
February 9, 2026 at 10:56 AM
Poor little Ziggy has something going on for like an hour where he keeps choking/snorting like he's got something stuck in his nasal passage/throat. It seems harmless, he's behaving completely normally otherwise, but it's really annoying noises
February 9, 2026 at 7:27 AM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
January 22, 2025 at 11:29 PM
hmmm, I'll take it, but let's see, enhance
February 9, 2026 at 4:54 AM
Watching the big game (Chelsea-Spurs in the WSL), Madonna is there
February 9, 2026 at 2:44 AM
Well at least we're really kicking into gear fighting this stuff now
The world is poised to overshoot the goal of limiting average global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius, as for the first time, a three-year period, ending in 2025, has breached the threshold.

Climate scientists are predicting devastating consequences.
There may be no turning back this climate crisis
As warming breaches a critical threshold, scientists fear cascading consequences.
www.motherjones.com
February 8, 2026 at 10:03 PM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
which is your favorite Rowan bit?

LIKE for "the mug of tea that will fix me"
HEART for "TOTAL MASSACRE"
FAV for "this just proves what I've believed all along"
all the favs I'm getting
February 8, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
That one Fantastic Mr. Fox gif (you know the one)
February 8, 2026 at 8:47 AM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
I'm no longer at work so if anyone has this clip please hit me up
I'm at work right now so I can't watch it but I would love it if someone could point me toward a clip of vance getting booed
February 8, 2026 at 4:20 AM
which is your favorite Rowan bit?

LIKE for "the mug of tea that will fix me"
HEART for "TOTAL MASSACRE"
FAV for "this just proves what I've believed all along"
all the favs I'm getting
February 8, 2026 at 2:43 AM
this will be the mug of green tea that fixes me
February 8, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
You are not an admin. You are not a moderator. The only power you have over me is a lousy revolver and six sagging little bullets. Fire your shot, spill my blood, no malicious powder can touch my posts
February 7, 2026 at 11:09 PM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
wait what do you MEAN new york has a forest wilderness zone in its middle and also a place called "Bard College" is this a fucking DND setting or
February 7, 2026 at 8:41 AM
Reposted by rowan kaiser
hard to think of a better example of "you may not believe in class war, but billionaires know they're in one" than this
This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
February 7, 2026 at 3:53 AM