John Cougar Melonfarmer
@shinyfailure.bsky.social
America’s Most Trusted Fart Source
Pinned
But Doctor, *I* am Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Joe Buck isn’t fit to carry Kuip’s jock strap
Beloved San Francisco Giants announcer Duane Kuiper came up short again in the balloting for the Hall of Fame’s Ford C. Frick award, with ESPN broadcaster Joe Buck taking the honors.
Giants announcer Duane Kuiper bypassed for Hall of Fame as Joe Buck wins Frick Award
Beloved San Francisco Giants announcer Duane Kuiper came up short again in the balloting for the Hall of Fame’s Ford C. Frick award, with ESPN broadcaster Joe Buck taking the honors.
bit.ly
December 11, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Joe Buck isn’t fit to carry Kuip’s jock strap
Another entry stricken from the Haven’t Seen list
A ★★★★ review of Sorcerer (1977)
An even more unsettling Seventies trucker film than the Smokey and the Bandit sequel where Jerry Reed was eaten by piranhas
boxd.it
December 10, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Another entry stricken from the Haven’t Seen list
Filing this for later, under “Ridding Myself of Pesky Erections”
You gotta see Alex Jones and Russell Brand do push-ups together.
December 8, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Filing this for later, under “Ridding Myself of Pesky Erections”
One hour photo developing
what skill did you master that you will never ever use again?
the ear piercing gun at claire’s
the ear piercing gun at claire’s
What skill did you master that you will never, ever use again?
Archival research feels like it’s full of these, but then there’s always one throwback archive with a microfiche machine or a paper catalogue (or, indeed: NARA)
Archival research feels like it’s full of these, but then there’s always one throwback archive with a microfiche machine or a paper catalogue (or, indeed: NARA)
December 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
One hour photo developing
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
The Guy Teams Were Willing To Face After Intentionally Walking Barry Bonds has now been elected to the Hall of Fame over Barry Bonds
Hall of Fame Contemporary Baseball Era veterans committee elects Jeff Kent
December 8, 2025 at 12:49 AM
The Guy Teams Were Willing To Face After Intentionally Walking Barry Bonds has now been elected to the Hall of Fame over Barry Bonds
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
I’m so twisted that to me they’re just a clown posse
December 8, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I’m so twisted that to me they’re just a clown posse
Too beautiful for this world
Claude the alligator, born in a Louisiana swamp, dies an SF icon www.sfgate.com/local/articl...
Claude the alligator, born in a Louisiana swamp, dies an SF icon
"As you can imagine it's a very sad day over here."
www.sfgate.com
December 3, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Too beautiful for this world
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Leather vests at the ready, you fucks, we're about to take over and beat your ass with 30 guitars at the same time.
November 28, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Leather vests at the ready, you fucks, we're about to take over and beat your ass with 30 guitars at the same time.
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
In the future, everyone will have an affair with Olivia Nuzzi for 15 minutes
November 26, 2025 at 12:38 AM
In the future, everyone will have an affair with Olivia Nuzzi for 15 minutes
Don’t forget to leave giblets out tonight for the Gravy Fairy
November 26, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Don’t forget to leave giblets out tonight for the Gravy Fairy
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
nose down ass up
that's the way we cyberstuck
that's the way we cyberstuck
November 26, 2025 at 3:58 PM
nose down ass up
that's the way we cyberstuck
that's the way we cyberstuck
It’s pretty wild that Olivia Nuzzi has a job and so many of my friends don’t
November 26, 2025 at 1:27 AM
It’s pretty wild that Olivia Nuzzi has a job and so many of my friends don’t
Searching for the break of day
Searching for something to sayyyy
Searching for something to sayyyy
November 23, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Searching for the break of day
Searching for something to sayyyy
Searching for something to sayyyy
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
this is of course preferable to the multiple retailers who keep trying to convince me a "hanukkah gnome" is a thing
November 23, 2025 at 4:31 AM
this is of course preferable to the multiple retailers who keep trying to convince me a "hanukkah gnome" is a thing
…huh, I actually do have “EDM Pope” on my 2025 bingo card. If that don’t beat all
He said "Amen" straight into the drop
Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
November 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
…huh, I actually do have “EDM Pope” on my 2025 bingo card. If that don’t beat all
“Make a Little Outhouse in Your Soul” by They Might Be Constipated
November 22, 2025 at 5:23 AM
“Make a Little Outhouse in Your Soul” by They Might Be Constipated
The unredacted Epstein files contain eldritch horrors man was never meant to know (2d10 SAN loss). Trump is just trying to protect our feeble minds from shattering. Also it contains the Summon/Bind Byakhee spell, and we can’t just have every Tom, Dick and Harry calling forth minions of Hastur
November 20, 2025 at 6:02 PM
The unredacted Epstein files contain eldritch horrors man was never meant to know (2d10 SAN loss). Trump is just trying to protect our feeble minds from shattering. Also it contains the Summon/Bind Byakhee spell, and we can’t just have every Tom, Dick and Harry calling forth minions of Hastur
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
Since Elizabeth Holmes is back in the news I want to share one of my favorite posts by future hall of fame wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald
November 18, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Since Elizabeth Holmes is back in the news I want to share one of my favorite posts by future hall of fame wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald
Thomas Paine for my real friends, real Paine for my Thomas friends
November 18, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Thomas Paine for my real friends, real Paine for my Thomas friends
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
STAR TREK AFTER DARK: SEASON 1
It's Raining Man Traps
Charlie XXX
Where Every Man Has Gone Before
The Fully Clothed Time
It's Raining Man Traps
Charlie XXX
Where Every Man Has Gone Before
The Fully Clothed Time
November 17, 2025 at 8:00 PM
STAR TREK AFTER DARK: SEASON 1
It's Raining Man Traps
Charlie XXX
Where Every Man Has Gone Before
The Fully Clothed Time
It's Raining Man Traps
Charlie XXX
Where Every Man Has Gone Before
The Fully Clothed Time
Gnarly if true
surf rock is only going to become more relevant as sea levels rise
November 16, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Gnarly if true
So THAT’S what’s going on at Bohemian Grove?
November 15, 2025 at 6:42 AM
So THAT’S what’s going on at Bohemian Grove?
Reposted by John Cougar Melonfarmer
every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours
November 9, 2025 at 2:55 AM
every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours